Everyone Remembers Their First Time, And Sometimes Someone Else’s

, , , , | | Hopeless | August 16, 2019

I was flying with my husband for our first anniversary to Paris and I’d never flown before. Unfortunately, we got separated due to a ticket mixup; he sat at the front of the plane, while I was at the back next to this very nice German lady. As the plane began to make its way down to the runway, I began to panic, telling myself I could do this, but as soon as it sped up and began taking off, I broke down crying, my hands clutching the armrests for dear life. The German woman held my hand, rubbing my back until we were settled in the air, telling me I would be all right. 

I don’t know who she was and I know I’ll never see her again, but I want to say a massive thank-you to the woman who helped a complete stranger cope with her very first flight, while said stranger was covered in tears.

Sweet Scam Sixteen

, , , , , | | Legal | August 7, 2019

(Normally, when I get a call from a number I don’t recognise, I ignore it, but today I answer one impulsively.)

Me: “Hello?”

Scammer: “Hello, we can see from our records that you’ve recently had a car accident.”

Me: “Oh, really? That’s hilarious.”

Scammer: “Pardon?”

Me: “That’s hilarious.”

(I’m sixteen years old, and in the UK the legal driving age is seventeen. I’m not licensed because I legally am not allowed to drive on the roads, so clearly this is a scam.)

Scammer: “I don’t—”

Me: “You do realize that this is a non-driver?”

Scammer: “We can see that you’ve had a car accident recently.”

Me: “Do you understand that you’re talking to a non-driver?”

(This goes back and forth for a few minutes.)

Scammer: “But we can see you’ve had an accident from your records!”

Me: “And what records are these? If I don’t drive and am not licensed, how can I be on record?”

Scammer: “But—”

Me: “You’re clearly phishing. I want you to take me off this list; you’ve obtained my number illegally, and I now want you to delete it.”

Made With Barley, Hops, And Gender Stereotypes

, , , , , , | Right | February 11, 2019

(I am volunteering behind the bar at a beer festival, serving over 100 beers of many different styles. A woman approaches to order.)

Woman: “I’m looking for a girly beer. Something girls will like.”

Me: “What kind of beer do you normally drink? Light, dark, or something in the middle?”

Woman: “Something girly!”

Me: “None of our beer is sexist, madam, but let me see what I can find you.”

(She took it in good humour, and I recommended a light golden ale, which she enjoyed.)

That’s How The Cookie Nuttily Crumbles

, , , , , , | Working | October 4, 2018

(My husband and I are customers in this story.)

Cashier: “Crisps or cookie with your sandwich?”

Me: “A white chocolate and macadamia cookie, please.”

Cashier: “Okay, but just to make sure, you are aware that it has nuts right?”

Husband: “Yes? How many people don’t know that the cookie with macadamia nuts in it contains nuts?”

Cashier: “You’d be surprised.”

Literally Screams For Ice Cream

, , , , | Right | August 22, 2018

(It’s been a long day, and I’m already an hour and a half overtime. I’ve been selling ice creams all day, and in the past few hours we’ve been running out. A woman comes up to our counter.)

Me: “Hi there. How may I help you today?”

Customer: *rudely* “Give me a chocolate.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but we’ve sold out of chocolate ice cream today. Is there something I can get you, instead?”

Customer: “Oh, f*** it. Really?!”

Me: “Yes, sorry. As you can see, we’ve had quite a hot, sunny day today, so it’s been very busy. If you could please tone the language down? We do have lots of children around, including the one standing behind you.”

Customer: *slamming her fist on the counter* “Oh, f*** off and get me a chocolate ice cream!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we are sold out of chocolate ice cream. We do have other flavours, if you’d—”

Customer: *interrupting me* “You’re hiding it from me! Aren’t you!? You a**hole!”

Me: “Sorry, are you going to buy anything today? We are quite busy and there is a hefty queue forming behind you.”

(She stormed off, and my coworker and I were shocked. We talked to our manager, and luckily we were able to find out she was staying at the site, and we kicked her off.)

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