The Number One Complaint For Pregnancy Tests

, , , | Right | September 6, 2017

(I am on break and waiting in line when this happens to my coworker.)

Customer: “I’d like to return this.” *hands over a shopping bag*

Coworker: “Sure, I can do that. Was the product defective or… uh, ma’am?” *taking an opened, somewhat drippy pregnancy test kit out*

Customer: “I didn’t get the result I wanted!”

Coworker: “Did you use this?” *already going for the hand sanitizer*

Customer: “But I’m not pregnant! It didn’t give me the result I wanted!”

Coworker: “I can’t return this.”

Customer: “Why? I should be able to return it if I’m not happy with the product.”

Coworker: “No, you cannot return products that have been… used. Especially if use involves urinating on it.”

Customer: *irately* “What should I do, then?”

Coworker: “I don’t know, maybe try again?”

(I came back from my break early so she could thoroughly sanitize and wash her hands!)

In A Jungle Jumble

, , , , , | Related | September 5, 2017

I have very light skin and come from a not very diverse area. My first exposure to people with darker skin tones was when I saw Mowgli in The Jungle Book.

When I was about three-and-a-half years old, I was at the store with my father and, to my amazement, I saw a black man. I immediately asked my dad, loud enough that everyone could hear, “IS HE FROM THE JUNGLE?!”

My dad apologized to the man and hurried out of the store, leaving his cart full of items behind.  

I got a huge lecture in the car, and my father did his shopping elsewhere for a few months. My dad will never let me live this down.

Unfiltered Story #91946

, , | Unfiltered | August 25, 2017

I am working in the jewelry department when I notice that someone has placed jewelry all over the floor. I begin picking it up and putting it away when a woman storms up.
Customer: Excuse me, I had placed jewelry aside to show my daughter and now it’s gone.
Me: Do you mean the items left on the floor?
Customer: Yes and now I don’t know where I got it all from.
Me: Ma’am I put it away because it was a safety issue. If someone had tripped on it, they could’ve hit their head on one of our fixtures and seriously injured themselves…also, worst case scenario, someone could’ve died because of your negligence. If you want something set aside, you can leave it on the counters or hand it to me.
Customer: Whatever. She leaves and comes back later with her daughter to look again while shooting me dirty looks.
I’d rather get dirty looks than have a lawsuit thank you very much.

Don’t Ever Let Them Put You In A Box

, , , | Working | August 16, 2017

(I made a Boxtroll costume for Halloween the year the movie came out. I cobbled two boxes together into a large box with a hole on top for my head to come through, tall enough to rest on my shoulders, and altered a skeleton mask to look like the characters that sits on top of my head. I also print out a Candy Brand label and stick it to the box, deciding that was my Boxtroll name. I have the day off, but I decide to drop in at the store to show it off. I sneak into the office, hear two of my managers talking in one room, and set my box in front of the room, blocking the narrow hallway. I duck inside the box, waiting for them to notice me before I show them my mask. They come out of the room, still talking… and inch their way around the edges of my box, going into another room, without a break in their conversation. I wait, a little dumbfounded, and a minute later one of them comes out of the room, carefully moving around the gigantic box in her way, again without a word. I pop my head up through the top, and she’s across the office with her back to me. I shuffle over to her.)

Me: “…Hello?”

Manager #1: *jumps and spins around* “[My Name]! Where did you come from?”

Me: “I was the giant box in the middle of the hallway…”

Manager #1: “Wait, what?”

Me: “How did you not think that was strange?!”

Manager #1: “Well, there are boxes in here all the time…”

Me: *nearly crying with laughter* “It says ‘[Candy Brand]’ on the box! We don’t even sell [Candy Brand]!”

Manager #2: *comes out of the room* “[My Name]! Where did you come from?”

(Clearly I am a very successful Boxtroll. I also have never, ever let those two forget that time they thought I was a box.)

Give Them Credit For Trying Again, And Again, And Again

, , , , , , | Working | August 14, 2017

(I stop at a local department store to pickup up some jeans for my daughter. While I am usually sympathetic to clerks/cashiers promoting their store branch credit cards and customer programs, this clerk was a little overzealous and ultimately cost the store a sale.)

Clerk: “Will you be using [Store] credit card to pay for these?”

Me: “No.”

Clerk: “Do you have a [Store] credit card?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t.”

Clerk: “Oh, well, it’ll only take a few minutes to sign you up. You’ll save an additional 20% on today’s purchase, and you’ll get weekly coupons—”

Me: “Sorry, not interested. Please just ring my purchases up.”

Clerk: “But, you really need to sign up for this card. Don’t you want to save an additional 20% off today?”

Me: “No. Either ring up my purchases or find someone who can.”

Clerk: “But you’re missing out on an additional 20% off today. What if I could get you your total order for free today? Would that work?”

(There was about $120 in merchandise sitting on the counter.)

Me: “You are not listening to me. I do not want a [Store] credit card.”

Clerk: *beginning to ring up order* “You’d turn down free stuff? You must have bad credit or something. Cause everyone wants to save money? Can I at least have an email address so I can sign you up for our customer rewards program?”

Me: “No. You know what? Just cancel my order.”

(The whole time this exchange was going on, a shift leader was no more than five feet going through the returns rack. I could tell she was listening to the conversation, but she made no attempt to intervene. I went home and then proceeded to order everything I was going to buy in-store online.)

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