Trying To Milk Some Tomorrow Out Of Today

| USA | Right | December 26, 2015

(The lady in line in front of me is making a complaint to a confused cashier. The lady is complaining about the milk her grandson got with his breakfast meal. Her husband is sitting at a table nearby with her grandson lying on top of the table holding his stomach and moaning.)

Lady: *slams the EMPTY milk bottle on the counter* “Do you people know how to read dates? This milk is expired and now my grandson is sick! This is your fault. If I have to take him to the ER, I’m sending the bill to you!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am. You said the milk was expired? I checked it myself.”

Lady: “Well, you obviously don’t know what today’s date is then, idiot. Manager, now!”

Cashier: *literally running from the register* “Yes, ma’am!”

Lady: *turns to me* “These morons can’t get anything right. And they want $15 an hour!”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Lady: “That idiot gave my grandson expired milk. I demand all of my money back and I’m sending the ER bill here. It is obvious my grandson has food poisoning!”

Manager: *in a patient and calm tone* “Ma’am, what is today’s date?”

Lady: “You don’t know the date either? Morons leading morons! It is [today’s date].”

Manager: “And what’s the date on that milk?”

Lady: “It says [tomorrow’s date]. See, it is expired! It smelled bad and had chunks in it. My grandson is so sick. I demand my money back now. Hurry up so I can take him to the hospital.”

Manager: “Yeah, not going to happen. You don’t get to insult my cashier or me when you are the one that can’t figure out that tomorrow comes AFTER today. The milk doesn’t expire until tomorrow, meaning it is still good today. Your grandson drank all of it so it couldn’t have had a strange smell or texture. And your grandson is likely sick from the three doughnuts you let him eat in addition to the croissant and hash browns. Get out.”

(The lady is literally dragged out of the store by her husband who is also dragging their grandson by his coat.)

Me: “Wow. Some people just suck. Don’t worry, not everyone is an a**hole.”

(I dropped $1 in the tip jar immediately and was as kind as possible to the terrified cashier. When the manager handed me my meal, I found a note saying “Thanks for not being an a**-hole!” with an extra doughnut in the bag.)

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Not Quite The Cream Of The Crop, Part 4

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Right | October 15, 2015

(We have two doughnuts that look the same but are filled with different fillings. The only way to tell is to look at the holes where the fillings are put in.)

Customer: “I’ll have the choc iced cream, and she’ll have the choc iced custard.”

Me: *holds up doughnut so she can see the filling* “Okay, the choc iced cream is white in the middle and the—”

Customer: “Why is it white?”

Customer’s Daughter: “It’s cream. You wanted the cream one. I’m getting custard.”

Customer: “Oh, it has cream in the middle?”

Customer’s Daughter: “You asked for the cream one.”

Customer: “I just wanted a plain one. It didn’t say that the choc iced cream had anything in it!”

Related:
Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 3
Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2
Not The Cream Of The Crop

Your Greetings Are Getting Krisp

| Grand Rapids, MI, USA | Working | September 12, 2015

(I am the worker in this story. I have put in my two weeks notice and am winding down at my job. I had hurt my ankle and am on crutches so I am put on the drive-through lane, taking orders through a headset. I am bored and start to feel random so I begin greeting each car with increasingly insane greetings.)

Me: “Hello and welcome to [Store]. How can I put glaze on your dayz?”

(Later.)

Me: “Good afternoon and welcome to [Store], your one stop shop for doughnuts and a pop!”

(Later.)

Me: “Hi and welcome to [Store]. Remember there are no nuts in our doughnuts!”

(Later.)

Me: “Thank you for choosing [Store] for all your doughnut buying needs. What can I get for you?”

Filled With Creamy Justice

| USA | Right | July 18, 2014

Customer: “I’d like a donut.”

Me: “What kind would you like?”

Customer: *points out the donut* “But use tongs to pick it up.”

Me: “Tongs?”

Customer: “I don’t want anything touched by your white hands.”

Me: “Okay…”

(I use the tongs, and complete the sale.)

Customer: *takes bite of donut* “This is good.”

Me: “I made it fresh this morning. With my white hands.”

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Lousy In-Ten-tions

| New York, NY, USA | Working | May 9, 2014

(I’m very short, but otherwise look my age.)

Me: “I’ll have a hot chocolate, please.”

Cashier: “How old are you?”

Me: “I’m 19. Why?”

Cashier: “You look like a 10-year-old pretending to be a grownup.”

Me: “…”

Cashier: “When you’re my age, you’ll KILL to get a compliment like that!”

Me: “Um… thanks?”

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