Comeback To That Comeback

, , , , , , | Related | October 17, 2017

(I don’t catch the first part of this conversation, but the gist of it is: My brother-in-law makes a comment to my niece, she makes a comeback, and is told off for it with this parenting gem.)

Sister: “I don’t care if you’re insulting, just so long as you’re witty! Now, something that might have made a better comeback..” *whispers into [Niece]’s ear*

Niece: “Okay. Daddy, can you say it again?”

Brother-In-Law: “[Niece], I have a bag here; I’d like you to put your attitude into it.”

Niece: “Silly Daddy, my attitude wouldn’t be able to fit.”

Wearing Me Out

, , , , | Learning | September 28, 2017

(At a “How To Get A Job” course, we’re talking about interviews and how to dress for them.)

Lecturer: “How do you know how to dress to suit a given job?”

Student #1: “You could call and ask.”

Student #2: *mimes holding a phone* “Hi. What are you wearing?”

That’s My Doodle And I’m Stick-Figuring To It

, , , | Learning | August 24, 2017

(I have gotten some comments from a teacher on a paper I am writing, and see the start of one above a word, so I write an email with a question about it.)

Me: “Above the word ‘stability’ you have made a small doodle which looks like it could be either a dancing stick-figure or a drunk swastika.”

Teacher: “What an imagination!”

Hammering Home The Need To Check Beforehand

, , , | Related | July 26, 2017

(I’m about three or four. My dad tinkers a lot with motorcycles and the like. I love “helping,” usually by putting little rocks in the exhaust pipe. I’ve been allowed to “help” by hammering on an old fuel-tank, and happily hammer away, with a small child size hammer, and with my dad’s supervision. I get bored and walk outside where my dad’s chopper is. Soon I return saying:)

Me: “Not hammer Daddy’s chopper, yes?”

(My dad flew up in panic, thinking I had hammered on his shiny chopper. I hadn’t, but apparently he wanted to confirm it!)

The Fall Of A Family

, , , , | Related | July 17, 2017

(A few days earlier my father had an accident. A staircase collapsed under him, and there was some worry that he had a fracture on his spine. Luckily he escaped with just a concussion and a few stitches on the back of his head. This is the third time in five years that he has fallen on a staircase and gotten hurt at home. He has decided that he is okay to visit his mother for her birthday, as it will be a small party and he can leave early. During lunch this conversation happens:)

Mother: “He has now fallen on the stairs to the first floor and broken his ankle. He has fallen on the stairs to the front door, and dislocated his arm. This time it was the stairs to the basement and his head. Maybe he should just avoid the stairs all together.”

Grandmother: “Poor man, he is so unlucky. Isn’t it your turn to fall soon?”

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