(I work in the smallest size category location of a national chain. I hear Customer #1 and Customer #2 talking to each other across the aisle from me.)

Customer #1: “…don’t even have an upstairs or nothing?”

Customer #2: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Hello! Is there anything I can help you find?”

Customer #1: “Is this all there is?” *gestures vaguely at the store in general*

Me: “Yup, we’re the smallest possible size [Store].”

Customer #2: “So you don’t have like comforter sets or anything?”

Me: “Not here in the store. We can order them for you, and the bigger stores carry them, but we only have clothing, accessories, shoes, and jewelry in this location.”

Customer #1: “So where’s the nearest REAL [Store]?”

(I gave the customers the names of two towns, both an hour’s drive away, that have locations with the kind of merchandise they were looking for. But I WANTED to say, “This IS a real [Store]! I get a paycheck and everything!”)

(I am thirteen years old, My mom takes me on a trip to New York for a few days. We do some shopping, see a Broadway show, etc. and are having a great time. I was born and raised in the South, but my accent isn’t particularly thick. As we’re leaving a department store, I see a middle-aged woman behind us with her arms full of shopping bags. So, I do what I was taught and hold the door for her while my mom waits for me on the sidewalk.)

Woman: *stops halfway through the door and stares at me and says in a thick NY accent* “What do you want?”

Me: *surprised, since I’ve never had an adult get mad at me for holding a door before* “I’m sorry?”

Woman: *squints at me, still not moving* “What’s your problem?”

Me: “Uh… I was just holding the door for you, ma’am.”

Woman: “Humph. You’re from the south aren’t you?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Woman: “Who told you that you could just hold doors for people?”

Me: *completely confused by this point* “My mother.” *points to where she’s standing*

Woman: “Well, don’t just assume you can hold the door, and don’t you call me ma’am!” *finally walks away*

(I paused for a minute, considering how everything I’d been taught about how I should address adults was just trampled on. I decided she must had been having a bad day and went back to find my mom. Now, I’m not one to generalize about a group of people based on one person’s actions, and the rest of the New Yorkers we met that week were great! But I’ll probably never forget that one lady who got upset with me for being polite.)

(I’m buying some items while wearing a Hogwarts shirt.)

Employee: *pointing at my shirt* “Ooh! May the force be with you!”

Me: “Yup…”

(A sales specialist and a new trainee are working the last hour of their shift. Their store is attached to a shopping mall, but has multiple independent entrances. The mall has been closed for ten minutes, but the department store is still open for another hour. The large, cage door at the mall entrance has been closed. Multiple announcements were made regarding the closing of the mall doors. The specialist is folding clothes while the trainee is ringing up a female customer.)

Trainee: “[Specialist], this customer has a question that I’m not sure how to answer. Can you help me?”

Specialist: “Of course!” *the specialist turns to the customer* “What is your question, ma’am?”

Customer: “Can you tell me how to get out of this store?”

Specialist: “Sure! What department did you come through when you entered?”

Customer: “The shoe department at [Store that is on the opposite side of the mall]. Can you open the door to the mall so I can leave?”

Specialist: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t open that door once it’s locked. It’s a safety issue and a loss prevention issue.”

Customer: “Then how the h*** am I supposed to get to my car? This is ridiculous!”

Specialist: “Ma’am, our managers made announcements every five minutes for the last thirty minutes announcing that the mall door would be closing promptly at nine pm. Once those doors are closed, we cannot open them until the following business day. We gave more than enough warning that the doors would be closing.”

Customer: “I DON’T F****** CARE! I WAS STILL BROWSING WHEN THEY MADE THOSE ANNOUNCEMENTS! I WANT THAT DOOR OPEN NOW! I HAVE PLACES TO BE TONIGHT!”

Specialist: “[Trainee], please call [Manager] and see if she can open the mall door.”

(As the trainee calls the manager, the specialist can hear the customer muttering to her friend, who just walked up to the conversation. The two women can be heard saying degrading things about the specialist and how the store seems to only hire idiots.)

Trainee: “[Manager] wants me to bring them up to the main office so that they may assist in the situation.” *he turns to the customers* “If you’ll follow me upstairs, please.”

Customer: *to the specialist, obviously pleased to be personally escorted to meet with the managers* “If you weren’t such a b****, you’d know that THIS is how to treat a customer.”

Trainee: “Now, ma’am, that wasn’t necessary. [Specialist] informed you of our store policy. Our manager made multiple announcements about the doors closing. The only reason she wants to speak with you is because you obviously didn’t understand when [Specialist] told you, so she thinks that our security guards may be able to explain it in a way you’ll understand. Now, those mall doors will remain closed until tomorrow morning. How you get back to your vehicle is up to you.”

(I am the customer in this story. I am looking to buy a broom. It should also be noticed that I am a Harry Potter fan.)

Me: “Hi, could you please show me where the brooms are?”

Employee: “Sure! We have some here.”

(He leads me to a section with tons of brooms.)

Me: “Wow, there sure are a lot of options!”

Employee: “That’s right! If you want my advice, take this one. It’s like a Nimbus 2001, and the others are like Nimbus 2000s.”

(I laugh.)

Me: “Do you have any Firebolts?”

Employee: “We do have an excellent broom over here.” *leads me to another section that is empty* “Uh-oh, I think someone left their invisibility cloak over the brooms.”

Me: “That’s fine; I’ll take the Nimbus 2001.”

Employee: “Excellent choice. Happy flying!”