A Very Large Closing Sign

| NJ, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(At our department store, we have overhead announcements at half-hour, fifteen, ten and five minutes before the store is closing, alerting customers to please bring all final purchases to the registers, etc. We also usually have one of the team leads (TLs) up by the front doors to let people know we’ll be closing soon and to please come back if it’s not a small, urgent purchase. The TL on the job this night is about 6’5″ and around 300 pounds, and this apparently happens at least three times a night whenever he’s given the duty.)

Team Lead: “Sorry, folks, we’re going to be closing soon.”

(He says this with a cheerful smile and a general gesture towards the exit doors; the would-be-customers end up looking TERRIFIED, and bolt out!)

Me: “[Team Lead], you’re not scary looking! Why do they freak out?”

Team Lead: “Apparently they’re not used to having someone that is too big to ignore tell them things!”


Why You Need Hazard Pay: Reason Number Two

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Bizarre, Popular

(I work as a general janitor in a department store. I’m near the upstairs bathrooms, which are usually pretty quiet.)

Woman: “Excuse me! Can I throw something in your trash bin?”

Me: “Of course!”

Woman: *pulls out of her purse, no baby in sight, a full diaper* “Thanks!”

(She dumped the diaper and walked away. I have SO many questions…)


Coupons Are More Taxing Than They’re Worth

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Popular

(I work at a department store that is well known for its ‘cash coupon’ deals–where for every fifty dollars you spend you earn a ten dollar coupon. Because the fifty dollars you must spend does not include taxes, occasionally people will be confused that their total was 50+ dollars but they did not earn a coupon. I try to provide ample warning if I see they are particularly close to earning a coupon.)

Me: *I have just finished ringing up her purchases* “Ma’am, I notice you are about three dollars away from earning a cash coupon. Would you like to add a chocolate bar to your purchase so you can meet the cut-off?”

Customer: “No, thank you. I’m fine. Here’s my card.”

Me: “All right, then, that’ll be [total] on your card. Here’s your receipt. Have a great day!”

Customer: “Where’s my coupon?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “My cash coupon! I spent fifty dollars. I should have gotten a coupon.”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. You have to spend fifty dollars before taxes to get a coupon. You were about three dollars short.”

Customer: “You should have told me!” *stomps off*


Can’t Scrub That Look Off Of You

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Popular

(Something about the way I look often makes fellow customers confuse me for a store employee. I’m walking with my wife through a store whose employees wear red and khaki. I am wearing light blue medical scrubs… A woman sees my wife walk away from me, walks quickly up to me, and nudges my left side with most of her body weight to get me to stop. She holds a sales flyer up to my chest, and talks demandingly.)

Customer: “Can you tell me why these things are-”

Me: *with a slight touch of attitude, pointing at my veterinary hospital’s logo* “I don’t work here…?”

(She then takes a step back, looks up and down my body twice, huffs loudly and rolls her eyes, then scurries away without another sound.)

Wife: *laughing* “Even in scrubs?”

Me: *laughing* “Even in scrubs…”


Should Have Read The Fine Print(er)

, | MI, USA | Crazy Requests, Technology

(I just get into work to find out our main printer is down again. It breaks about three times a week. Our backup printer is three times slower than our main but it works just fine.)

Customer: “How long will my pictures take?”

Me: “Unfortunately we’re on our backup printer, but I’d still say 15 – 20 minutes.”

(Our policy is a 15 minute guarantee for 120 pictures. But the guarantee is void if our main printer is down.)

Customer: “I can’t believe this! Every time I get pictures your printer is down! I asked him—“ *pointing to my coworker* “—if everything was working right today! He said yes!”

(Coworker overhears and steps in.)

Coworker: “You asked me if the computers were working fine, and they are. The printer just went down about 10 minutes ago.”

Customer: “I just can’t believe this!”

(A few minutes later my manager walks up.)

Manager: “That customer just complained to me at the service desk about our printer being down. I’m giving her 20% off her order.”

Me: “Okay.” *filling out our discount sheet* “So should I put for the reason for the discount that ‘the customer was whiny’?”

Manager: “Haha! No, don’t.”

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