Getting To The Root Of The Issue

, , , , | Healthy | January 24, 2018

(My dad’s a dentist and I am at his office to pick him up after work because his car is in the shop. His last patient for the day is a little boy of about seven, and the moment I get in I can hear the parents yelling at him.)

Mother: “What do you mean his teeth are rotten?! They can’t be!”

My Dad: “Madam, your son has an extreme case of tooth decay, which is why he’s been having terrible tooth pains. I can possibly mend some of them, but he’ll probably have to have the majority of them pulled.”

Mother: “I can’t believe this. How could this happen?”

My Dad: “Well, does he eat a lot of candy?”

Mother: “He doesn’t eat sugar.”

My Dad: “Do you give him anything at night?”

Mother: “Yes, we give him honey.”

(They got super angry with my dad when he told them that was why their kid had bad teeth.)

Unfiltered Story #102200

, | Unfiltered | December 27, 2017

(I work for an Internet provider, where customers can buy a “Special Service” so that we have to look at the case within 24 hours)
One day, 2 minutes before we close the Hotline on a Friday evening, I get a customer on the line, and I can see that he called earlier the same day.

Me: “Hello and welcome to [Internet Provider] Hotline, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “Hello, I would like to report a broken modem, and I want I changed now.”

Me: “Hello there. I can that you call earlier today and made the same request, and my colleague has tested the modem to be just fine, and book and technician for next Friday to you?”

Customer:”NO, that not good enough. I called last week when the same problem occurred and you fixed it, right on the spot. And now I demand you to do the same right now!”

Me: “Sir, As far as I can see, my colleague today did the exact same thing as last time, but since that didn’t work, we need to get a technician to look at it.
Customer:”You cannot fool me. Because I just called one of your coworkers in the customers service and brought the Special Service! So now you have to come and look at it before tomorrow!”
(At this point, he is practically yelling at me)

Me: “Sir please calm down, and stop yelling at me, I hear you just fine. I can’t do what you asked me to do, because that Service need to be brought at least 24 hours before, so it is not possible for me to make a new case on this, you have to wait for next Friday”

Customer:  “You [imagine a lot of Danish swearword] when I say you make a new case you f***** do it! Last week you people made it work right on the spot! Now you only do this to get more money out of me!”

(This continues for close to 10 minutes without him listing to me at all, and just shouting and yelling at me, with all kinds of random threats)

Customer: “I demand to talk to your manager!”

Me: “alright, I will pass the information down to him and he will call you sometimes tomorrow.

I spoke to my manager afterwards and he just laughed because we did everything right and it was all within the term of agreement. We had a wonderful laugh at the Call center afterwards because of it.

YouTube Was The Greatest Creation Of The Renaissance

, , , | Right | December 19, 2017

(I am working the information desk at our library when a woman in her mid-20s comes up to me.)

Patron: “Hi. I found a song on YouTube called The Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven, and I wanted to know if you had it on CD?”

Me: “Well, certainly, just—”

Patron: “But it has to be the original. All the CDs I’ve found only have cover numbers. You see, I’m a piano teacher, and I want to show it to the kids.”

Me: “There is no ‘original’ Moonlight Sonata.”

Patron: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, he was from the 1700s.”

Patron: “But why isn’t there an original?”

Me: “Because… you couldn’t record back then?”

Patron: “I know, but I thought maybe you had it on CD?”

Me: “I can assure you, there does not exist an ‘original’ Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven, anywhere.”

Patron: “But I found it on YouTube!”

(I ended up having her show me the song on YouTube and showing her the name of the artist playing it. She still didn’t look convinced.)

You’re All Equally Poorly Received

, , , | Right | December 13, 2017

(I work in an amusement park. Normally children are happy, but the parents will cause you a lot of trouble, because everything suddenly is YOUR fault, even though it’s not. I’m at the entrance to the outdoor water play area which is divided into two parts: the big area and the small one. To enter the big one, children under the age of five must be with a responsible adult, and the adult has to shower completely and take their shoes off first, for hygienic reasons. All these rules are clearly stated at more than one sign. A dad is coming up to the entrance, along with a very small girl who is wearing a swimming diaper.)

Me: “Hello there!” *to the girl* “How old are you, my friend?”

(She holds up three fingers.)

Dad: “She is three and a half, actually.”

Me: “Well, people under the age of five must be accompanied by an adult, and—”

Dad: “Yes, yes, I’ll go with her!”

Me: “…but then you have to shower first—” *points at sign right next to me* “—for hygienic reasons. So, I’ll recommend that you change to swimwear.”

Dad: “But I don’t have swimwear! Don’t be a fool and let my daughter in!”

Me: “I can’t, sorry. But you can take her to the small play area. You don’t have to shower to take her.”

Dad: “But she wants to go in there! Why can’t she?”

Me: “Because she isn’t five yet. Children under the age of five must be accompanied by an adult, as stated at the sign over there.”

Dad: “But what about that girl? She clearly isn’t five, either!”

Me: “Well, I don’t know about that, but her parents told me she was, so I have to believe them.”

Dad: “So, can’t I just tell you she’s also five?!”

Me: “You already told me otherwise, so I would know you were lying. I’m very sorry, but I can’t let her in without an adult.”

(At this point it gets very annoying having to explain the same thing over and over again.)

Dad: “It’s because of our color, isn’t it?” *the family is Indian*

Me: “Excuse me?!”

Dad: “You heard me. You just don’t want people like us in here.”

Me: “No, believe me. I’m treating you just as poorly as I’m treating the rest of our guests. I’m just following the rules, and I’ll do my very best to make you do the same!”

(The guests left, angrily. My manager told me to maybe phrase it another way next time.)

It’s “Just” Behind-The-Counter Banter

, , , | Working | December 6, 2017

(It’s my first day as a sales assistant, and I’m being shown around by another employee. As my manager exits the stockroom, this happens. I am one of only two female employees. My manager is male.)

Me: “All right, I’m ready to work. Where do you want me?”

Manager: *completely deadpan* “Behind the counter, but we’ll do that during lunch.” *wink*

Other Employee: *snickers*

Me: “Do I get hazard payment for that?”

Manager: *laughs loudly* “I think you’ll do just fine here.”

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