Trying To Milk Some Tomorrow Out Of Today

| USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Popular

(The lady in line in front of me is making a complaint to a confused cashier. The lady is complaining about the milk her grandson got with his breakfast meal. Her husband is sitting at a table nearby with her grandson lying on top of the table holding his stomach and moaning.)

Lady: *slams the EMPTY milk bottle on the counter* “Do you people know how to read dates? This milk is expired and now my grandson is sick! This is your fault. If I have to take him to the ER, I’m sending the bill to you!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am. You said the milk was expired? I checked it myself.”

Lady: “Well, you obviously don’t know what today’s date is then, idiot. Manager, now!”

Cashier: *literally running from the register* “Yes, ma’am!”

Lady: *turns to me* “These morons can’t get anything right. And they want $15 an hour!”

Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

Lady: “That idiot gave my grandson expired milk. I demand all of my money back and I’m sending the ER bill here. It is obvious my grandson has food poisoning!”

Manager: *in a patient and calm tone* “Ma’am, what is today’s date?”

Lady: “You don’t know the date either? Morons leading morons! It is [today’s date].”

Manager: “And what’s the date on that milk?”

Lady: “It says [tomorrow’s date]. See, it is expired! It smelled bad and had chunks in it. My grandson is so sick. I demand my money back now. Hurry up so I can take him to the hospital.”

Manager: “Yeah, not going to happen. You don’t get to insult my cashier or me when you are the one that can’t figure out that tomorrow comes AFTER today. The milk doesn’t expire until tomorrow, meaning it is still good today. Your grandson drank all of it so it couldn’t have had a strange smell or texture. And your grandson is likely sick from the three doughnuts you let him eat in addition to the croissant and hash browns. Get out.”

(The lady is literally dragged out of the store by her husband who is also dragging their grandson by his coat.)

Me: “Wow. Some people just suck. Don’t worry, not everyone is an a**hole.”

(I dropped $1 in the tip jar immediately and was as kind as possible to the terrified cashier. When the manager handed me my meal, I found a note saying “Thanks for not being an a**-hole!” with an extra doughnut in the bag.)

Not Quite The Cream Of The Crop, Part 4

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We have two doughnuts that look the same but are filled with different fillings. The only way to tell is to look at the holes where the fillings are put in.)

Customer: “I’ll have the choc iced cream, and she’ll have the choc iced custard.”

Me: *holds up doughnut so she can see the filling* “Okay, the choc iced cream is white in the middle and the—”

Customer: “Why is it white?”

Customer’s Daughter: “It’s cream. You wanted the cream one. I’m getting custard.”

Customer: “Oh, it has cream in the middle?”

Customer’s Daughter: “You asked for the cream one.”

Customer: “I just wanted a plain one. It didn’t say that the choc iced cream had anything in it!”

Related:
Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 3
Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2
Not The Cream Of The Crop

Filled With Creamy Justice

| USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

Customer: “I’d like a donut.”

Me: “What kind would you like?”

Customer: *points out the donut* “But use tongs to pick it up.”

Me: “Tongs?”

Customer: “I don’t want anything touched by your white hands.”

Me: “Okay…”

(I use the tongs, and complete the sale.)

Customer: *takes bite of donut* “This is good.”

Me: “I made it fresh this morning. With my white hands.”

Doesn’t Know Rudimentary Rudeness

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Wild & Unruly

(I come in several times a week, and most of the cashiers recognize me. Since I work retail myself, I’m always extra-careful to use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when I order. One cold day, I pop in for a cup of coffee on my way to work.)

Me: “Hi, may I please have a medium caramel latte?”

Cashier: “Skim milk, right?”

Me: “Yes please!”

(There is another customer behind me; I can hear her talking but am tuned out since I don’t know her, and I assume she’s on the phone. Suddenly she grabs the sleeve of my coat and yanks, pulling me off-balance so I have to catch myself on the counter.)

Customer: “HEY! I’m talking to you!”

Me: *totally rattled* “Don’t touch me. What do you want?”

Customer: “I was going to say I like your coat, you stupid b****, but you’re the rudest thing ever, ignoring me!”

(I am flabbergasted, but then the cashier jumps in.)

Cashier: “She not rude, you’re rude! Don’t touch people! You need to leave now!”

(The woman starts ranting and raving and we all just stare at her until she leaves.)

Me: “That was awesome!” *leaves a big tip* “Thanks, see you tomorrow!”

It Isn’t The Coffee That Is Bitter

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(Our store serves mostly older customers and families. We promote a very friendly atmosphere, calling customers ‘hon’ and the like. An older customer comes in for a coffee.)

Me: “Hi welcome to—”

Customer: “I want a large hot coffee, with two creamers, and six sugars, and nothing else. And I want the senior discount.”

Me: “Of course. After your discount, it comes to $2.06.”

Customer: “Add the senior discount.”

Me: “I already did, ma’am. Before the discount it was $2.29.”

(The customer gestures to another customer.)

Customer: “He got his for less. Why are you overcharging me?”

Me: “He works here; it’s just his day off. The employee discount is different than the senior discount.”

Customer: “Well, okay. So I owe you $1.73?”

Me: “No, $2.06. The $1.73 on your screen is before tax. Right below that you should see $2.06.”

Customer: “Thirty cents in taxes!?! I’m not paying that much!”

Me: “I can’t control how much tax is ma’am. Here, how about I buy your coffee today.”

Customer: “Two creamers, six sugars.”

(I make her coffee, and she takes it outside. Less than two minutes later, she returns, fuming.)

Customer: “This is so bitter!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I can add some sugar for you.”

Customer: “How many did you put in?”

Me: “Six.”

Customer: “I only want six. Don’t put any more in.”

Me: “Okay, would you like non-sugar sweetener?”

Customer: “No! Just make my coffee sweeter!”

Me: “Hun, I don’t know how to make your coffee sweeter without adding anything to it.”

Customer: “I want a refund! You’re terrible!”

Me: “Your coffee was free. I can’t give you a refund on something free.”

Customer: “I want my money back! Get me your manager!”

(I got my manager, explaining everything. Eventually she ended up giving the customer a voucher for two free coffees, but not before I was called a “stupid, fat c***”.)

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