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Shoplift Your Spirits

, , , , , | Right | December 23, 2010

(I witness this exchange between a customer and my manager.)

Manager: “I’m going to have to ask you to leave your backpack at the counter.”

Customer: “Don’t worry about it. My policy is not to shoplift when my friends can’t spare bail money.”

(The manager laughed and walked off, letting him keep his backpack.)

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Business Daze

, , , , | Right | December 21, 2010

(The customer has a covered hardware issue. It’s the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.)

Me: “I’m going to request that a replacement device be sent to you, free of charge. You should receive your replacement in two business days.”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to wait two business days! You need to make it arrive Friday!”

Me: “I understand your frustration sir, but tomorrow is Wednesday and the second business day is Friday. Thursday is the holiday.”

Customer: “You make it get here Friday!”

Me: “Sir, Wednesday is one business day. Friday is two business days. You will have your replacement on Friday.”

Customer: “Put your supervisor on!”

Supervisor: *after greeting the customer and looking at the details for the replacement* “What can I do for you, sir?”

Customer: “That girl’s trying to teach me how to count!”


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Bad Company, Good Business

, , , , , | Right | December 14, 2010

(I’m a cashier, and a customer comes up to my register with a lock.)

Customer: “Do you guys do price matching?”

Me: “Yes, we do!”

Customer: “Great. I’ll take it at the [Medical Supply Store] price.”

Me: “All right, I’ll just need the print out.”

Customer: “The what?”

Me: “Well, I need proof that the other store has the same product for a lesser amount.”

Customer: “Don’t you know what they sell it at?”

Me: “Actually, I don’t believe they sell this at all.”

Customer: “Well, just find a store that sells it at a lesser price and give me that!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t do that. Unless you found the same item for a lesser price at another store, I have to charge you what our company sells it at.”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Because that’s business, sir.”

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