(The customer returns $680 worth of purses.)

Me: “Okay… so that will be $680 going back onto your Visa card.”

Customer: “I can’t have cash?”

Me: “No, we can only do returns in the way that you made the purchase and it says here that you used your Visa card.”

Customer: “I just want the cash.”

Me: “I can only give you your money back in the way you paid. So $680 will be going back onto your Visa card.”

Customer: *looks at me like I’m stupid and calls her husband over*

Husband: “She just wants cash.”

Me: “Yes, well, if she had paid in cash I would be able to do that, but since she used her Visa card the money will be transferred back onto that account.”

Customer: “So, they are going to send me a check?”

Me: “No, the money just gets transferred back into your account.”

Husband: “But she already paid that.”

Me: “Exactly, and now that we are doing the return she will be getting that money back on her account.”

Husband: “So, they are going to be sending her a check.”

Me: “No, it will be transferred onto her Visa card.”

Husband: *looks at wife* “They will just send you a check.”

Me: “Okay… here’s your receipt. Thank you.”

(I work at the customer service desk at a very popular department store. It’s Halloween and we are allowed to dress up in full costumes as long as we aren’t gory, since we are very family friendly, and we aren’t wearing a mask over our face. I’m super into Halloween so of course I went all out with my deer costume with a wig, contacts, ears and a full face of makeup. When I come back from my lunch break, the coworker who is relieving me is talking to an older customer in his sixties. Both my coworker and I are in our early twenties.)

Customer: “You girls are all dressed up. I mean, look at you!” *motioning to me* “Wow, you look amazing!”

Me: “Well, thank you.”

Customer: “Seriously, you went all out! Did you do the makeup yourself?”

Me: *nods*

Customer: “That’s amazing! Wow. You just look so good.”

Me: “Thanks. Halloween is my favorite.”

(The customer goes quiet and stares at me for a bit as I become increasingly more uncomfortable as there are only so many times I can say thank you before it gets weird. After a few seconds I turn away and start cleaning the area and much to my relief he wanders away to bother my coworker on her fifteen minute break. Twenty minutes later he starts to head to the exit, which is near the service desk, and of course, he pauses again to stare.)

Customer: “I just really love your costume!”

Me: “Thank you again.”

Customer: “…I wish I could take a picture of it.”

(The customer proceeds to stand there in silence, staring at me again, and eventually I realize he is actually waiting for permission to take a picture.)

Me: “Umm… no, please don’t.”

Customer: *laughing* Oh darn! Well, have a good night.”

(The man FINALLY left and I gave my coworker a horrified look. She then told me he pretty much cornered her on her fifteen minute break and kept trying to get her number and only left after she agreed to take his number instead!)

(I do not speak Spanish. A Hispanic father and young son come up to my line.)

Me: “Hello! Did you find everything all right?”

Father: *in English* “Hi. Yes, we did.” *turns to young son and says in Spanish* “Say hello.” *he says the word ‘hello’ in English*

Boy: “Hola!”

Father: *still speaking in Spanish, but says the word ‘hello’ in English* “No, say ‘hello’!”

Boy: *looks at father in confusion* “I did say Hola!”

(I’m putting out stock in the electronics department when I overhear the following conversation between a co-worker and an older man carrying some groceries.)

Customer: “You’d better have a blu-ray copy of [Sci-Fi Movie that was released a few days prior] or I’m gonna shove this jar of peanuts up your a**.”

Coworker: “Well, sir, I personally prefer dry roasted peanuts, and those ones are honey roasted…”

(My coworker indicates a large display of the movie in question.)

Coworker: “…and here are 200 copies of [Movie], no more than a few feet away from where you are standing. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

(The customer grabs a movie and walks away quickly, pointedly not looking at my coworker.)

(I work in a department store, and overhear this while I am putting things away.)

Kid: “You’re going to buy this for me, or else! I’m ordering you to buy this for me. I’m going to get madder and madder if I don’t get it right now! I said, RIGHT NOW!”

(Never wanted to slap someone more in my life…)