Hey, [His Name]

, | Australia | At The Checkout, Funny Names

(At my deli we have a worker named Naim. We pronounce it exactly the same as the word ‘name.’)

Customer: “How long till the hot chickens come out?”

Coworker #1: “I’m not sure. Hey, Naim, do you know?”

Coworker #2: “Half an hour, I think—”

Customer: “That’s INCREDIBLY rude! Are you just too lazy to learn his name?”

Coworker #2: “But… that is my name.”

(He shows the customer his name tag, and she immediately brightens and apologises.)

Coworker #1: *starts laughing* “If I call anyone Nametag then I’ll be in trouble.” *turns to me* “Right, Nametag?”

(I can’t help but giggle, and the customer just rolls her eyes and walks away.)

Taking The Ham-Fisted Approach

, | Australia | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

(I work in a supermarket deli, and whilst we’ve never had any real problem customers, we do get plenty who come across as a little dim. One of my coworkers is getting sick of it.)

Coworker: “I don’t get it. How many people can there possibly be who can’t just READ the labels?”

(At this point, a customer walks up.)

Customer: “I want that ham.”

Coworker: “Sorry, which one?”

Customer: *points* “That ham.”

Coworker: “I can’t see where you’re pointing.”

Customer: *points again* “That ham.”

Coworker: “I can’t see where you’re pointing. Which ham are you pointing to?”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “That ham.”

(My coworker indicates to the top of the case, which is metal, she starts talking very slowly.)

Coworker: “See this? This is metal. I can’t see through metal! You’re going to have to READ the label.”

Customer: *points frantically* “Right there! That ham!”

(At this point, my coworker gives up, grabs a random ham, weighs it up and hands it to the customer, who snatches it and walks away. My coworker turns to me, wide-eyed.)

Coworker: “I’ll be surprised if I don’t get a complaint for that…”

Me: *shakes head* “You’re crazy.”

(After that outburst she was in a much better mood. She never did get a complaint but she scared herself into being a little more patient after that.)

Genetically Modified Turkey

| MI, USA | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Geeks Rule

Customer: “Hi, yes, could I please have a pound of mystique turkey please?”

Me: *not quite catching what they said* “I’m sorry, did you say mesquite turkey?”

Customer: “Yes, mystique turkey!”

Me: “Actually, it’s mesquite smoked turkey, Mystique is a character in X-Men.”

Customer: “Yeah, yeah, just get me some mystique turkey, please.”

Me: “Mystique turkey coming right up! And I’ll change it blue for you, too!”