Doesn’t Understand Your Conversion Metric

| Home Improvement, Math & Science

(Our store usually prints dimensions on the packaging in centimetres and so the staff are used to older customers having trouble converting to inches. A customer approaches myself and another staff member.)

Customer: “Excuse me, could you help me work out this curtain size?”

Me: “Sure, what do you need?”

Customer: “Well, I need a length 2.28 metres but this one says 228 centimetres. How do I convert that?”

Returner Burner

, | USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Popular

(A customer walks up with some essential oils.)

Customer: “I have to return this; it’s been tampered with. You shouldn’t put this back on the shelf.”

Me: “Okay, would you like to just return it or would you like to exchange it?”

Customer: “I would like to exchange it.”

Me: “No problem! Just grab what you need and I’ll swap them for you!”

Customer: “NO. You need to grab it for me! I’ve had a very long day and I’m too tired for this!”

Me: “…Uh.”

(I remember that my coworker is behind the wall that we sort our returns, so I could leave to go grab it but if she wasn’t there then I wouldn’t have been able to.)

Me: “Sure…” *to coworker* “Hey [Coworker], I have to go grab something for a customer. I’ll be back in a second.”

(I run to go grab it and I’m quite perplexed by his attitude with me. Fortunately, one of my coworkers in that department helps me find it so I get back right away. I process his exchange.)

Customer: “Now, you better not put that one back on the shelf!”

Me: “Yep, and I double-checked to make sure that one wasn’t tampered with for you.”

Customer: “Thank you!” *leaves*

(One of my coworkers comes up to me.)

Coworker: “You should have just pretended like I wasn’t there. That’s what I would have done.”

Me: “I guess; I just didn’t want to make it more troublesome than he was making it out to be.”

Coworker: “I would have made it so awful for them. When people treat me like that, I purposely will make sure that the return will take much longer than it usually does. Such as, restarting the transaction over a few times.”

Me: “…I think, I’d rather just get them out of here as fast as possible so I don’t have to deal with them any longer.”

Coworker: “I’d rather stare them down and make them uncomfortable. I even do an overly happy/obnoxious voice just to make them mad.”

No Dress Is Worth This Price

| High Wycombe, England, UK | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s a few weeks until Christmas. I work for a small concession on the women’s clothing floor in an upmarket department store. A man holding a very large, rather hideous, full-length formal gown stops me.)

Customer: “I don’t know my partner’s size, so if it’s the wrong size, or she doesn’t like it, what can she do? But I don’t want her to know how much I spent.”

Me: “Okay, you can get a gift receipt when you purchase the dress. That way she won’t know how much the dress costs, and she can exchange the dress by herself.”

Customer: “But what if it’s a different price?”

Me: “Either the difference will have to be paid, or she will get a gift card with the rest of the money. Unfortunately, with a gift receipt; we can’t pay cash or put it on a card unless it’s the same card.”

Customer: “But then she will know how much the dress cost…”

Me: “She won’t know the exact price if you have a gift receipt, but if she needs another size, she will probably see the price tag.”

Customer: “But how do I stop her finding out what the price is?”

Me: “If she needs to change it, you could go with her?”

Customer: “But I don’t want to do that. I just don’t want her to find out the price.”

Me: “That’s what the gift receipt is for.”

Customer: “But if she changes it, and it’s a different price, she’ll know?”

(This went on for a while.)

Can’t Tarnish Your Christmas

, | PA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work in fine jewelry at a local department store. It’s about three weeks to Christmas and I notice a woman is looking in the sterling silver case and I go to help her.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Woman: “Yes, I am interested in that cross necklace there.”

(I proceed to pull out the cross she mentions and hand it to her to look at.)

Woman: “This chain is tarnished. Is there some kind of discount on it because it’s tarnished?”

Me: “I am not sure, but I can find out for you if you don’t mind waiting a moment.”

(She is fine with waiting so I call a manager and explain what is going on and show her the necklace.)

Manager: “See if you can get it clean for her but take an extra 15% off the sale price.”

(I proceed to grab the silver polishing rag and begin working on the chain. It’s obvious that the tarnish was going to come off so I worked on it then walk back down to the customer.)

Me: “Well, I’ve gotten the tarnish off for you.” *as I hand it to her to look at*

Woman: *takes the necklace but doesn’t really look at it* “I think you’re a lying little s***.”

(I am a bit stunned for a second because I’ve never had a customer say anything like that to me before.)

Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but I don’t appreciated being called a ‘lying little s***,’ especially when I was trying to help you out.”

(Needless to say she turned red when she realized another customer, who was standing right beside her, heard the whole thing. I sold her the necklace with the extra 15% and she left. I ended up having to stock something else in the store, when I came back I found a Christmas card that she had left for me as an apology.)

In The Market For Some Christmas Cheer

| London, England, UK | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I’m a cashier in the food hall. We’ve been busy with older customers as it’s the last ‘pension day’ before Christmas. A husband and wife come and stand close to my till. The husband begins cherry picking older customers, those with ‘lonely’ looking trolleys, and directing them to my till.)

Wife: *to first customer* “Merry Christmas!”

Customer: *huge smile* “Merry Christmas!”

Wife: “I hope you won’t be offended, but my husband and I would like to pay for your shopping.”

(The customer is stunned and can only stammer a thank you. The wife helps pack the shopping and pays on her card. They stand in the store for almost two hours and must have paid for about thirty people’s shopping. They chat with everyone and even hug people who ask! Watching customers leave with big smiles on their faces made me tear up more than once. My manager came over before they left to thank them for their generosity.)

Manager: “I have to ask, why do you feel the need to do such a thing?”

Husband: “When you give money to charity, you never know where it’s going. This way we know we’re helping the people who need it most.”

(Before they left they bought a case of wine which they left behind for the employees. From everyone they helped, and from all my colleagues, I’d like to say a massive thank you!)

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