Easy To Label The Problem Customers

, | Erie, PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(Instead of repeatedly having to tell customers prices, we have case tags with the name and price listed in front of each product. A customer walks up and I go up to the counter to greet him.)

Me: “Hello! What can I get you today?”

Customer: “Yes, hello. I would like a half pound of this bologna.”

(He walks over to the case that has several different kinds of bologna in it. The case tags are clearly labeled in front of each product. I politely ask again which product he wanted.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, which one did you want? We have [Name Brand #1], [Name Brand #2], and [Name Brand #3].”

Customer: “This one.”

Me: “Sir, I can not see which one you’re pointing to.”

(The man starts to glare at me. He points once again.)

Customer: “THIS… ONE…”

(Finally giving up on the hope he’ll actually say brand of bologna he wants, I walk around the counter to the front.)

Me: “I apologize. Which one did you want?”

(Without speaking, he points to the bologna he wanted.)

Me: “Oh, the [Brand Name] beef bologna.”

Customer: “YES! I’ve been pointing to THAT one.”

(I slice the desired amount of meat for the gentleman and thank him for shopping with us. My coworker then walks up to me.)

Coworker: “That’s okay… I had someone completely ignore the label and ask for the white circle cheese.”

Needs To Seriously Self Check Out Of Campus

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, School

(Customer #1 is in line ahead of Customer #2, and is buying a large amount of instant coffee, instant noodles, and candy.)

Customer #1: “D***! This stupid credit card thing can’t read my card.”

Clerk: “Try it again, sir, and move the card slowly and evenly.”

Customer #1: “Nope! This f****** thing is broken.”

Customer #2: “How’s studying for finals going?”

Customer #1: “Uh… Not well. Why?”

Customer #2: “Because you’re trying to pay with your student ID.”

(Customer #1 stares at the card for a long time.)

Customer #1: “I haven’t left campus in way too long.”

The Answer To Their Own Question

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Books & Reading, Food & Drink, Top

(Today all my customers have been placing the exact same order, so I decide to have fun with the next one who comes in.)

Me: “Hello. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi! Can I have—”

Me: “A pound of [Brand] oven roasted turkey? Sliced thin?”

Customer: “Um, yes…”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Coming right up.”

(I slice the turkey for her and hand it to her.)

Me: “Would you like anything else today?”

Customer: “Can I also have—”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. One pound of [Brand] white American cheese, coming up.”

(Her eyes go wide but she doesn’t say anything. I look through the cold case but don’t find an open package of the cheese.)

Me: “Oh, looks like I need to open a new package. One moment, please.”

(I step out from behind the counter and open up the door on the front of the case to get a new package of cheese.)

Customer: “Wow! I didn’t know—”

Me: “That’s okay. Most people don’t know the doors open from the front.”

(Her eyes get even wider. I try not to snicker as I slice her cheese.)

Me: “Aaaaand there you go. Will that be all for you, ma’am?”

Customer: “What number am I—”

Me: “42.”

(She snatches the cheese and runs out the front door at full speed.)

Coworker: “How did you know what number she was thinking?”

Me: “Douglas Adams, dude. 42 is always the answer.”

Coworker: “You’re sick, man.”

Me: “I knew you’d say that.”