(I live an a pretty diverse neighborhood. I have just gotten into the line at the DMV, when a woman gets in line behind me. We are the only two white people in the short line, which we will get through within five minutes.)

Her: *whispering to me* “Don’t you just wish that immigration control would storm in and shorten this line up for us?”

(I turn to see her smiling at me, waiting for me to respond in agreement.)

Me: “I’m not too concerned about how long the line is. I’m just bothered I have to deal with a racist old bag while I wait.”

(She scoffed and looked away. She spent the remainder of the wait muttering to herself about how she would have to pay for all the insurance for THOSE people, and that they were just going to end up running over white kids.)

(I am at the DMV to renew my driver’s license… and it is MOBBED. There is a line of roughly 20 cars circling round-and-round the lot looking for a space to park. There is one car parked to the side with the four-way flashers on. I pass her several times, as does everyone else in line. When a spot opens up, I take it. I get out, and she pulls up.)

Driver: “Didn’t you see me?! I was waiting for a spot!”

Me: “We were all waiting for a spot. You were parked off to the side.”

Driver: “Well, that’s my spot!”

Me: “Sorry.” *casually walks inside*

(I was not sorry. When you see 20 other cars in a line, circling a parking lot, looking and waiting for a space to open up… you get in line and hope for the best. You don’t park off to the side and assume someone’s going to say, “Oh…that lady back there…maybe she was waiting for a spot. I’ll just go ahead and leave it for her.”)

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(I’m at the Department of Motor Vehicles renewing my driver’s license when this occurs.)

DMV Employee #1: “Okay, so that’ll be $16, and you can pay by cash or check.”

(A door opens and a second DMV employee leans their head out.)

DMV Employee #2: “[DMV Employee #1], if I have 180 quarters, how many dollars is that?”

DMV Employee: #1: *speechless*

Me: *speechless*

DMV Employee #2: “I mean, like, do you times it by four?”

DMV Employee #1: *speechless*

Me: “45 dollars. It’s… 45 dollars.”

DMV Employee #2: “Oh, okay.” *exits*

Me: “Was that for real?”

DMV Employee #1: “Unfortunately… yes.”

Me: “Oh, jeez, I’m sorry.”

DMV Employee #1: “It’s even worse… That’s the manager!”

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(I am in line at the DMV getting my new tags for 2015.)

Customer: “I would like to renew my driver’s license, please.”

Lady: “Sure, just let me see your card.”

(The man hands her his license and she enters some numbers into the computer.)

Lady: “Sir, your license expired in 1998. Have you been driving with it since then?”

Customer: “Wait, they expire? I thought you just had to get a new picture! Well, what are you going to do, arrest me?”

(A police officer steps out of line.)

Officer: “Yes, as a matter of fact, I will arrest you for driving without a valid license.”

(The officer arrested the man and took him off to his car and drove away.)

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(I overhear this story while waiting in line.)

Woman #1: “On Monday I dressed up my daughter for the 100th Day thing”

Woman #2: “Hundred Day?”

Woman #1: “Yes. It was the 100th day of the school year. They sent home a letter the week before explaining it. They were celebrating by having the kids bring in 100 of anything; pennies, candies, bits of cereal. You know, as a visual to see what 100 looks like.”

Woman #2: “I see. That’s cute.”

Woman #1: “And this year they were doing a parallel to 100 years because our town is 100 years old this year. Kids were encouraged to dress up as if they were 100 years old. So, I put her in a long dress with an apron, put her hair up in a bun, and gave her a bonnet. I even drew wrinkles on her face.”

Woman #2: “Oh that sounds adorable. I bet she was quite a hit. You are such a good mother.”

Woman #1: “Well, not so much. The 100th Day celebration was Tuesday.”