I approach the deli at my local supermarket to get some meat. They have a red wheel ticket dispenser which I normally have no problem using.

Today, no one is there, so even though I am not in any kind of rush I am happy I can just walk up to the counter and wait a minute until the worker there finishes slicing some meat.

The worker then looks at me, then looks at the ticket number being served on the screen.

Worker: “24!”

Me: “I didn’t get a ticket because…” I gesture around. “…there’s no one waiting.”

The worker then tuts at me and goes back to slicing.

Me: “Excuse me, I am ready to be served?”

Worker: “Not without a ticket you’re not.”

So I get a ticket. It was 44.

Worker: “25! Ticket 25!”

I look around, keeping quiet.

Worker: “26! Ticket 26!”

Again, I make no motion to move.

Worker: *Sighs, like I am the biggest inconvenience.* “What number do you have?”

Me: “No, you can just keep calling the numbers. I’ll let you know when you get to mine.”

I made her call out each number until she got to 44.

Customer: “Hi! You told me how to cook my rib roast for Christmas?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. How did it turn out?”

Customer: “This is for you.”

She handed me an envelope and walked away. I was thinking it’s a tip. It doesn’t happen often, but some people tip. I opened it… and it was a recipe for a rib roast.

Related:
A Recipe For Disaster, Part 7
A Recipe For Disaster, Part 6
A Recipe For Disaster, Part 5
A Recipe For Disaster, Part 4
A Recipe For Disaster, Part 3

Customer: “This turkey you sold me has no arms or legs.”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s a turkey breast, not a whole turkey.”

Customer: “Are you sure? I thought this was just a small turkey.”

Me: “I’m positive. That is a turkey breast.” 

Customer: “Why are the holidays so hard?”

Me: “Happy Thanksgiving!”

This story is part of our Thanksgiving 2023 roundup!

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My coworkers and I decide to try a new place for lunch: a deli down the street that serves cafeteria-style. You take a tray, slide it down the counter, and select a sandwich, drink, and dessert at the appropriate places. The sandwiches are made to order by someone who is behind a glass “sneeze shield” — with a shelf above the glass.

My first coworker takes a tray and goes to the sandwich area. The lady behind the counter takes the order and whips the sandwich together. She is amazingly FAST.

Employee: “Place your tray on the shelf.”

He does, and WHAM, the sandwich lands on his tray.

The second coworker goes through the same.

Employee: “Place your tray on the shelf.”

He does, and WHAM, the sandwich lands on his tray.

I go to order my sandwich and put my tray on the shelf. The lady behind the counter looks at me.

Employee: “I DIDN’T TELL YOU TO PUT YOUR TRAY ON THE SHELF YET. PUT IT BACK ON THE COUNTER UNTIL I TELL YOU.”

My coworkers were all in tears laughing and saying, “This could only happen to you.”

Prices all over are skyrocketing, and deli meat is no exception. One of our most popular hams has jumped a few dollars a pound. Because of how quickly it happened, corporate has yet to send us updated tags, so that ham has no price tag.

Customer: “I want one pound of [ham].”

The interaction goes well until he sees the price of the ham as I am ringing it up.

Customer: “Why is it so expensive? It was [lower price]!”

Before I can answer, he grabs the now-tagged ham and gestures at me with it.

Customer: “I am paying for your raise!”

Me: “I’m not getting a raise.”

Customer: “Then why is it so expensive?”

Me: *Shrugging* “I guess because the price of gas to get it here went up?”

The customer had no reply for that and just walked off. After that, I warned everyone who ordered that ham about the price.