Got All Tangled Before

| Topsham, ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I stop by a department store after work to grab a few things. While in the grocery section, I see some dinosaur chicken nuggets and decide to buy them for myself, even though I don’t have any kids. At the register, the cashier rings up my groceries.)

Cashier: “You know, we have frozen chicken nuggets.”

Me: “These are frozen.”

Cashier: “No, these are dinosaurs.”

Me: “Yeah, I know. I just kind of thought dinosaurs would be fun.”

Cashier: “Right, so I was just wondering if you saw the frozen ones.”

Me: *confused* “These ARE frozen ones. Unless I somehow grabbed some from a refrigerated section instead of the freezer?”

Cashier: *thinking* “I don’t even remember dinosaurs in frozen, but I could just be forgetting.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure I got them from the freezer section.”

Cashier: *exasperated* “No, I meant frozen chicken nuggets.”

Me: “These ARE frozen chicken nuggets.”

(We both stare at each other for a moment like the other person is a total moron.)

Cashier: *sighing* “I meant Frozen. You know…” *awkward pause* “Like with Elsa. ‘Let it go, let it gooo!’”

Me: *throwing up my hands* “Holy s***, you meant the movie ‘Frozen’!”

Cashier: “Yeah.”

Me: “Jesus Christ, that was confusing.”

Cashier: “Yeah… here’s your receipt.”

Taking Inventory And An Earful

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work in Jewelry at a well-known department store chain. It’s a few hours into our Black Friday sale, and I have just moved on to our next customer waiting, who asks to see a pair of gold earrings in our case.)

Me: “These are 18k yellow gold, and the full price is [price], so the discount today is—”

Customer: “No, I’ve looked at these earrings before. They are supposed to be 14k, at [much lower price].”

Me: “Oh, we had several different versions of this earring in stock; it’s a common shape. You were probably looking at an earlier pair we had.”

Customer: *getting angry* “No, it was THESE EARRINGS. I saw these earrings a year ago, and I’ve been watching them all this time, waiting for this day to come and buy them. This is bull-s***!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am… but if it’s been that long, they were probably sent back to the vendor. We remove older pieces every month to make room for the newer pieces coming in. We did have about five versions of this style of earring, but I remember sending some back about half a year ago.”

Customer: “This is bull-s***! It was THESE EARRINGS! I looked at them just a month ago! You’ve changed the tags on them. This is fraud!”

Me: “Ma’am, we haven’t changed the tags on these earrings. The ones you saw were a different pair. I can check the back-stock to see if we have any left.”

(I check, and find a larger 14k pair at the same price as the ones in the case, and a smaller 14k pair with a price halfway between what we have and what she wanted. I bring them out to show her.)

Me: “Ma’am, it looks like we only have two versions left. This pair is the cheapest we have right now. The ones you saw before were probably smaller than these—”

Customer: *now gesturing to the new earrings I’m holding* “No, THIS was the pair I saw! And now the price is different! This is fraud!”

Me: “Ma’am, like I said, we had several of these earrings. The pair you saw was either purchased by another customer, or sent back.”

(She refuses to believe me, and continues complaining as she shops, using the words “fraud” and “bull-s***” repeatedly. She decides to buy the earrings along with a few other pieces, and complains to my manager while I am ringing her up about “waiting a year for these earrings” and us “changing the tag”. My manager tells her the exact same thing I had about the earrings she wanted either being bought by someone else or sent back, but the customer insists the pair I am ringing up are the ones she had seen, conveniently forgetting she had said the same thing about the pair in the case! She finally leaves after getting the contact info for someone “higher up” to complain to, and my manager shoots me a sympathetic look.)

Me: *sighing heavily* “That’s not fraud; it’s called ‘Inventory’. I don’t think she knows how stores work. Who expects something to still be there after a year, anyway?”

The Perfect Catalog Response

| HI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work in a large, chain department store. We have sales every week, and mail out catalogues for every sale, along with newspaper ads, commercials, etc. During a busy Saturday sale during the holiday season, I’m working in the woman’s clothing section. A tiny, elderly lady shuffles through the door, spots me, and heads in my direction.)

Me: “Good afternoon!”

Customer: “Hi. You had a sweater in your catalogue.” *a moment’s pause* “Where is it?”

Me: “…”

(I immediately envision all the ways this conversation can go horribly, horribly wrong, but while I’m standing there petrified, she turns her head to the side.)

Customer: “Ah, there it is.”

(She shuffled off into the racks. I blinked, let out a long breath, and scampered away. This tale raised much hooting laughter in the break room later. Never has an employee in that situation been let off the hook so neatly!)

Refunder Blunder, Part 27

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m a cashier at a department store. It’s after Christmas, so we’re mostly getting returns, if anything. We also do price adjustments on it if a customer bought it before it was marked down.)

Customer: “Hi, I just wanted to do an adjustment for this top I bought.”

Me: “Sure, no problem.” *scans receipt*

Me: “Oh, looks like it’s too late to do an adjustment on it. You can only change it within 14 days of buying it. I’m sorry about that.”

Customer: “That’s within 14 days!”

Me: “It says here that it’s from October.”

Customer: “Hmm… okay. How about you return the item, and then I’ll repurchase it!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sure that’ll work.”

(She stands, staring at me.)

Customer: “Aren’t you gonna do the return?”

Me: “Uh… well, to process the return, I would need the item you’re returning.”

Customer: “But I’m going to repurchase it.”

Me: “Yes… but I still need to perform the return as I would any other return, regardless of whether you’re buying it again.”

Customer: “No, no, no. I was going to return it and THEN buy it again so I get the new price!”

Me: “I would need the actual item to process both the return and the purchase.”

Customer: “Why do you need it?”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 26
Refunder Blunder, Part 25
Refunder Blunder, Part 24

Putting Them In A Dark (Fruit Cake) Mood

| IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

(I work in a large department store. It is it December 26th and in addition to being very busy, we’ve also had three employees call off, so I’ve been helping with the rush in the candy department. The following exchange happens after a customer asks me about a product she asked on Christmas Eve to be held for her.)

Customer: *quietly spoken in an otherwise loud setting, making it somewhat difficult to hear but I am able to roughly make out what she’s saying* “I was here on Christmas Eve and asked someone to hold something for me and he said he would. I had to get the money and said I would be coming back for it.”

Me: “Okay, what did you ask him to hold?”

Customer: “It’s a dark fruit cake; it’s for my friend and we like the dark fruit cake so it doesn’t matter if it’s on sale or not or if it’s a full or half fruit cake. We like the dark fruit cake and he said he’d hold for me; I just had to get the cash and said I would be coming back.”

Me: *after I am finally able to say something after the unnecessary information* “Okay, well, let me go look around at the counters and see if we have it anywhere for you.” *after I get back from checking all the counters* “I’m afraid it’s not any of the counters; let me take to you where the fruit cakes are located.”

(I take the customer to the table where the remaining fruit cakes are located. Being holiday product, it’s 75% off and many people have bought the discounted product so there’s not much left. They are all light fruit cake boxes. The customer sees this and immediately starts yelling at me.)

Customer: “I DON’T LIKE THE LIGHT FRUIT CAKE! I LIKE THE DARK FRUIT CAKE! I WANT THE DARK FRUIT CAKE! HE SAID HE’D HOLD IT! I SAID I JUST HAD TO GET THE CASH AND I’D BE BACK AND HE SAID HE’D HOLD IT! GO TO H***!”

(At this point, my (seasonal) coworker comes over and asks me if she’d like me to help out and look behind the counter as well to which I nod yes.)

Me: *to customer* “I’m very sorry that this happened, ma’am.”

(My coworker goes to look and the customer follows her. I’m still by the fruit cake table. As the customer walks away, another customer, who heard the whole thing, comes up to me.)

Nice Customer: “Are you okay?”

Me: “Yes, thank you.I’ve had worse.”

(After the nice customer walks away, I use the phone so I can report the original customer to security off the premises. I’m about to make the phone call when my manager walks up.)

Manager: *handing me a money pouch, full of change* “This all we have in the store.”

Me: “Thanks. There’s an unruly customer in candy who told me ‘go to h***’ so I’m calling security.”

Manager: *before she leaves to go see what the customer looks like* “Do it.” *comes back and says to my coworker in wine* “Go check it out; she makes me look nice!”

(Ah, gotta love the holidays and the crazies they bring.)

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