Germaniac

, | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, History, Popular, Religion

(I’m slicing meat for a customer. I notice he’s wearing a shirt with a cartoon leprechaun flipping the middle finger and holding a half-empty glass of beer.)

Me: “Nice shirt.”

Customer: “Oh, this? Yeah, I’m Irish, so…”

Me: “I kinda figured.”

Customer: “What about you?”

Me: “Well, my ancestors were mostly German—”

(Suddenly the customer stomps his feet together, stands at attention, and does the Nazi salute.)

Customer: “SIEG HEIL! SIEG HEIL!”

Me: “—Jews. German Jews.”

Customer: “Oh.”

Way Too Chicken For That

, | England, UK | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Bizarre

(I’m in the process of taking some whole chickens out of the oven.)

Customer: “Don’t do it!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Sticking your head in the oven, don’t do it!”

Me: *realising she’s joking around* “You mean this isn’t a tanning salon?”

Customer: “It really isn’t! Don’t do it!”

Me: “Dang, I’m in the wrong place!”

Customer: “You really are!”

(Nothing like a bit of random to liven up the afternoon!)

A Tender Bender

| USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer: “Do you have any chicken tenders?”

Me: “I have some cooking right now. They’ll be out in just a couple minutes!”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll wait.”

(Once the tenders are done, I bring them out to see the same customer waiting. I place the tenders in the hot case.)

Customer: “Are those tenders fresh?”

This Stuff Is Seriously Addictive

| USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

Customer: “Hey, can I get a pound of crack house ham?”

Me: “Sorry… what was that, sir?”

Customer: *points* “The crack house ham, right here.”

Me: “Sir, do you mean Krakus?”

Customer: “Yeah, that one.”

(Not sure how I kept a straight face through that one.)

Brain-Fried

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(The office building where I work has a deli in the basement. I’m standing in line behind a coworker. It is my coworker’s turn to order.)

Deli Attendant: “May I help you?”

Coworker: “Yes. Is there chicken in the chicken fried rice?”

Deli Attendant: “…”

Me: *to coworker* “Seriously?”

Coworker: “Yeah, that’s not what I meant to say. I don’t know what I wanted to ask.”

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