Giving Them A 1-2-1 About 121

, , , , , | Working | May 24, 2019

My dad owns two properties right next door to each other: one which we live in, and one which he rents out to my great uncle, who is deaf and communicates via sign language. For the sake of simplicity, they’ll be referred to as 121 and 127, respectively. 121 has a long, winding driveway while 127 has a straight driveway. The driveway on 127 is located just enough between the two houses that it could be interpreted as a shared driveway. This is compounded by the fact that, for some reason, the mailboxes for 121 and 127 are both located on 127’s driveway. This has resulted in many deliveries intended for 121 instead being delivered to 127. It’s not much of an issue until the delivery day of a particularly important package.

The driver delivering this package is by far the biggest offender in mixing up addresses. Today is no exception; he attempts to deliver the package to 127 instead of 121 while I’m at work. I return home to find no package. Upon checking the tracking, I notice that the package’s status is listed as “could not be delivered.” I ask my sister if anyone came, but she tells me that nobody did, so I go over to my great uncle. He tells me that someone tried to deliver the package to 127. He tried to tell them that it had to go to 121, but apparently, the driver did not understand sign language, so he put the package back in the van and left.

Annoyed, I call the company and explain the situation to the rep on the other end. They tell me that the driver claimed the package was refused and that it was actually getting ready to go back! I tell them to try delivering it again and they agree. I go into painstaking detail about which house it needs to be delivered to, and that the driveway for 121 is winding, not straight. The representative tells me that they will inform the driver about the details.

I have the following day off, so I stay home to make sure it will be delivered to the correct house. I also ask my great uncle to accept my package and hold it for me in case the company tries to deliver it to him again. Incredibly, even with the specific instructions, they once again attempt to deliver it to 127! After collecting the package from my great uncle, I call the delivery company again and file a complaint against the driver. They tell me that they will put notes for all future deliveries to 121 that the driveway is not shared.

Unfortunately, that specific driver wasn’t fired, and he still insists on delivering packages addressed as 121 to 127 to this very day. I’ve tried everything: having notes added to packages, putting very clear numbers on each house’s respective driveways, and even getting permission from the post office to put 121’s mailbox on 121’s driveway. None of it has gotten through to that specific driver. At this point, it’s honestly a miracle that he’s still working for the delivery company.

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She’s Got A Ticket To Bribe

, , , , , | Working | February 27, 2018

(I work as a delivery driver, so I sometimes stop in awkward places, such as permit-only bays. One day I have to stop in such a place. I make my delivery as quick as possible, but when I come out I see a traffic warden eyeing up my van, about to give me a ticket.)

Me: “Hey, sorry. I was just delivering a parcel. I’m just leaving.”

Traffic Warden: “I’ve started doing the ticket now, mate. Sorry.”

(I look at my watch and it’s nearly lunchtime.)

Me: “It’s nearly midday. If I give you a chocolate bar and a can of soda, could you possibly turn a blind eye to this?”

Traffic Warden: *thinks for a moment* “Okay, just this once.”

(He walked off with the food and I got in my van, happy I got away without a parking ticket. But as I drove off, I realised I gave him my own lunch!)

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A New Kind Of China Syndrome

, , , | Right | October 22, 2017

(I drive a delivery truck. I hand over an international package to a residence, so it requires a signature. A lady comes to the door.)

Lady: *as she’s signing* “What exactly am I signing for?”

(I give a standard answer indicating I don’t know the contents of the package, but I verify that I am at the correct address, and that the person named on the package does indeed live there. She confirms that she is the person to whom it was addressed.)

Lady: “Who sent it to me?”

Me: *looking at the label* “Uh… Not sure, but it’s coming from China…” *spots a packing list and sees “contents: 1 dress”* “…and it seems to be a dress.”

Lady:China? I ordered a dress from the Internet, not China!”

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Trying To Fulfill Your Delivery Period

, , , , , , | Working | October 17, 2017

(I work as a delivery driver for a well-known supermarket. I’m 25 and male but quite familiar with the concept of a woman’s period and tampons. I’m training a new driver, and our current customer appears to have placed an “emergency order,” since their shopping only contains a box of tampons, some tea bags, and some chocolate. I look to my trainee and say:)

Me: “Okay, this next customer has a small order, but my advice is be patient. If she doesn’t answer the door right away, give it a few. She probably won’t want to be wound up.”

Trainee: “Why, is she a b****? Have you delivered before?”

Me: “Umm, no. Just look at the receipt, mate; it’s quite obvious what’s going on here.”

(The trainee looks at the receipt long and hard, but it doesn’t appear to sink in. Eventually I take pity on him.)

Me: “She might be on her period; she’s bought tampons, chocolate, and tea.”

Trainee:What!? I ain’t going near that! It’s disgusting!”

(He refused to even leave the van to make the delivery and generally acted like I might have caught some kind of taint just by being around a woman who may or may not have been on her period.)

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A Drive Towards Technological Dependence

, , , , , | Working | August 23, 2017

(I’m waiting in for my husband’s new car to be delivered. Note: we live on a new estate that doesn’t always show up on old sat nav maps.)

Driver: *calling* “Hi, yeah, I’m looking for your house but it’s not on my sat nav. Are you on [Newly Built Estate]?”

Me: “Yeah, that’s right. Don’t worry, we’re used to this. I can give you directions.

Driver: Well I’m at [Supermarket] car park.” *about half a mile away* “I can leave the car here for you. Can you come and pick it up?”

Me: “No, I can’t. You’re supposed to deliver it to the house. Look, I’ll give you instructions; we’re easy to find.”

Driver: “I can’t drive without a sat nav! You’ll have to come and collect it. I’ll leave the keys in the visor.”

Me: “No! For one, that car’s not insured yet, and two, I don’t have a driving licence! So here’s the directions…”

(He found us with no trouble, in about the same amount of time it took him to argue with me.)

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