A customer is ordering for himself and his son.

Customer: “I’ll take an Italian sub, extra cheese.” *To his son* “What do you want?”

Customer’s Son: “I want the burger and fries!”

Customer: *Looking at the menu* “What, for that price? No way!”

Me: “Actually, sir, the—”

Customer: “That s*** is full of carcinogens and free radicals and chemicals and all that nasty stuff! You shouldn’t be putting that stuff on the menu where kids can see it and order it! No way! I can’t order this stuff for him and call myself a responsible parent!”

Me: “Sir, I was going to say that his kids’ meal is actually free since you’re ordering a full adult meal.”

Customer: *Smiling* “Oh, well, that’s okay, then!”

I work at a deli and sandwich shop that is well-known throughout the USA. We sell sandwiches, spuds (potatoes), salads, and soups. Our spuds are constantly running out throughout the day because they take an hour to make. Unfortunately for me, we are all out of spuds when this family comes in.

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Sandwich Shop]. What can I get started for you?”

The mother of the family is the one to speak.

Customer: “Do y’all have spuds?”

Me: “Unfortunately, we are all out right now, but I can check how long it’s going to be to wait.”

Customer: “Give me your manager right now!”

Me: “Absolutely, I’ll be right back.”

I explain the situation to my manager.

Customer: “The last four times we have been here, you have been out of spuds. This is completely ridiculous. How do you even stay in business?”

Manager: “We only cook a certain amount of spuds at a time. We don’t like being wasteful, and after an hour, the potatoes really aren’t too good. We can’t accurately predict how many people who want potatoes are going to come in. There are fifteen minutes left on the potatoes in the oven if you would like to wait.”

Me: “Our potatoes take an hour to cook, so—”

Customer: *Cutting me off* “But he just said fifteen minutes.”

Me: “Yes, that’s how much time is left on this current round of pot—”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. We are going next door. Besides, it seems like you have an attitude problem.”

Family: “Seriously, a f****** b****.”

My mouth just dropped. The family stormed out and never came back again. They were permanently banned from the store.

I am working by myself, and there are three customers in the deli: the one I am helping, and two elderly women in wheelchairs who are at the sandwich bar. As I am finishing up one customer, another one approaches the holding case for the fried chicken.

I’m making my way to help the two women in wheelchairs, and I offer a hello to the new customer.

Me: “Hello, I will be able to help you in a moment.”

Customer: “Why can’t you help me now?!”

Me: “The ladies at the sandwich bar were here first, but once I am done, I will help you.”

Customer: “I just want fried chicken!”

Me: “These women have been waiting, and I will help you after I help them.”

I proceed to do so. The customer starts ranting, loudly, then saying what I can only assume are Bible-like verses about how the Lord will smite anybody (meaning me) that wrongs her.

I let her go on. I go and help the two ladies, apologizing for the wait and ignoring the ranting customer the entire time. By then, both because of her shouting and a store being a store, we have a line/several more customers. She’s still going on about God smiting me, so before I help anyone else, I finally look at her and ask:

Me: “Would you like me to call the manager or security?”

When you’re cursing up a storm and saying stuff that very well can be taken as threats, albeit weird ones, I am not going to feel safe or comfortable.

Customer: “You fat b****! You’re just mad because your fat a** can’t eat all of the food here!”

All the while, I’m on the phone paging my store manager, the department manager, and security to come there right away. She gets escorted out of the store.

She does come back to give some condescending-a** apology:

Customer: “I’m sure you’d be pretty if you lost some weight.”

When I worked in a local deli, we had a customer who came in every week and complained bitterly about our food.

Me: “If you hate our food so much, why do you keep coming back? There are other delis down the street.”

Customer: “Get me your manager!”

After I relay the conversation to the manager:

Manager: “They’re right; you’re free to go to any deli you choose.” 

Guess who was back the very next week?

I am working at the meat counter in the grocery store.

Customer: “I want to order a standing rib roast for Christmas. We have six people.”

Me: “I’d go with three ribs. That’ll give you some for leftovers, too.”

Customer: “No, no, no. I want four ribs.”

Me: “Okay. That’s gonna be a lot.”

Customer: “Four ribs!”

Two weeks later, just before Christmas:

Customer’s Husband: “I’m here to pick up a roast for [Customer].”

Me: “Here ya go!”

Customer’s Husband: “This is huge!”

Me: “The order was for four ribs.”

Customer’s Husband: “There’re only six of us. Can you cut one of these bones off?”

Me: “Um… sure.”

Later, the phone rings.

Customer: “I ordered a standing rib roast with four ribs, and you gave my husband one with three ribs! Where is your manager?!”