Full Of Christmas Jeer

| Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Holidays, Spouses & Partners

(It’s Christmas Eve and I’m really tired because I had already been at work there from 9:30 at night to 7 that morning (an hour later than I was supposed to stay) and I am back again at 2 that afternoon, so I am running on no sleep and being kind of bitchy to customers.)

Customer: “Can I see that necklace there? What is that, just a geometric shape?”

Me: “It’s a snake. ”

Customer: “Oh, I don’t like snakes and wouldn’t want to get that for me wife since she’s not a fan either. Except for, you know, my snake.”

Me: *begin staring at him with just this look of absolute hatred that screams ‘f*** you’*

Customer: “Okay… so I’ll take the one behind it.”

Better Give Them A Deal Quickly

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Holidays, Money

(I am working in a busy department store at Christmas less than a week out. I am instructed to take a phone call.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help?”

Customer: “I was in there Tuesday… No, Wednesday, and my sister was with me and after we got a coffee, we came in and bought 2 DVDs and 2 games. They were on sale, you see, and we were getting them for my nephew, who is eight and loves superheroes. We are going up the coast for Christmas to see him and his family as his dad works in the military and he has recently changed schools…”

(The store is packed busy, people waiting, as she tells me every detail of her life.)

Me: “Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “I need to know the games I bought and what the original price was.”

Me: “Okay, what games were they?”

Customer: “A superhero one and an army one.”

Me: “I will need to know the exact games to let you know the price.” *I go on to suggest some recent titles that they might be*

Customer: “Oh, I don’t know. How much are games these days?”

(I explain they range in price but new releases $60-$80 on average.)

Customer: “I just want to know the original price because that’s more than I paid. Do you think I got a good deal on the ones I purchased?”

Me: “Perhaps you could look at you receipt and let me know what you purchased?”

Customer: “I don’t have one.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I think you got a wonderful deal. Have a nice Xmas.”

Customer: “But I didn’t tell you what ones I bought?”

Me: “Have a nice Christmas, ma’am…”

Just Appease The Old Bag

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(A woman comes to my counter with a floor length, formal dress. I ring her up with the dress hanging on a hook. Then I start to slide the dress into a garment bag with it still hanging.)

Customer: “What’s THAT?”

Me: “We provide garment bags for all our formal purchases.”

Customer: “What’s a garment bag?”

Me: “The bag goes over the whole dress and the hanger so you can keep the dress hanging.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. I can’t just carry that around the mall. Give me a regular bag.”

(I pull out a large bag and attempt to fold the dress nicely and put it inside.)

Customer: “What are you doing?! That will make it all wrinkly. I want it in a bag flat.”

(I turn and pick up the same garment bag I had used, slide the dress inside, and hand it to her.)

Customer: “See? Was that so hard?”

Coupoff

| Pittsburgh PA, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(While waiting to clock in, I notice a warning to employees about a fraudulent coupon that people have been trying to use. It says $70 off anything in the store which is frankly ridiculous and I comment something to my other coworkers.)

Me: “What dumb-a** customer would ever think this was real?! The most we ever have is $10 off and you usually have to spend $30 or more.”

Coworker: “My dumb-a** customer! I had a lady argue with me earlier asking how I knew it wasn’t real. I had to point out that ‘back,’ ‘discount,’ and ‘redeemed’ were spelled wrong. Even then she kept trying to use it.”

That’s The Stock Response

, | USA | Bad Behavior, Technology

(We have to have customers sign a copyright release form if they print pictures that they do not own the rights to, such as an image of a celebrity they found off of Google. It makes sure we’re not the ones liable for printing it. A man made a poster of a foreign prince and I attach to the poster the form to sign. A customer comes up to the counter about an hour later and my coworker is assisting him. It’s the man with the poster.)

Coworker: “Sorry, sir, do you own the rights to this photo?”

Customer: “It’s a stock photo I found on Google! What the h*** are you talking about?!”

Coworker: “Well, if you found it on Google, it is copyrighted and we need you to sign this form.”

Customer: “It’s a stock photo! Of course I don’t own the rights!”

Coworker: “Yep, and we need you to sign this release form so you can have the photo.”

Customer: “You’re so stupid! You’re stupid! It’s a stock photo! Off Google! I have every right to have it!”

Coworker: “Yep, you can have it. We just need you to sign the form.”

Customer: *as he’s storming off* “You’re stupid! You’re so stupid! I can’t believe this bulls***! You’re so stupid! Stupid!”

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