A More Sedate Type Of Customer

| UK | Right | February 15, 2017

(I’m on the checkout serving a customer who has done nothing but smile and stare at me silently the entire time. I’m pretty sure she hasn’t blinked at all either. I’m debating whether to ask her when she starts leaning unhealthily to the right.)

Me: “Miss, are you all right?”

Woman: “Oh, I’m fine. I took some sedatives before coming in. I was hoping to make it home before they kicked in but, oh well.”

(She waved me off as she turned and headed for the exit, leaving me and her purchases behind. She made it about halfway down before she collapsed. We called an ambulance and tried to bring her around. The paramedics knew her by name.)

Has Some Serious Bag Baggage

| IA, USA | Right | February 14, 2017

(I work in a fairly high-end department store in the handbag department. Recently we’ve started contracting with a secondhand vendor to sell either retired display models or used and refurbished handbags from an haute couture French designer — an average price range $1000 for a bag. While some of the bags are actually used, some were only on display in the store or carried by a model in a fashion show, which in the designer’s eyes is enough to be “used,” but for the average person is no big deal. People get very excited about the bags and we sell a lot of them.)

Customer: “Can I see this bag?”

Me: “Of course!” *pulls bag out of case* “These bags are from [Secondhand Vendor], so they’re all either retired display models or used and refurbished.”

(I may as well have said, based on the horror with which this woman reacted: “These bags are made out of human skin by Satan himself.”)

Customer: *literally DROPS bag as if it burned her, lets out horrified gasp* “They’re USED? I don’t want a USED handbag!” *literally RUNS several feet away before turning around, waving, and saying* “Thank you!”

(If she hadn’t run off, I could’ve told her that based on its condition, the bag she was looking at had in fact likely never been used more than sitting on display in a store, but oh well. I’m sure we’ll sell it to someone who’s excited to be able to buy a bag at a lower retail price when they’re otherwise unavailable in our state!)

The Vacuum Has A Long Range

| Norwich, England, UK | Working | February 12, 2017

(My father and I are on holiday visiting family. We stop into a home department store to pick up a few items to fix up my grandparents’ back garden. Two salesmen are at the front of the store trying to promote sales of a new (very expensive) vacuum cleaner, by signing people up for a free trial and carpet clean in their home.)

Salesman: *approaching my father* “Good morning, sir! Are you interested in a free carpet cleaning?”

Father: “Nah, mate, I live a bit too far for you to come clean my carpet.”

Salesman: “Not at all! We have offices located all around the country; we can come to you anywhere!”

Father: “No, really, I live far too out the way for you to bring your vacuum.”

(They continue for ages to insist that no matter where we live, they will be able to bring this vacuum over to trial it. They don’t take no as an answer. Finally my father decides enough is enough.)

Father: “All right, fine! You can bring your vacuum over to clean my carpets.”

Salesman: “Great! I’ll just get your details down. Where is it you live?”

Father: *rattles off street address* “Yes… that’s in Auckland… in New Zealand.”

Salesman: “…maybe you do live a bit far.”

Getting Karma Is Child’s Play

| London, England, UK | Right | February 9, 2017

(It is my first day of work in a shop ever. There is a child running around, picking up clothes and dropping them on the floor, all while her mother watches and says nothing. I am picking up after her trail of destruction.)

Mother: “Hello?” *I pretend not to hear her as long as I can as a kind of punishment* “Hello!”

Me: “Hellooo?”

Mother: *with a pack of tights* “These are on the sale rack but they aren’t marked down. Check them.”

Me: “I don’t know why they’d be on there. These aren’t on sale; the rest of the stock are on the non-sale.” *I point at the rest of the identical tights at full price*

Mother: “They were on the sale…”

Me: *roughly grabbing the tights and sighing heavily* “I’ll check then.”

(I spend as long as I can finding the scanner and checking the price, which of course has not been reduced. Nope, not on sale.)

Mother: “They were on the sale—”

Me: “—well, sometimes people let their children play with the stock and it gets mixed up for other people.”

Mother: *looks at her kid who has just strewn designer clothes on the floor, turns red, and walks off*

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Keeping The Card Is Not In The Cards

, | UK | Right | February 7, 2017

(I work in the restaurant in a large chain of department stores that have their own store credit card. I am making coffee and my coworker is next to me on the till. Very few of these store credit cards are under the branding of the old store which closed down 10 years ago but is still fondly remembered by the locals. Usually the holders of these cards consider is a sort of status symbol but these old cards have recently been phased out.)

Coworker: “That will be [price], please.”

(The customer hands her an old branded store card.)

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t accept this card. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: “Why can’t you accept it? There’s never been a problem before.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but we have been given instructions from head office to not accept these cards anymore. I don’t know anymore than that, I’m afraid.”

Customer: “Why? There’s never been a problem before!”

(I decide to step in as I know a little more information.)

Me: “[Company] has decided to phase out the old cards and replace them with new ones. The old cards have now been deactivated and will no longer work with our tills.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! I won’t be able to use my card anymore? What am I supposed to do?”

Me: “You should have been issued with a new card by now. It would have been sent through the post.”

Customer: “I was but I don’t want a new card; I want to use my old one!”

(My coworker and I sigh internally.)

Coworker: “If you like I can get a manger for you but I suggest you take this up with customer services; they will be able to give you better assistance.”

(He insisted on speaking with a manager who told him the same as we did. The manager, however, told him to enjoy his coffee and cakes and return later to pay when he can arrange another form of payment. Of course, he didn’t come back.)

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