What A Bunny Misunderstanding

, , , , , | Healthy | April 23, 2021

This happened when I was in high school in the 1970s. We had just finished our production of “Harvey” and had gone to the local twenty-four-hour chain restaurant. We were all still in costume and, as I played the sanitarium assistant, I was wearing what appeared to be medical-type clothing. As I walked into the restaurant, a little behind my fellow cast members, a guy came up to me.

Guy: “Is everyone in the accident all right?”

I had no clue why he asked me that, so I just looked at him and said:

Me: “I don’t know.”

And I went to join everybody.

As I sat down, I noticed that there were cops and an ambulance a few blocks down the street. That’s when it hit me: he thought I was a real ambulance attendant! 

I can only imagine what he thought, a first responder going into a restaurant when there were injured people to deal with. My other thought was, “I’m sixteen; do I look like an adult to you?”

My fellow cast members thought it was funny.

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Forgot Her HIPAA-Cratic Oath

, , , , , | Right | April 21, 2021

I’m a provider phone representative for an insurance company. I take calls from providers’ offices verifying benefits and claim status for their patients. Usually, you’re talking to the people at the front desk, almost never the doctors, but today I get a call from an actual doctor. After I verify her tax ID:

Doctor: “I’d like to check benefits for a patient, [Patient].”

Me: “Sure! Could I have his member ID, please?”

Doctor: “It’s [ID].”

The patient doesn’t come up. I ask her to spell his name, and I try looking him up that way. No matter what I do, I can’t find him. This doctor is losing her mind.

Me: “Are you sure he’s with [Our Company]?”

Doctor: “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! YES, HE IS! HOW CAN YOU NOT BE ABLE TO FIND HIM?!”

Me: “Doctor [Last Name], I’ve tried everything, and he’s just not found. I don’t know what else to tell you other than speak to him.”

The doctor rants and raves for another minute, and then, abruptly:

Doctor: “Wait, is this [Other Health Insurance Company]?”

Me: “No, this is [Our Company].”

Doctor: “Oh. I called the wrong insurance.” *Click*

No apology for her mistake or her behavior. Bearing her tantrum and wonderful listening skills in mind — I had TOLD her what insurance company she had called — it was more than a little ironic that she was a psychologist. Doctor, heal thyself.

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The Squeaky Migraine Gets The Grease

, , , , , , | Healthy | March 25, 2021

Despite the fact that I’m at very high risk of death from a certain health-crisis-related illness, I’m unable to get a vaccine since my state has not prioritized people like me. I complain about this to anyone who brings it up.

Upon the third day of waking up with a migraine, I go to urgent care where there is also a vaccine site. For their records, they ask if I’ve gotten the vaccine yet. I proceed with my usual rant about it even though I feel terrible. After two different injections for the migraine, I finally feel better and go home. 

That afternoon the physician’s assistant I saw earlier calls me. The vaccine clinic has extra doses and she offers to hold one for me if I can be there in half an hour. Of course, I say yes and race back there. 

And that’s the story of my two visits to urgent care in one day, three shots, a very nice and caring PA, and the only time I’ve ever been happy to have a three-day migraine.

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Why Do We Even Have Those Things?

, , , , | Healthy | March 22, 2021

I am the author of this story. I have another story that involves my sweet-tempered and loving son. We are at the doctor’s office. My son has a condition where the usual treatment is penicillin, which he is highly allergic to. The doctor comes in, asks some questions, and then walks out to get some medicine and a needle.

The doctor walks back in, grabs an alcohol wipe, and starts swabbing my son with it, and then she starts to edge the needle close to him. 

Son: “Um, what is that?”

Doctor: “Oh, it’s just penicillin. Nothing to worry about.”

My son pulls his arm away, and I am instantly ticked.

Me: “He can’t have penicillin! He’s allergic!”

Doctor: “Well, sorry! How was I supposed to know?”

Son: “It’s on my chart!”

Doctor: “It’s not my job to look at that!”

Me: “What the f*** is your job, then?!”

Our shouting brought another doctor into the room, and when he heard the story, he told the first doctor to wait in his office. He gave my son a different treatment option, which we took. We switched to him shortly after, and now that previous doctor glares at us every time we go there!

Related:
That Part Of The Body NEVER Made Men Wise

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We Hope This Story Goes Viral!

, , , | Healthy | March 18, 2021

I’m seeing a gynaecologist at a private clinic because the general polyclinics in Singapore don’t have the specific type of birth control I want. The doctor is a woman and seems okay on the first visit.

Doctor: “And what do you do for a living?”

Me: “I’m a virologist; I work for a vaccine development company.”

On the second visit, she tries to hard-sell me the HPV vaccine. In many countries, it’s given to teenagers for free, but it’s very expensive to buy out of pocket privately.

Me: “I don’t think I need it because I’m married and my husband didn’t have any sex partners before.”

Doctor: “No, but once you become sexually active, the HPV can fly through the air and infect you at any time.”

This is complete nonsense; HPV is not airborne.

Me: “Remember last time when I said I’m a virologist working in vaccine research and development?”


This story is part of our Best Of March 2021 roundup!

Read the next Best Of March 2021 roundup story!

Read the Best Of March 2021 roundup!

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