A Wait Doesn’t Carry Much Weight

, , , , , , | Right | August 11, 2018

(I work in a small deli. One particularly busy Saturday, I am running the front of the store by myself, trying to keep up with the rush, while my coworker is busy baking our bread product in the back. About ten people all arrive at the same time, approximately half of whom order sandwiches that take the longest to make. I rush through everything, but I’m sure they still wait in line for close to ten minutes, plus another ten for their food. A customer and her husband both order breakfast sandwiches. I take their food out to them with a smile and while I am there, the wife — who, I happen to notice, is on a website putting up a review — asks me if I am a manager. I am not, I answer, but I tell them my manager’s name and when she’ll be in next. Fast forward a couple days later. I go into work, where my manager ambushes me as soon as I come in the door to tell me about this phone call she got yesterday, on my day off, from the very same customer:)

Customer: “Is this the manager?”

Manager: “Yes.”

Customer: “I want to make a complaint.”

Manager: “Okay.”

Customer: “I was in on Saturday, and it looked like you only had one employee here, and we had to wait for a long time!”

Manager: “So?”

Customer: *huffing* “Well, that’s just ridiculous! We had to wait in line, and then we had to wait for our food!”

Manager: “Was it busy?”

Customer: “Well, yes, but—”

Manager: “And what was my employee doing while it was busy? Was she outside having a smoke?”

Customer: “Well, no, she was helping other people, and making food.”

Manager: “So, what are you complaining about, then?”

Customer: “Well, I had to wait!”

Manager: “And?”

Customer: “You need to hire more people!”

Manager: “Maybe. But we’d rather have ten good ones than twenty mediocre ones. Was your food good?”

Customer: “Yes, but—”

Manager: “So, you have nothing to complain about. The food was good, and you got good service; you just had to wait. This isn’t a fast food place. If you want fast food, there’s a burger place down the street. Next time, go there, so you won’t have to worry about waiting. Now quit wasting my time. I have work to do.”

(And then she hung up. I only wish I’d been there to see it.)

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A Hot Slice Of Confusion

, , , , , | Right | August 6, 2018

Customer: “Excuse me, but you’re out of cooked pizzas out front. Are you making any more today?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am! As a matter of fact, if you look behind me here, you’ll see that my coworker is slicing some fresh pizzas right now!”

(I point right at my coworker standing right next to a tall rack of pizzas. The customer goes wide-eyed.)

Customer: “So, you’re not making any more?!”

Breaking Their Fourth Wall

, , , , , , | Right | August 2, 2018

(I am working in the deli of a grocery store.)

Me: “How are you? Can I interest you some of our [popular ham] that’s on sale?”

Customer: “No, I need one-fourth of a pound of [other ham].”

Me: “Of course!”

(I slice a piece of the ham he asked for and ask him if the slice is okay and if he would like a sample slice.)

Me: “Okay, and you said a quarter pound, right?”

Customer: “No! I said one-fourth! You people do this every time! First you try to sell me some s*** I don’t need, and then you try to trick me into buying more than I need! I said one-fourth of a pound!”

(I continue to slice his meat and let him rant. I finish slicing, hand him his meat, and wish him a great day. A few moments later he returns and puts the ham back on the counter.)

Customer: “I thought a fourth would be enough, but it doesn’t look like it. I guess you’re not as bad as I thought. I’ll take the quarter, instead.”

Me: “Okay.”

Tomorrow’s Robot Overlords Are Today’s Chicken Labellers

, , , | Right | August 1, 2018

(I’m working in the deli at a popular grocery store when a customer comes up to me:)

Customer: “How long will it be until some fresh rotisserie chickens come out?”

Me: “About fifteen minutes.”

Customer: “But the timer says eight.”

Me: “Yes, but I still have to get the chicken out, label them, and bag them up. It may not take fifteen minutes exactly, but it will be close.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, I thought you had a machine for that.”

Pies Usually Go Down The Pie Hole

, , , , , | Right | August 1, 2018

I work on a deli bar for a high-end retailer in the UK. We stock a variety of top-end products that you wouldn’t normally see at the more cost-competitive franchises.

It’s our company policy to offer tasters and samples, but not to have them signposted, so that potential customers will question what the product is, giving us the opportunity to create a sale. In theory, this works, but 90 percent of the time people will just take the food without batting an eyelid as to what it is.

I’m serving a lady a salad, at the farthest point away from where I have put up haggis pies on tasting. Then, whilst I’m weighing up her product to give back to her, a woman approaches me and asks me to “pop this” in the bin. Due to how normally she asks, I don’t even think as to what it could be; I assume it is an empty pot — they often fall over the counter. Boy, was I wrong. She’d chewed the pie up, realised she didn’t like it, spat it out, then handed it to me as if that was a perfectly normal thing to do.

So, I’m stood there in shock, and I say, “Are you for real?!” to which she replies, “Sorry, I didn’t like it,” and wanders off.

I wash my hands for what feels like hours, but I still feel dirty now even typing this. What really gets me was that she acted as if this was normal.

For the record, right next to the tasting area there is a designated pot for waste like cocktail sticks, etc. She could have easily placed it in there.

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