Customer: “Fries and… two sunny side up eggs without yolks.”
Me: “Uh… sunny side up just means the eggs are only cooked on one side and never flipped. The yolk is the ‘sun’ in the sunny side.”
Customer: “Can I have sunny side up but like… a total eclipse?”
We ended up scooping out the yolk and replacing it with BBQ sauce.
An adult and English-speaking locally-accented customer asks me:
Customer: “What time do you close?”
I stifle a laugh.
Customer: “What’s so funny?”
Me: “I’m sorry, but there are no less than seven ’24-hour’ signs on the front of the store as you walk in.”
Customer: “Yeah, I saw those.”
Me: “So we’re open for twenty-four hours.”
Customer: “I’m not asking what hours you’re open I’m asking when you close.”
Me: “We don’t. We’re open for twenty-four hours.”
Customer: “And then you close?”
Me: “There are twenty-four hours in a day, and we’re open for all of them.”
Customer: “There are only twelve hours in a day.”
Me: “No, it’s twenty-four.”
Customer: *Pointing at the clock.* “It ends at twelve! See?!”
Me: “Twelve hours in the morning and twelve in the afternoon. I’m sorry but how can you not know this?”
Customer: “There are twelve hours in the day of our lord, and then there are the twelve night hours for the devil and we need to stay home in those hours.”
Me: “…what?”
Customer: “You still haven’t answered my question.”
Me: “…I …I don’t think I can.”
The customer just rolls her eyes and leaves the diner. A customer eating at the counter says:
Counter Customer: “This is why I’m against homeschooling…”
Super Storm Sandy had just blown through, and we were literally the only restaurant left with electricity for miles. I wasn’t even scheduled to work that day, but they were slammed, so I got called in.
I had literally just walked through the door and was taking my coat off when this entitled jack-a** approached me.
Customer: “You! I’ve been waiting five minutes for someone to take my order!”
Me: “We’re extremely busy, as you can see. Someone will be with you soon.”
That wasn’t good enough for him and he started to get loud.
Customer: “How incompetent are you all that you can’t handle a small crowd?!”
My manager comes storming over.
Manager: “Nope. Not today. Not dealing with this bull-s*** today. You can leave. We have regular menus and children’s menus but no man-baby menus so you can go eat somewhere else.”
Customer: “You’re the only place open for miles!”
Manager: “Exactly. Go have fun realizing how badly you f***ed this up. Out. Now.”
The shift could have been awful but decent management saved it!
Related:
A Hurricane Of Entitlement
I work at a roadside diner near part of the freeway that crosses into Massachusetts and heads towards Boston. This is before the age of Google Maps and Sat-Navs in cars, so a customer is finishing a meal and asks me:
Customer: “From here, how much longer until Boston?”
Me: “Not far, since you’re practically on the border of Massachusetts.”
Customer: “Border of where?”
Me: “The state of Massachusetts. It’s less than ten miles from here.”
Customer: “Why are you pronouncing it like that?”
Me: “Like what?”
Customer: “Wrong. It’s massive-two-s***s.”
Me: “Haha, that’s a good one.”
Customer: “What’s a good one?”
Me: “That joke?”
Customer: “What joke?”
Me: “…It’s about [short drive time] to Boston from here.”
Customer: “Thanks. Next time listen more carefully.”
I am working at a diner that’s very close to the USA/Mexico border. It’s September 15th and some college-age guys are getting some food on their way south.
Customer #1: “I’ll get the tacos.”
Customer #2: “Dude, in a couple of hours we’ll be in Mexico. Get the real Mexican food later.”
[Customer #2] then looks over at me as I have approached to take their orders.
Customer #2: “No offence.”
Me: “Oh, none taken! Mexican food in Mexico will always be better! You heading down there for the celebrations?”
Customer #1: “What celebrations?”
Me: “Tomorrow is Mexican Independence Day.”
Customer #1: “No, that’s July 4th.”
Me: “Uh… no, that’s our Independence Day.”
Customer #2: “I thought Mexican Independence Day was Cinco De Mayo.”
Me: “No, it’s September 16th. Cinco De Mayo traditionally commemorates the Battle of Puebla, but it’s not widely celebrated in Mexico. Honestly, it’s more celebrated over here with tequila and Mexican food.”
Customer #1: “Wait… so there are other Independence Days?”
Me: “Yup!”
Customer #1: “That’s so stupid. The Mexicans see that we got a good thing going, and then they wanna copy it…”
Me: “So… are you ready to order?”
Customer #1: “Texan-style cheese tacos, please!”
Related:
Taco No No
