When Children Pass Judgement There Is No Kidding

, , , | Friendly | March 9, 2020

(I am in the toy section of a large chain department store looking to see if anything new is available for my collection. As I look, a small girl next to me decides to speak up.)

Little Girl: “Are you getting something for your daughter?”

Me: “Nope, I’m looking for something for myself.”

(I go back to looking.)

Little Girl: “Are you a kid?”

(I’m a bit taken aback by this.)

Me: “Well, adults collect toys, too.”

Little Girl: *in a snarky tone* “Well, I’m five.”

Me: “…”

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Unfiltered Story #187763

, , | Unfiltered | March 5, 2020

[I’m processing a return for a woman who does not have her sales slip, so, as policy goes: the products will go for the last 30 days sale price and on a gift card for in store use.]

Customer: Why is one of them only $2?! But, I paid $17!

Me: I’m sorry, but I can only do it for whatever sale price it was in the last 30 days. Looks like it went on clearance, or something..

Customer: I don’t believe it would!

Me: I’m not sure, it IS a large price difference from what it was but given it’s $2, it must have been clearanced out for a new product in the last month.

Customer: You’re lying, there’s no way.

Me: I’m sorry, that’s the price I have in the computer, I can’t change it. If you had the sales slip we can do it for what you paid for it.

Customer: Fine, I’ll just take it back then. That’s ridiculous.

Maybe Don’t Go Out In The Invisibility Cloak

, , , , , | Working | March 3, 2020

(My friend refers to me as her “Invisible Friend,” because whenever we are out together, I seem to disappear from everyone else’s view but her own. We decide to stop at a large department store while we’re out shopping. We pick up some random items and stand in line chatting at the register, which has an automatic conveyor belt. My friend is ahead of me and continues to chat with me as the cashier rings up her purchases.)

Cashier: *reaching over the plastic wand that separates orders* “Are these yours?”

Friend: “No, those are hers.” *indicating me*

Cashier: “Wait, who?”

Friend: “My friend here. She wants to buy those.”

Cashier: “Are these yours or not?”

Me: “They’re mine. I’m paying for those.”

Cashier: “Do you want me to put them back?”

Me: “No, thanks. I’m going to buy those. Separately.”

Friend: “That’s her stuff. I can pay for my stuff now.”

Cashier: *looking slightly dazed, like I just materialized* “Oh! That’s her stuff!”

(As I cash out, my friend wanders over to a pretzel kiosk. It’s been hours since we’ve eaten and we still have a few stops to make, so she and I agree a pretzel would be a delicious snack. I stand behind my friend to make a queue. She orders her pretzel, pays, and receives said pretzel. I step up to the counter. And the person behind the counter looks at me, turns around, and walks to the back. At first, I assume she’s grabbing more stock or getting something out of the oven, but no. She walks over to a chair and sits down, pulls out her phone, and starts fiddling with it.)

Friend: “Excuse me?”

Worker: “I already gave you your food. What do you want?”

Friend: “She—” *gestures to me* “—would like a pretzel, too.”

Worker: “I already gave you a pretzel.”

Friend: “Yes, but she wants to buy one, too.”

Worker: *walks back up to the counter* “Fine. What can I get you?”

Me: “I’d like a regular pretzel with salt and a medium diet soda.”

Worker: *looking at my friend* “What do you want?”

Friend:She would like a regular pretzel with salt and a medium diet soda.”

Worker: “I just gave you a pretzel.”

Friend:It’s for her!

Me:Hi! I’d like a regular pretzel with salt and a medium diet soda, please.”

Worker: *sighs loudly, retrieves the order, and then speaks to my friend* “That’ll be [total].”

Me: *hands over cash*

Worker:Oh! This one is for you!

(Yes, it took that long for me to suddenly appear. I’m not sure why I’m invisible, but this happens often. Really messes with my sense of reality!)

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Unfiltered Story #187083

, , | Unfiltered | February 27, 2020

(I’d just gotten my first cell phone, an old hand-me-down from my mother. It runs out of battery, so I charge it. When it’s done charging, I can’t seem to turn it on no matter how long I hold what I think is the power button.)
Me: Dad, I can’t turn on my phone, but it’s charging normally!
Dad: Shall we take it back to the store?
Me: Yes!

(At the department store…)
Worker: What’s your problem?
Me: I can’t turn on my phone no matter what I try!
Worker: Here, let me try.
(She takes the phone and presses the on button. I’d been pressing the camera button the whole time!)

Unfiltered Story #187016

, , | Unfiltered | February 24, 2020

[I’m working the service desk alone and I’ve quite a few customers in line. I can hear an older woman mutter about how “we need more help/ faster workers” as I’m printing out several money orders for the customer in front of her. The older woman comes up to me, and I recognize her, instantly, because of her bright auburn drawn on eyebrows. She is known for being quite rude and pushy]

Customer: I want two rainchecks!

Me: No problem, what are they for? [I pull up the raincheck window on my computer to find it.]

Customer: It’s [brand] milk! They’re a part of the 10 for 10 sale.

Me: Alright, looks like it’s not already in the system, I’ll have to check the ad.

Customer: Ugh. This is going to take SO much time!

Me: Okay found it. What was the other one?

Customer: [she mumbles the brand] kipper snacks! [as I start searching the ad for it she freaks:] They ARE NOT in the ad!!

Me: Okay.. I’ll have to call back to the department to see if it’s raincheckable. it was [tries to say the brand] right?

Customer: YES. Ugh. This is taking too long.

Me: [on phone with grocery, they ask their manager and turns out it is raincheckable] Okay, I can make that as well. All I have to do is get a manager’s override and then I can make them.

Customer: WHAT. Why do you NEED a manager’s override?

Me: Well, any raincheck that isn’t already in the system has to have a manager’s approval.

Customer: Can you just make it without them having to approve it??

Me: I can’t. The computer will lock out until they override it.

Customer: That is just ridiculous.