So Much Lol in Español

| USA | Working | January 13, 2017

(I have just been transferred to a new department that is known among the employees for having a very strange manager. He has been showing me around and so far nothing strange has happened until:)

Manager: “Okay, now the toughest subject of all: customer service. What would you do if a kid threw a tantrum? Demonstrate.”

(He lies down and begins to fake cry and bang his fists.)

Me: “Um, there, there. Let me go find your parent…”

Manager: “That’s not bad. Now pretend there’s a grumpy old man.” *he starts flailing his limbs and complaining*

Me: “Sir, please explain to me what you need and I would be happy to help you.”

Manager: “Excellent. Okay, last one, customer that can’t speak English. Hola, ayudame por favor!”

Me: “Let me get you the manager; he speaks Spanish.”

Manager: “Great! I think you’ll fit in just fine here.”

Refunder Blunder, Part 27

| CA, USA | Right | December 28, 2016

(I’m a cashier at a department store. It’s after Christmas, so we’re mostly getting returns, if anything. We also do price adjustments on it if a customer bought it before it was marked down.)

Customer: “Hi, I just wanted to do an adjustment for this top I bought.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.” *scans receipt*

Me: “Oh, looks like it’s too late to do an adjustment on it. You can only change it within 14 days of buying it. I’m sorry about that.”

Customer: “That’s within 14 days!”

Me: “It says here that it’s from October.”

Customer: “Hmm… okay. How about you return the item, and then I’ll repurchase it!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sure that’ll work.”

(She stands, staring at me.)

Customer: “Aren’t you gonna do the return?”

Me: “Uh… well, to process the return, I would need the item you’re returning.”

Customer: “But I’m going to repurchase it.”

Me: “Yes… but I still need to perform the return as I would any other return, regardless of whether you’re buying it again.”

Customer: “No, no, no. I was going to return it and THEN buy it again so I get the new price!”

Me: “I would need the actual item to process both the return and the purchase.”

Customer: “Why do you need it?”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 26
Refunder Blunder, Part 25
Refunder Blunder, Part 24

Putting Them In A Dark (Fruit Cake) Mood

| IL, USA | Right | December 28, 2016

(I work in a large department store. It is it December 26th and in addition to being very busy, we’ve also had three employees call off, so I’ve been helping with the rush in the candy department. The following exchange happens after a customer asks me about a product she asked on Christmas Eve to be held for her.)

Customer: *quietly spoken in an otherwise loud setting, making it somewhat difficult to hear but I am able to roughly make out what she’s saying* “I was here on Christmas Eve and asked someone to hold something for me and he said he would. I had to get the money and said I would be coming back for it.”

Me: “Okay, what did you ask him to hold?”

Customer: “It’s a dark fruit cake; it’s for my friend and we like the dark fruit cake so it doesn’t matter if it’s on sale or not or if it’s a full or half fruit cake. We like the dark fruit cake and he said he’d hold for me; I just had to get the cash and said I would be coming back.”

Me: *after I am finally able to say something after the unnecessary information* “Okay, well, let me go look around at the counters and see if we have it anywhere for you.” *after I get back from checking all the counters* “I’m afraid it’s not any of the counters; let me take to you where the fruit cakes are located.”

(I take the customer to the table where the remaining fruit cakes are located. Being holiday product, it’s 75% off and many people have bought the discounted product so there’s not much left. They are all light fruit cake boxes. The customer sees this and immediately starts yelling at me.)

Customer: “I DON’T LIKE THE LIGHT FRUIT CAKE! I LIKE THE DARK FRUIT CAKE! I WANT THE DARK FRUIT CAKE! HE SAID HE’D HOLD IT! I SAID I JUST HAD TO GET THE CASH AND I’D BE BACK AND HE SAID HE’D HOLD IT! GO TO H***!”

(At this point, my (seasonal) coworker comes over and asks me if she’d like me to help out and look behind the counter as well to which I nod yes.)

Me: *to customer* “I’m very sorry that this happened, ma’am.”

(My coworker goes to look and the customer follows her. I’m still by the fruit cake table. As the customer walks away, another customer, who heard the whole thing, comes up to me.)

Nice Customer: “Are you okay?”

Me: “Yes, thank you.I’ve had worse.”

(After the nice customer walks away, I use the phone so I can report the original customer to security off the premises. I’m about to make the phone call when my manager walks up.)

Manager: *handing me a money pouch, full of change* “This all we have in the store.”

Me: “Thanks. There’s an unruly customer in candy who told me ‘go to h***’ so I’m calling security.”

Manager: *before she leaves to go see what the customer looks like* “Do it.” *comes back and says to my coworker in wine* “Go check it out; she makes me look nice!”

(Ah, gotta love the holidays and the crazies they bring.)

Have No Idea WHAT Is Going On

| Canada | Working | December 27, 2016

(I’m working at the jewellery counter as a Christmas seasonal employee. I see a display is looking a bit sparse so while I’m not helping anyone I grab some jewellery from the storage drawers under the display to refill it. My manager passes behind me and sees the empty display.)

Manager: “[My Name], refill the jewellery display if you aren’t doing anything.”

Me: “I’m already on it.”

Manager: “What?”

Me: *wondering if I offended her by my wording* “What?”

Manager: “What?”

Me: *stares at the manager, completely confused*

Manager: *to another worker* “I never let anyone say ‘what’ to me. Not even my own daughter.” *walks away*

Me: *flabbergasted*

Full Of Christmas Jeer

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Right | December 27, 2016

(It’s Christmas Eve and I’m really tired because I had already been at work there from 9:30 at night to 7 that morning (an hour later than I was supposed to stay) and I am back again at 2 that afternoon, so I am running on no sleep and being kind of bitchy to customers.)

Customer: “Can I see that necklace there? What is that, just a geometric shape?”

Me: “It’s a snake. ”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t like snakes and wouldn’t want to get that for me wife since she’s not a fan either. Except for, you know, my snake.”

Me: *begin staring at him with just this look of absolute hatred that screams ‘f*** you’*

Customer: “Okay… so I’ll take the one behind it.”

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