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The Infomercials Must Love You

, , , , , | Right | July 22, 2008

(A customer comes up to the register with her sandwich purchase, which had sun-dried tomatoes on it.)

Customer: “Do you make the sun-dried tomatoes here?”

Me: *jokingly* “Yes, we have several lawn chairs in back. We cut the tomatoes into little strips and leave them out there for a week or two. ”

Customer: “Really?!”

Me: “No, I was just kidding. We get them from a distributor. ”

Customer: “Well, that’s not nice of you at all! When I was growing up I was always taught to believe things I was told by salespeople!”


This story is part of the Humorless Customers roundup!

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One Track Rind

, , | Right | June 5, 2008

Customer: “Yes, I’d like twenty slices.”

Me: “Would you like that thinly or regularly sliced, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, twenty slices.”

Me: “Okay, and how would you like your twenty slices sliced, ma’am?”

Customer: “Twenty slices.”

Me: “Ma’am, would you like those slices THIN or REGULAR?”

Customer: “Yes, twenty slices.”

Me: “Alright, regular it is.”

Singleminded

, , | Right | January 31, 2008

Me: “How can I help you today, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah I’d like a pound of cajun chicken.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t carry cajun chicken, would you like some buffalo chicken in substitute?”

Customer: “Which cajun chicken do you have?”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t serve cajun chicken.”

(My night manager is standing next to me. This guy goes on three more times, calm as can be, demanding cajun chicken.)

Manager: “Sir… we don’t… would you like the Santa Fe chicken?”

Customer: “I’d like the cajun chicken; where is your cajun chicken?”

Me: *facepalm*

Manager: *slices Santa Fe chicken and wishes him a nice day*

Kids, This Is Why You Stay In School

, , , | Right | November 23, 2007

Customer: “I’d like five pork chops, wrapped in twos.”

Me: “Do you mean two packages?”

Customer: “No, I want five pork chops, wrapped in twos.”

Me: *blank stare*

Customer: *heavy sigh* “Five chops, wrapped two, two and one. See, wrapped in twos.”

Would You Like French Resistance Fries With That?

, , , | Right | October 20, 2007

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Elderly Customer: “SIX OF THE ENEMY, PLEASE!”

Me: “…Sorry?”

Elderly Customer: “Six of the German frankfurts!”

Me: “Oh, right…”


This story is part of our Shocking Old People roundup!

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