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When The Owner Takes Only Their Payment, Not Their Crap

, , , , , | Right | November 6, 2020

I work at a VERY small deli, and I am the only employee other than the owner. I am running the register and cleaning tables while the owner is making the food. A customer enters.

Customer: “I want a ham and cheddar cheese on white, with every vegetable you got, and mustard.”

Owner: “Gladly!”

She quickly and efficiently makes the sandwich exactly as the customer requested. He pays, finds a table, and stuffs the whole sandwich down his piehole in about forty seconds.

Customer: “That was disgusting! I want a refund!”

Owner: “Door’s to your left.”

Customer: “I said I want a refund!”

Owner: “Door’s to your left.”

Customer: “I want a refund right now!

Owner: “I want to be a billionaire. Door’s to your left.”

Customer: “I know the—”

Owner: “You do not. Door’s to your left.”

The customer, realizing he wasn’t going to get his way, turned to his left, gave the door a kick on the way out, and never returned.


This story is part of our Best Of November 2020 roundup!

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Malicious Compliance, One Gram At A Time

, , , , , | Right | October 30, 2020

I’ve worked retail for a long time and thought I had seen almost everything, but every now and then, a customer will surprise me with their outlandish demands and complaints.

I am serving at a dual counter where the deli products are, as well as the tills for checkout. It isn’t a busy period of the day, which is probably why we got away with this little game. My manager for the day is a friend from high school and he is firm but fair with a wicked sense of humour.

A regular who is known for being unbearably rude and condescending approaches the deli and makes her request for approximately 300g of cheerio frankfurts. Anyone who has worked a deli knows that it can be difficult to get exact weights, and most customers are understanding of this. Not this woman. I bag up just under the specified weight and she demands I do it again. And again. And again. On the fourth attempt, she starts screaming at me: “Useless, lazy, uneducated, f*** you, f*** this, f*** that, so on and so forth…”

I am rather shocked at how quickly she went from rude to tyrant. My manager, however, has watched the entire exchange from the nearby office and now approaches.

Manager: “Hey, couldn’t help but notice… What seems to be the issue?”

Rude Regular: “This little b**** can’t bag up f****** cheerios and I want this fixed now!

Manager: “No worries. How much would you like?”

Rude Regular: *Sneering at me* “I want 300g. No more, no less. She can’t seem to understand that simple request and I want her fired!”

My manager ignores the petulant demand to fire me and proceeds to start bagging up cheerios. As soon as he gets to just below the weight, he stops.

Manager: “I think I can see the problem. You are correct in your assumption that she cannot supply you with what you’ve requested. Only management can do this next step.”

The rude customer is now looking as though Christmas has come early, until my manager pulls out a pair of deli scissors… and proceeds to cut up a final frankfurt into small chunks. He then pops it in the bag one piece at a time while dramatically checking and rechecking the scale’s display until it hits 300g.

Then, he inputs the product code, which in most deli’s will automatically drop the weight reading between two to five grams to make up for the weight of the paper or container. Most customers don’t realise this is a thing and it’s designed that way so that customers don’t get charged for the packaging.

This drops the weight back to below 300g. The woman looks ready to explode, but my manager then holds up a single finger in a “wait a second” gesture. He then dramatically picks up the final piece of this mangled frankfurt, dropping it ceremoniously into the bag.

The final readout? 300g exactly.

She was NOT impressed, but I sure was.

Only then did she realise that if she had simply let me finish the code input, she would have had exactly 300g without having the final frank chopped into itty-bitty pieces.

Maybe next time she will be a little more courteous.

A Pound And A Half Of Jerkface

, , , , | Right | October 16, 2020

I only have four days left at my current store before I transfer to another. There’s a rude customer that comes by once a week to get ham shaved. Ham is really hard to shave.

He wants a pound and a half of honey turkey this time, which is so close to ham that it’s just as hard to shave. I put it on the scale; it is 1.535 lbs.

Customer: “I wanted a pound and a half.”

Me: “Sir, that is a pound and a half.”

Customer: “No. I want exactly 1.500.”

I sigh and take off little pieces until it’s exactly that. The printer is, of course, out of labels. So, I carry it to the other one and he follows me. For some reason, the other printer adds an extra .15.

Customer: “Why is that one weighing different?!”

Me: “I don’t know, sir. Maybe they need to be calibrated. Don’t worry; I’ll fix it.”

I adjust it so it’s exactly 1.500 and hand it to him.

Me: “Here you go.”

Customer:Why was it different?!”

Me: “Sir, I don’t know. I charged you only for exactly the pound and the half you asked for.”

I turn to my coworker, not hiding the attitude in my voice.

Me: “I’m going home.”

I’m often commended on how polite I am to customers, but this guy gets off on bullying retail workers. I walked away and he looked like I had slapped him. I hope he comes in next week to lodge a complaint; I won’t be there.

Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 40

, , , , | Right | October 1, 2020

It is almost nine pm. I’m doing the last of the cleaning before I go home.

Customer: “I’d like a chicken strip meal with rice.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, the hot counter is closed for the night.”

Customer: “Okay, then, I’ll just have the strips.”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but the counter is closed. There is no hot food available at all.”

Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know there was no food?! You should make it clearer!”

I look at the sign stating it closes at eight and then at the dark, empty counter.

Me: “I’ll be sure to pass that on, sir.”

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 39
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 38
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 37
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 36
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 35

A Two Too Much, Part 2

, , , , | Right | September 2, 2020

I work in a deli/convenience store where you have to order your sandwich on a touch-screen. Some customers get confused about this, especially if they’re not from the area, so I’m used to coming around to help.

Customer: “How do I order two of the same sandwich?”

Me: “You have to order it on the screen. Pick lunch and dinner.”

Customer: “But how do I order two?”

Me: “I’m getting there. Do you want a hot or cold hoagie?”

Customer: “I want two.”

Me: “You can change the quantity at the end but you need to pick what kind of hoagie you want first.”

Customer: *Picks cold hoagies* “How do I get two?”

Me: “What kind of meat do you want sir?”

Customer: *Picks Italian* “How do I get two?”

Me: “We’re almost there. Just pick the toppings you want.”

Customer: *Picks toppings* “How do I get two?”

Me: “Hit ‘update quantity.’”

The customer hits update quantity and buttons with numbers appear.

Customer: “How do I get two?”

Me: “Just hit the two.”

The customer hits the four and completes the order.

Me: “Okay, sir, you can pay with your slip at the front.”

Customer: “Thank you!”

The customer goes to pay. I go to the deli and make the four sandwiches he ordered. I call his order number when they are ready, placing the sandwiches on the counter.

Customer: “Why the f*** are there four sandwiches? I wanted two!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you ordered four and paid for four, so that’s what I had to make.”

Customer: “Well, you did a terrible job of telling me how to get two sandwiches if I ended up with four!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. But you paid for four sandwiches so these are all yours.”

Customer: “Well, I only want two!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir.”

I start buzzing for the manager.

Me: “We can give you a refund on two of them if you want.”

Customer: “No, forget it. The cashier is probably just as f****** stupid as you are!”

He took two of the sandwiches and stormed out.

Related:
A Two Too Much