An Answer That Isn’t Cheating

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Health & Body

(I am at the first appointment with my new family practitioner when he asks me one of those awkward questions that you don’t expect and don’t have any idea how to answer… except you don’t want to outright lie to your doctor. So, I say the first thing that pops into my head…)

Doctor: “Have you been sexually active within the last six months?”

Me: “Uh… not with anyone else?”

His Humor Is A Bit Rusty

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, One-Liners

(A patient arrives at the reception desk with some paperwork.)

Patient: “So, what do I do with this?”

Me: “This is for some bloodwork. You need to take it to the lab, but you need to have been fasting. That means you can’t eat or drink anything but water for 12 hours before you get your blood drawn.”

Patient: “Oh, I never drink water. It makes me rust!”

(The patient then walks away like a robot going ‘squeak, squeak.’ Thank you, sir, for making me laugh! I’d had a crazy day and really needed it!)

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4

| Rotherham, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(The pregnancy clinic is running at the same time as normal GP hours. The waiting room contains three pregnant women, including myself, and a tiny very old lady.)

Old Lady: “Why is SHE going in now? I was here first!”

Receptionist: “She’s seeing the midwife.”

Old Lady: “But I was here first!”

Receptionist: “Yes, but the midwife only deals with pregnant ladies.”

Old Lady: “ARE YOU SAYING I’M NOT A LADY?!”

Receptionist: “No, but you aren’t pregnant are you?”

Old Lady: “I don’t see how that’s any of your business!”

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2
Cause For Pregnant Pause

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