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An Inappropriate Touchdown

| Right | January 7, 2014

(I’m ordering a personalized plate for the customer. I ask the customer what he wants on the license plate.)

Customer: “I’m a Colts fan. What about COLTFAN?”

Me: “I’ll check… Seems to be taken.”

Customer: “Hmm… What about CLTFAN?”

Me: *blushing* “Well, I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

Customer: “What? Oh! Um, just a regular plate. Sorry about that.”

You Can Harley Believe It

| Working | August 22, 2013

(I’m trying to renew my license at the DMV, and I’m at the last window that I have to go to. Over the last few hours, I’ve waited in many lines, had my picture taken, and passed the written exam. I am not trying to get a motorcycle endorsement, just a normal license.)

Employee: “You have most of the necessary documents, but I don’t see the exam for your motorcycle endorsement.”

Me: “What motorcycle endorsement?”

Employee: “Oh, and it seems you haven’t taken the motorcycle driving test either. You’ll have to schedule that and come back another day.”

Me: “But I—”

Employee: “I’m sorry, but we can’t just give you a motorcycle endorsement if you haven’t passed the test.”

Me: “I don’t want a motorcycle endorsement.”

Employee: “That doesn’t matter. You still have to take the test.”

Me: “I just want a normal license. I don’t have a motorcycle.”

Employee: “Ma’am, I understand, but you have to take the test if you want a motorcycle endorsement.”

Me: “I don’t want one.”

(The manager walks up.)

Manager: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Employee: “She wants me to give her a motorcycle endorsement without taking the test.”

Me: “No, I’m just trying to renew my license. My normal license that has nothing to do with motorcycles.”

Manager: *to employee* “None of these documents say anything about a motorcycle. Why are you processing this as a motorcycle endorsement?”

Employee: “I thought it—”

Manager: “Never mind, just go help someone at the next window. I’ll take care of this.”

(Luckily, that means processing everything in a few minutes and giving me my temporary license.)

Attention Detention

| Right | January 30, 2013

(I work at the DMV. I’m easily the youngest employee working this day, and I am helping a middle aged man who is more or less ignoring me.)

Me: “You’re renewing your license today, sir?”

Customer: “Yes! I have to take a written test!”

(He mutters to himself and idly plays with his phone while I type.)

Me: “And your address is still [address]?”

Customer: “I already said I need to take a written test! Why are they letting a child work here?! Kids your age clearly cannot pay attention!”

Me: “Sir, I was asking if your address is still the same.”

Customer: *red faced* “Let me speak with your supervisor!”

(Her desk is right behind me, so she stands up and takes the two steps to be in my window.)

Customer: “This young girl is so rude! She offended me.”

Supervisor: “Try and pay attention when someone is speaking with you. And no cell phones out while at a window—state security policy.”

Customer: *gets even redder*

Moving Not Improving

| Right | October 29, 2012

(I am waiting at the DMV to transfer my out-of-state license. Things are moving relatively smoothly until a gentleman of about 65-70 years old is called to the window.)

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to renew my license.”

Employee: Alright, sir.” *takes his paperwork* “And are you still living at the address on your current license?”

Customer: “Yes, but I’m going to be moving within the month.”

Employee: “Okay. Well, I can see that your license is still valid for a little over a month, so you can just wait to renew it until you move. If we renew it for you today, then in couple weeks when you move, you will have to contact the state to change the address, and then come to us for a new printed license, which will cost you $5.”

Customer: “But, I just want to renew my license.”

Employee: “Yes, and we can do that for you, but as I said, you will then have to go through the hassle of contacting the state when you move and paying more money for a new license. If you are moving within the month, your current license will still be valid, so you might want to wait until then.”

Customer: “No, I just want to do it today.”

Employee: “Alright then… and you do understand that it will cost you $5 to get a new license when you move?”

Customer: “Yes, yes.”

(The employee obliges and they go through the eye test, photo, etc. They are finally finished.)

Customer: “So, what happens when I move?”

Go Directly To Jail, Do Not Pass Test

, , , , | Right | May 7, 2009

(My mom and I are leaving from the place where I took the test to get my driver’s license when we see another car drive-in. A man steps out of the car and talks to the lady in charge of giving the driver’s test. )

Driver: “I’m here to take my driver’s test.”

Employee: “Who drove you here?”

Driver: “I drove myself.”

Employee: “You drove yourself here to take the test to get your driver’s license?”

Driver: “Yes.”

Employee: “That could be a problem…”

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