Caught With Their Pants Down, Part 3

| Right | December 16, 2016

Me: *to a coworker* “Can I make a public service announcement for our drive-thru customers?”

Coworker: “Saying what?”

Me: “You don’t realize it but… I can see all the trash piled up in your car floors. I can also see that you’re not wearing any pants.”

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Started Shakey But Ended Shakey

| Working | July 17, 2016

(My grandmother and I go to a diner while at an anime convention. Due to the con, a biker event that week, and the diner being close to a resort, it’s packed. We finally get seated after a bit of a wait.)

Waitress: “I’m sorry about the wait. Your food might take a bit longer as well.”

Me: “Oh, it’s no problem! Nothing you guys can really do about the crowd.”

(We order our food along with our drinks, so they can get it in the kitchen faster. After another wait, the waitress brings out our food. She’s visibly stressed, and probably near tears.)

Waitress: “Sorry about the wait. Here you go!

Grandmother: “Oh, that was quicker than we expected! You guys are doing great!”

Me: “Thank you so much! I really hope nobody’s giving you grief over the crowd and waiting times.”

(She smiles, and goes off to help the other tables. After eating, we order milkshakes. When we get the receipt to pay, we realize she didn’t charge us for the shakes.)

Me: “Excuse me, I think you made a mistake. The milkshakes aren’t on here.”

Waitress: “I know. You guys have made this whole mess a little bit better, so I figured it’d be a small reward. Have a great day!”

(We left her a $20 tip on a $15 meal.)

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Sub-Standard Sub-Service, Part 5

| Working | June 3, 2016

(My coworker and I order lunch from a local diner in the small village where we work. We pick up our food and return to the office to eat.)

Coworker: “What did you order for me?”

Me: “A veggie wrap with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, and black olives. Why? What did you get?”

Coworker: “A wrap with cheese, onions, and black olives. That’s it; there’s nothing else in here.”

(As we try to figure out what went wrong with my coworker’s order, I open my dinner.)

Me: “Guess what?! They made mine wrong as well. I ordered shredded roast beef, and this is pork!”

(We called the diner, thinking that maybe we had accidentally been given someone else’s food.)

Diner Owner: “Well, we were really busy and ran out of a few things, so we just kind of threw together a wrap and substituted pork. It’s fine. We even gave you extras!”

Me: “Actually, we have less food. I just realized you forgot my green beans too.”

(I’m sticking to packing my own lunch from now on.)

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Chipping Away At Those Cultural Differences

| Right | April 29, 2016

(Some of my extended family from Ireland have come over to the US for a cross-country road trip. My one cousin is obsessed with French fries, which are called “chips” over there.)

Cousin: “Can I have some chips?”

Server: “Oh, I’m sorry we don’t have potato chips.”

Aunt: “He means ‘French fries,’ sorry!”

(Whether he just never clued in or refused to change what he called them, he never said French fries. When they finally get back to the east coast before flying home, we’re having dinner with them when this happens.)

Cousin: “Can I have chips with that?”

Waitress: “Of course!”

(We were thinking the waitress just recognized their accent and knew the difference in terms; turned out when the food arrived, alongside his hamburger was a giant mound of made-on-premises, freshly fried, potato chips! We got a good laugh out of it, and thankfully they were tasty, too!)

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Trying To Recoup With Soup

, | Working | April 28, 2016

(I had decided to go to a local 24/7 diner for supper. After being seated and placing my order, I am waiting patiently when Head Waitress comes up to me.)

Head Waitress: “Sir, I’m sorry, but there’s been a delay in your order. Would you like some soup? We have chicken noodle, broccoli and cheese, Italian Wedding, chicken noodle…” *she mentioned chicken noodle two more times*

Me: “No, thanks, I’m good.”

Head Waitress: “Please, at least for me? Have some soup, or salad?”

Me: “How about some cheese sticks?”

Head Waitress: “I’m sorry, can’t do that. I can give you a bowl of soup or salad. Soup or salad?”

Me: *laughing* “Okay, I’ll have the broccoli and cheese soup.”

Head Waitress: “Very good, and again, I’m sorry for the delay.”

Me: “Not your fault. I know you’re slammed at the moment.”

(They were. There was a large party of about 15, a family in one section of the restaurant, and just about every other table or booth was full.)

Head Waitress: *over her shoulder* “Thank you!”

(I waited a few more minutes, rolling up the little paper band they wrap around the utensils, singing along to The Beatles’ “Strawberry Fields Forever” that happened to be playing in the restaurant. Later, Head Waitress brought out my soup, *and* my original meal order, which was a half-pound cheeseburger with fries. I ate the burger and most of the fries, and took the soup to go. I also ordered a slice of lemon cake to go. Always support local when you can. They try so hard sometimes, and are willing to do almost anything to earn your business!)

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