We have a policy in the bakery that police, firefighters, EMTs, etc. get their first item free. So if a cop comes in for a slice of pie and a drip coffee, we’ll charge him a buck for the coffee and get the pie for free, or if a paramedic comes in and wants half a dozen donuts, we’ll only charge him for five, whatever.

You have to have proof. Most people take advantage when they’re on the clock/just got off, so we don’t even bother asking them because uniforms, but everyone has some sort of ID that they can flash when they’re not, so it’s a non-issue. 

One day we have a cop come through, full uniform, and we give him a slice of cake and a latte. He’s one of our regulars, so I talk to him for a bit, he asks after my business partner, I ask about what his shifts have been like, the usual.

He goes to sit down, and this couple asks:

Customers: “How come he got only got charged $3?”

I tell them our policy.

Customers: “Oh, well I’m a cop and he is a detective in [Small City In Our State].”

Me: “That’s cool, but we only have the policy open to people who work in our city and the surrounding areas.”

Customers: “Oh my God! That’s so unfair! We put our lives on the line just the same as any other cop! Where’s your manager?”

Me: “I am the owner.”

Customers: “No way you’re the owner! You’re lying!”

As this has got loud, my cop buddy stands up and comes over to speak to this couple.

Officer: “Can I see your badges?”

They both sputter about it for a minute or two, making excuses.

Officer: *Firmly.* “Can I see your badges?”

Customers: “We… left them at home.”

Officer: “Can I see any ID proving that you are who you say you are?”

Customers: “You don’t have the right to ask us that?!”

Officer: *Looks at me.* “They’re lying about who they say they are; don’t serve them.”

Customers: “Fine, we’ll pay regular price. Stupid discount anyway!”

Officer: “Not as stupid as lying about being a police officer in front of a police officer.”

They suddenly go pale and leave. The officer takes a photo of them and their car on his phone.

Me: “Isn’t what they did a felony?”

Officer: “Yup.”

Me: “Aren’t you going to arrest them?”

Officer: “And delay my cake?!”

My officer buddy did call those customers in on his radio as he sat down for cake, and informed me that they would be dealt with.

I work in a cheap and quick diner. A customer orders a bowl of soup to go. We are very busy, and currently out of the type of soup she wants.

Me: “That’s going to be a fifteen-minute wait.”

Customer: “I need it quicker!”

Me: “It takes at least ten minutes to heat up the soup.”

Customer: “Just prepare it and put it in the microwave.”

We agree to do this but two minutes later she asks me where her soup is. Two minutes later, she asks again. Two minutes later, same deal.

Customer: “Where’s my soup?”

Me: “It’s in the microwave, ma’am, but it will take a little longer.”

Customer: “Make the microwave go faster!”

Okay, well, whatever. I pull it a little early, and it’s still cold, but at this point, I don’t care. I portion out her soup.

Our to-go soup containers are taller and narrower than the in-house bowls, which are flat and wide; the volume of soup remains consistent between the two containers. I know this because the portion size is two whole ladles, regardless of the container.

I bring this customer her soup, and she immediately protests:

Customer: “You haven’t given me enough soup! I’m not going to pay the same price for less soup, just because I’m taking it to go!”

I attempt to explain that this is the same size soup, just in a different container. She stares at me the entire time with this suspicious look on her face, like she thinks I’m trying to pull a fast one on her.

Customer: “But the bowls in house are bigger.”

Me: “They’re wider, but this bowl is taller.”

After a few minutes, she eventually takes her soup. Shows back up half an hour later.

Customer: “It’s cold.”

I’m so glad I don’t work there anymore…

Related:
No Soup For You! Part 9
No Soup For You! Part 8
No Soup For You! Part 7
No Soup For You! Part 6
No Soup For You! Part 5

CONTENT WARNING: Implications of racist violence

This happened in 2013 when I first moved to South Carolina from New York. I was naive when it came to racist terms because where I am from, these things weren’t a problem like they are here.

I had just gotten a job at a small local diner. One night, we were close to closing, and I only had two tables. One was a very sweet and respectful POC family that included a mom, a dad, two teens, and a child about nine. The other group was three guys who looked like they had just gotten done hunting.

The guys kept talking about coon hunting, and my naive self thought they literally meant they had been hunting for raccoons. I heard one say, “Well, it looks like we don’t have to go very far to finish up our coon hunting,” and they all started to laugh. The sweet family kept looking at them and just had these horribly sad expressions on their faces, and the kids looked like they were in tears.

That is when it clicked what was going on.

The three guys had not gotten their plates yet. I walked over to them and told them that they would not be getting their food, nor would they EVER get served as long as I was there. I told them if they didn’t get their scumbag a**es out of my diner, I would have them escorted out. They tried to say they didn’t mean what I thought they did, but they clearly did, and they finally left.

The POC family thanked me over and over, and I apologized profusely for not realizing what was happening sooner, but I was from NY and was not familiar with racist terms like that. They tipped me a fifty-dollar bill that I didn’t want to take, but they insisted, and they returned often as long as I was there. They refused any other server besides me, which made me feel wonderful.

I am blown away how scumbags like those three still exist in this world!

My bosses are horrible people, so I just knew I was going to get fired, but surprisingly, they told me I had done the right thing and were not upset at all.

Right after I got out of the Army, I worked at a fast-food/diner place for a few months. One of the items on the menu was a roast beef sandwich.

As most of the menu items were burgers, they went through a flame broiler. The roast beef sandwich was heated in a microwave, though. I was working the night shift.

Customer: “I want the roast beef, but you better not microwave it! You gonna heat that in the broiler for me.”

Me: “Well, given the thinness and type of meat that’s going to be impossible to do.”

Customer: “Make it possible.”

Me: “Why do you not want it microwaved?”

Customer: “Because microwaves are made by nuclear energy, and radiation will make me sick!”

I am about to tell him how microwaves really work, when I catch my manager’s gaze. She subtly shakes her head no. I walked around to where the cook is.

Manager: *Whispering.* “What’s going on.?”

Me: “He needs his roast beef cooked in the broiler.”

Manager: “Okay.”

He then fiddles at the back of the broiler for a few seconds and says:

Manager: “Roast beef is in.”

He then puts the sandwich in the microwave and heats it. I then served it to him. 

A few days later, he comes back in and orders another one. Once again, I make a big show of making his sandwich special.

Me: “Does flame-broiled taste better than a microwaved one?”

Customer: “Oh, yeah. I can taste the difference!”

Yeah… sure you can, dude.

Related:
Placebo Me, Part 8
Placebo Me, Part 7
Placebo Me, Part 6
Placebo Me, Part 5
Placebo Me, Part 4

I work in a chain diner that’s known for being open 24/7. Today is New Year’s Eve.

Customer: “Will you be open tonight?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “All night?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Even through midnight?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Customer: “Haha, sucks to be you!”

Me: “Actually, my shift finishes at six.”

Customer: *Disappointed.* “Oh…”

Me: “Did you come in here just to flex on someone who has to work over New Year?”

Customer: “You make it sound like it’s bad.”

Me: “Well it’s not exactly cool.”

Customer: “Can I speak to your manager?”

Wanting to wash my hands of this I bring my manager over. They talk for less than a minute and then my manager comes over and looks confused.

Manager: “He just asked me if I was working at New Year’s. When I said yes he just said “sucks to be you”.”

Me: “Yeah he tried that with me, too. Did you say anything?”

Manager: “Yeah, I told him if the only joy he gets in the world is to come into diners and laugh at people who have to work on a holiday then it very much sucks more to be him. He just walked out after that…”

Related:
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 33
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 32
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 31
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 30
Some People Just Want To Watch The World Burn, Part 29