A Scrabble To Find The Scribbler

, , , , , , | Working | April 29, 2019

(At the factory where I work, coworkers suddenly start writing “funny” messages on the doors and walls of our toilets. It turns out it’s some kind of contest between them. Clearly, management isn’t thrilled, and issues a memo that if anyone is caught in the act they’ll be fired on the spot. But since these are toilets, it is illegal to install camera surveillance. Without any means of surveillance, the memo has no effect and the walls and doors get smeared with more new “funnies” every day. One day, the maintenance department thinks they’ve found a solution in a paint that is supposed to be resistant against all sorts of pens, markers, crayons, etc. They invite a salesman to demonstrate the product. The man comes in with a lot of samples and we all get to try to write on the samples with anything we can come up with: markers, pens, lipstick, pencils, and even spray paint. Nothing sticks to the samples. The salesman cleans every sample without any effort.)

Head Maintenance: “That’s nice. But I want to see this stuff on one door of our toilets.”

Salesman: “Sure you can. I’ll treat one of your doors with our product, but you’ll have to sign this order for it first.”

Head Maintenance: “There’s no way I’m going to buy a product if I haven’t tested it in real life. That’s why we asked for a demonstration in the first place. We’re done.”

(Management found a cheaper solution. They painted the toilets and hired someone to clean the toilets whenever workers used them. That man also checked the toilets for new scribbles. As a result, two coworkers were fired. The walls and doors stayed clean.)

 

It Took Five Hours To Ruin His Whole Business

, , , , , , , | Working | February 8, 2019

This happened twenty years ago. I was a truck driver driving a fixed route of deliveries to several factories in the country. Mobile phones weren’t as common as they are now, so when I was on the road there was no way for my boss to contact me. It was normal for me to leave my boss’s place at 0700 and not return before 1900. Sometimes it would happen that my boss would phone one of the addresses on my route to leave me a message: pick up a load at that address, don’t deliver the load at that address but at that address, etc.

One day I came back, parked the van, and went into the office to hand in the car keys as usual.

My boss told me that my wife had called and that it sounded serious. Of course, I called my wife, and she told me that her father had died five hours ago and she needed me to come home. I asked her when she called my boss. She told me she had called five hours ago and told the boss.

I hung up and asked the boss why he didn’t relay the message five hours ago. He told me that he’d considered that, but he knew that I would return home immediately and that would be very inconvenient for him. And as my father-in-law was dead already it wouldn’t make any difference if I finished my route.

He didn’t see me leave because he was KO’d on the floor. I never returned to the place. I started work with another company one week later. I told them when I applied why I was looking for a new job, and they didn’t have any problems with me hitting a jerk in the face. I did have to go to court, but that was to get my outstanding pay, which I did.

I also made a call to the Dutch Bureau for Taxes about tax fraud, about having five different vans on the road on one license plate, about double sets of books, and about shipments of “medicinal herbs” to certain warehouses.