These Customers Have Totally Checked Out

| Fargo, ND, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

(The customer returns $680 worth of purses.)

Me: “Okay… so that will be $680 going back onto your Visa card.”

Customer: “I can’t have cash?”

Me: “No, we can only do returns in the way that you made the purchase and it says here that you used your Visa card.”

Customer: “I just want the cash.”

Me: “I can only give you your money back in the way you paid. So $680 will be going back onto your Visa card.”

Customer: *looks at me like I’m stupid and calls her husband over*

Husband: “She just wants cash.”

Me: “Yes, well, if she had paid in cash I would be able to do that, but since she used her Visa card the money will be transferred back onto that account.”

Customer: “So, they are going to send me a check?”

Me: “No, the money just gets transferred back into your account.”

Husband: “But she already paid that.”

Me: “Exactly, and now that we are doing the return she will be getting that money back on her account.”

Husband: “So, they are going to be sending her a check.”

Me: “No, it will be transferred onto her Visa card.”

Husband: *looks at wife* “They will just send you a check.”

Me: “Okay… here’s your receipt. Thank you.”

Holla At The Girl

| Cornelius, OR, USA | Family & Kids, Language & Words

(I do not speak Spanish. A Hispanic father and young son come up to my line.)

Me: “Hello! Did you find everything all right?”

Father: *in English* “Hi. Yes, we did.” *turns to young son and says in Spanish* “Say hello.” *he says the word ‘hello’ in English*

Boy: “Hola!”

Father: *still speaking in Spanish, but says the word ‘hello’ in English* “No, say ‘hello’!”

Boy: *looks at father in confusion* “I did say Hola!”

A Jarring Experience

| Guelph, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Movies & TV

(I’m putting out stock in the electronics department when I overhear the following conversation between a co-worker and an older man carrying some groceries.)

Customer: “You’d better have a blu-ray copy of [Sci-Fi Movie that was released a few days prior] or I’m gonna shove this jar of peanuts up your a**.”

Coworker: “Well, sir, I personally prefer dry roasted peanuts, and those ones are honey roasted…”

(My coworker indicates a large display of the movie in question.)

Coworker: “…and here are 200 copies of [Movie], no more than a few feet away from where you are standing. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

(The customer grabs a movie and walks away quickly, pointedly not looking at my coworker.)

And Behind Curtain Number One

| MN, USA | Bad Behavior

(My mom and I are trying on some clothes in the dressing rooms and we hear this coming from further down the hall.)

Lady Customer: “Honey, I have to finish trying on my stuff. You’ll have to wait… No, you have to stay… Put those pants back on!… Don’t you dare pee in here!”

(We were done and starting to leave at the last one, and at the entry of the dressing room are two wide-eyed workers.)

Worker #1: “I so don’t want to clean that up.”

Worker #2: “What if she peed on some clothing?!”

(Poor, poor workers.)

Not A Very De-Scent Thing To Do

| Loveland, CO, USA | Bizarre

(I approach a customer who’s been staring at the cologne for a little while.)

Me: “Can I help you find anything today?”

Customer: “Which one of these do women like?”

Me: “Um, all of them? I can tell you what I like, but it really depends on the woman. I would suggest you choose something you like first and foremost. What scents have you worn and liked in the past?”

(He shows me a few and I help him choose one that fits his preference, though it’s not my taste at all. I hand him an unopened box and go to set the tester bottle back down when he snatches it from my hand and sprays it directly on me.)

Customer: “There! Now you’ll smell like me!” *grins and walks away*

(This was 20 minutes into an eight-hour shift. I had to smell like that stuff until we closed and I could go home and wash it off.)

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