In The Queue In The Queue

| Right | August 23, 2016

(A customer is on the phone when he comes up to the cash register.)

Customer: “I’m really sorry, I know how rude it is that I’m on the phone, but I’ve been on hold for such a long time I don’t want to lose my place in the queue.”

Me: *surprised, since this is the first time anyone has apologized for being on the phone* “Oh, that’s totally fine! I actually really appreciate that you acknowledged that.”

(He only has a couple of items so I ring him up pretty quickly.)

Customer: “Thanks, have a great day!”

Me: “You, too, and may you not be on hold much longer!”

(He laughs and leaves the store. The next customer approaches my register.)

Customer #2: “I can’t believe he was on his phone! That’s so rude!”

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She’s Saigon Crazy

| Right | April 25, 2016

(After assisting an elder woman pick out a watch from our display case, I proceed to take her to my register to ring up the rest of her order. I scan the watch first then go to put it in a bag when she stops me.)

Customer: “Oh, could I put that in my purse instead?”

Me: “Sure.” *hands her the watch*

Customer: *takes a closer look at the box, then frowns* “Oh. Oh this is made in China. I can’t buy this.”

Me: “That’s fine. I’ll just take it off then.”

(I remove the watch from the transaction and continue scanning her items.)

Customer: *continuing* “I only buy American you see. Or if I can’t, I’ll get it for lots of money off.”

(The last item she has is a medium sized ceramic pot. As I scan it I look inside it.)

Me: “It’s made in Vietnam, ma’am.”

Customer: *thinks this over, and then smiles* “Oh, that’s okay, then. My husband shot lots of people over there. Besides, I’m only going to use it for flowers anyway.”

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It’s A Crappy Color Anyway

| Right | February 12, 2016

(A woman approaches me in the pets department and asks to see all of our litter boxes. I oblige her.)

Customer: “No, no, these are all pink. I need a BLUE litter box.”

Customer’s Husband: “Honey…”

Customer: “He’s a BOY CAT. He can’t have a PINK litter box!”

Customer’s Husband: “He’s literally going to CRAP in it!”

(They began to argue so I just walked away.)

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Just A Normal Day In The Republic

| Right | October 2, 2015

(I’m at the register when an older gentleman wearing an USMC cap walks briskly into the store. He asks if we still have our jumbo-sized eggs. I tell him yes and point him in the direction. The conversation happens while I’m cashing him out.)

Customer: “Do you have children?”

Me: “No, I do not.”

Customer: “Are you married?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Good. When you decide to have children, take it slow. Make sure you do it right.”

Me: “Okay… I will…?”

Customer: “What does your husband do?”

Me: “He works here in the store.”

Customer: “Oh, good. In the meantime, make sure he’s baptized and votes Republican. Have a good day now.”

Me: “You, too…” *to myself after customer walks out the door* “Did that really just happen?”

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This Is A Good Sign

| Right | September 1, 2015

Cashier: “Please note that underwear cannot be returned for hygienic reasons.”

Me: “I know; there were signs all over the display.”

Cashier: *short silence* “Wow, I think you might be the first customer to ever read those.”

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