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Can’t Understand The Petite Differences

| HI, USA | Crazy Requests, Popular

(I work in the clothing section of a well-known department store chain. A woman approaches my register wanting to return a shipping order.)

Customer: “I ordered these four [Brand] jeans online, but they sent me the wrong ones.” She shows me a pair she had grabbed from the display. “These are the ones I wanted.”

Me: “I’m so sorry about the mix-up. Let me look up the UPC number and re-order them for you.”

(I scan the ones she grabbed, and notice the UPC number is the same as the ones she’s returning.)

Me: “Ma’am, it looks like these are the same as the ones you have now.”

Customer: “No, they’re different. I don’t want to argue with you about it.”

Me: “Okay, was it a problem with the size? Sometimes there are fluctuations between different styles.”

Customer: “No, I tried them on. They fit right.”

Me: “Well, the color is blue-black. Did you want a different color?”

Customer: “No, that’s fine.”

Me: “And they’re both the curvy/straight leg cut. Were you looking for something else?”

Customer: “No, that’s the cut I want.”

Me: *at a loss* “Well, ma’am, they have the same UPC, and the color and cut are the same. I can assure you these jeans are the same as the ones you ordered-”

Customer: *irritated* “No, they are NOT the same. Look—” *she shows me the ironed-on label on the inside of the waistband of the jeans she ordered* “THIS says ‘[Brand] jeans petite.’” She shows the label on the one she grabbed from the display. “And THIS ONE says ‘[Brand] petite denim.’ THESE were the ones I ordered, and THESE are the ones I want. I want you to order me the right ones.”

(I’m speechless for a moment, and I can already tell the situation is only going to go downhill from here. I try to give her the benefit of the doubt and explain as kindly as I can.)

Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, ma’am, but the reason the inside label looks different is just because [Brand] updated the design recently. I promise you they’re all the same cut—”

Customer: “I don’t want to argue with you about it. Just order me the ones I want.”

Me: “Ma’am, they all have the same UPC number. I can order four more for you, but there’s no way to guarantee whether you’ll get the old or new label design.”

Customer: “Get me your manager!”

(I give up and call a manager down. The customer begins her spiel about how the jeans are DIFFERENT, and how they sent her the wrong ones. My manager looks at the jeans, and then looks at me over the customer’s shoulder, a ‘What the hell?’ expression on her face. I mouth the words ‘THEY’RE THE SAME’ to her, rolling my eyes. I show my manager the UPC labels.)

Manager: “Again, we’re sorry, but like my associate said, it’s just a new label design. The jeans themselves are exactly the same.”

(We process the customer’s return while she throws a fit about our horrible customer service. She demands both our names, and the phone numbers of the head store manager as well as corporate. Taking her return receipt, she finishes with what she imagines is a crushing blow: “I worked for [Other Famous Department Store] for fifteen years, and we were always on top of things like this!”   I manage to keep a straight face until she leaves, and then turn to my manager with an incredulous look.)

Me: *deadpan* “She’s trying to claim a store that’s been in the red since the 1980s is ‘on top of things’?”

Manager: “Maybe that’s when she started working there.”

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Using Old Jokes Are No Joke

| Burlington, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Money, Popular

(I am so sick and tired of fake laughing at this same joke. This time I play stupid. I am using a machine to check some bills for authenticity.)

Customer: “Are they good? I just made them this morning!”

Me: *stern, serious look on my face* “You printed these bills yourself?”

Customer: “Uh, no, I… Hehe, it was a joke.”

Me: “You realize printing counterfeit bills is a very serious felony? You could go to jail for 14 years.”

Customer: “Yes, I, uh… but they’re good, right? I was kidding.”

Me: “You’re lucky my machine isn’t showing any signs that they are counterfeit. But you should be more careful next time; it’s not something to joke about.”

(The customer nodded gravely, and left with his purchase and change. I don’t think I’ll be hearing that joke from him again!)

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Closing Time Came Earlier For You

| Solihull, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Popular, Time

(I am on the shop floor with my mum, who has come to meet me on my lunch break. Due to a combination of the hot weather and having skipped breakfast, out of nowhere I faint. My mum puts me in the recovery position and some of my colleagues start to come over to see if I’m OK. Amidst the commotion, a customer comes over, sees my uniform, and bends over to where I am LYING ON THE FLOOR.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what time do you close today?”

Me: *too woozy and shocked to think of another response* “4:30.”

(The customer walked off without even a thank you.)

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Stuck In A Vicious Bicycle

| VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Popular

(We work in a single-story building. Our store is a little smaller than others of the same chain in the area. I am rearranging the lawnmowers when a woman approaches me.)

Woman: “Excuse me; I can’t seem to find the bicycles.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t carry bicycles in this store. We have a bicycle section with some small things, but you have to go to [Other Location] for actual bikes.”

Woman: “No, your BICYCLES. I need a bicycle.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t carry them.”

Woman: “YES, you DO!”

Me: “Our other stores do. Our store is too small.”

Woman: “I saw them YESTERDAY. Ugh.”

Me: “Really? Where?”

Woman: “I don’t remember.”

Me: “Maybe you were at [Other Location]?”

Woman: “You’re not LISTENING. Just show me the bicycle section.”

(I lead her to the bicycle section where we have a few spare tires, pumps, etc.)

Woman: No, where your BICYCLES ARE.

Me: *frustrated* “OHHH, our BICYCLES! Sorry, I didn’t understand. You are looking for our bicycles, but not at [Other Location]?”

Woman: “YES, FINALLY!”

Me: “The bicycles are upstairs!”

Woman: “WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SO THE FIRST TIME!?”

(She stormed off. I alerted the rest of our team about the crazy lady and fess up to sending her to our nonexistent upstairs. I got scolded later. Worth it.)

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The Virtues Of Customer Service

| Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Popular, Religion

(I work as a cashier and I have a very new cashier on the till next to mine so I can help her if she has any questions. The new cashier turns to ask me a quick question about a transaction while I am serving an elderly man.)

Me: *to customer* “I’m sorry, sir, please give me just one second.”

(The question is simple and I do not even have to leave my till to deal with the problem. The entire exchange takes maybe a minute at most.)

Customer: *very rudely* “Excuse ME, but I believe you were serving me first.”

Me: “Sorry about that, sir. This is [Coworker]’s first time on cash alone and I am to make sure that I help her if she gets stuck.”

Customer: “Well, that isn’t my problem.”

(I politely ignore his rude tone and finish scanning his last couple items. In his order is a large number of cleaning supplies.)

Customer: “I am getting ready for a full weekend of spring cleaning. Cleanliness is next to godliness, you know!”

Me: *smiling and handing him his shopping bag* “Yes, and so is patience, so I hear.”

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