Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

As Long As It Tastes Like Chicken

, , | Right | August 19, 2008

Me: “Hello, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Lady: “I’d like a half-pound of ham.”

(I slice the ham, wrap it, and hand it over.)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am.”

(She opens up the package, sniffs the ham, and makes a face).

Me: “Is there something wrong with the ham?”

Lady: “Yes. It smells very hammy.”

Me: “Am I to understand that you’re complaining that our ham smells like ham?”

Lady: *walks away in a huff*


This story is part of the Peculiar Customers roundup!

Read the next Peculiar Customers roundup story!

Read the Peculiar Customers roundup!

Fowl Behavior, Part 2

, , , , | Right | August 13, 2008

(At the deli where I work, every couple hours I cook up between 12 and 20 whole chickens. They’re kept in the hot holding cabinet for customers to grab.)

Customer: “I need ten.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “These whole chickens. I need ten of them.”

Me: “I’m sorry, that’s all we have, because we’re closing soon.”

Customer: *rolls her eyes and takes absolutely everything left out of the holding cabinet*

(Another customer approaches me soon afterward.)

Another Customer: “Excuse me, that lady just grabbed a chicken out of my hands, claiming it was hers. Will there be any more?”

(Yes, that’s right. The first lady was going around taking chickens from other customers. Unbelievable.)

The Infomercials Must Love You

, , , , , | Right | July 22, 2008

(A customer comes up to the register with her sandwich purchase, which had sun-dried tomatoes on it.)

Customer: “Do you make the sun-dried tomatoes here?”

Me: *jokingly* “Yes, we have several lawn chairs in back. We cut the tomatoes into little strips and leave them out there for a week or two. ”

Customer: “Really?!”

Me: “No, I was just kidding. We get them from a distributor. ”

Customer: “Well, that’s not nice of you at all! When I was growing up I was always taught to believe things I was told by salespeople!”


This story is part of the Humorless Customers roundup!

Read the next Humorless Customers roundup story!

Read the Humorless Customers roundup!

One Track Rind

, , | Right | June 5, 2008

Customer: “Yes, I’d like twenty slices.”

Me: “Would you like that thinly or regularly sliced, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, twenty slices.”

Me: “Okay, and how would you like your twenty slices sliced, ma’am?”

Customer: “Twenty slices.”

Me: “Ma’am, would you like those slices THIN or REGULAR?”

Customer: “Yes, twenty slices.”

Me: “Alright, regular it is.”

Singleminded

, , | Right | January 31, 2008

Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah I’d like a pound of cajun chicken.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry cajun chicken, would you like some buffalo chicken in substitute?”

Customer: “Which cajun chicken do you have?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t serve cajun chicken.”

(My night manager is standing next to me. This guy goes on three more times, calm as can be, demanding cajun chicken.)

Manager: “Sir… we don’t… would you like the Santa Fe chicken?”

Customer: “I’d like the cajun chicken; where is your cajun chicken?”

Me: *facepalm*

Manager: *slices Santa Fe chicken and wishes him a nice day*