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He Needs To Cool Off

, , , , , , , | Right | October 10, 2019

(I work as a service advisor for a car company. Today is pretty slow and I am taking walk-ins so my technicians have something to do. A guy comes in explaining that he drove to Washington from Florida a few weeks ago and needs an oil change. Since I have nothing scheduled, I check him in. We do the oil change, I give him 10% off for being so friendly, and he is on his way. Thirty minutes later…)

Coworker: “Hey, did you help this guy earlier? He’s on the phone saying we broke his AC and wants to talk to you.”

Me: “Ugh, we don’t even touch the AC system with an oil change, but okay, transfer him over!” *transfers* “Hi, this is [My Name]. I hear you’re having trouble with your vehicle. What’s going on?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m calling because you broke my AC! It was working fine before you did the oil change and now it’s broken!”

Me: “Oh, no, I’m so sorry it isn’t working. Fortunately, my technicians do not touch the AC system during an oil change, but if you’d like, you can come back in and we’ll take a quick look. Is your AC not turning on at all? Is it not cooling? What’s the issue?”

Customer: “I’m telling you my f****** AC doesn’t work! There’s a noise coming out of the vent! It’s broken and I’m pissed! I had no issues until you touched my f****** car. Tell me what’s wrong with it!”

Me: “Okay, once again, we don’t touch your AC system. I can’t say what the issue is, but you can bring it back in and I’ll have a technician check it.”

(The customer hangs up on me. Twenty minutes later, he SPEEDS into the service drive.)

Customer: “Okay, there it is! Tell me what you f****** broke!”

Me: “Can I borrow your key?”

(The customer slams the key onto my counter and I walk out to turn on his vehicle.)

Me: “Sir, could you point out the sound to me?”

Customer: *gets into the passenger seat* “How could you not hear it come on?! There it is, so loud! You broke my AC!”

Me: *lifts a pair of sunglasses from the center console*

(The noise stopped and the customer looked dumbfounded. I got out of the vehicle, told him to have a good day, and walked back inside. The customer sat in his car for a few minutes and then drove off.)

I Would Drive 500 Miles To See The Look On His Face

, , , , | Right | October 9, 2019

(I work at an auto dealership. A customer comes in to buy out their existing lease. I have to get the exact VIN and miles off the car so I can submit the proper paperwork to the state.)

Me: “May I please see your keys so I can get the miles?”

Customer: *shoves a crumpled piece of paper that has VIN and miles scribbled on it* “Here you go.”

Me: “Unfortunately, I have to get the info from the car.”

Customer: “You calling me a liar?”

Me: “No, sir, this is the process to buy out your lease. We need an odometer statement with exact miles.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous. Can’t you just put this info in?”

Me: “No, sir, it’s my name on the bill of sale. I wouldn’t want to send the wrong info to the state so you have a title issue later on. Would you?”

(He reluctantly follows me to his car and unlocks it, still grasping his key like it’s made of gold or something.)

Customer: “It’s unlocked; go ahead.”

Me: “Again, I need your key so I can physically look and write down the miles.”

Customer: “You don’t need s***.”

Me: “Fair enough. You won’t get a bill of sale or the title.”

(The customer’s wife is getting irritated because they drove an hour to do this. I can see that he does this crap often. The customer finally gives me the keys.)

Me: “Wow, looks like you were 500 miles off. No biggie, I’ll make sure to put the correct info on the statement.”

Customer: “Did you just call me a liar?”

Me: “No, sir, I merely read what’s off the odometer. Numbers don’t lie. Here is your paperwork. Have a great day!”

You Can Appoint The Exact Moment The Sale Died

, , , , , , | Working | August 25, 2019

(Many years ago, I bought a brand-new car from the local dealership. A few months later, I began receiving phone calls from the dealership offering to appraise my now-used vehicle as a trade-in on a new car. After a while I was getting these phone calls at least weekly. Every time they called, I asked to be put on the do-not-call list. I explained that I was not planning to trade my car in anytime soon and that I didn’t want any more phone calls. The calls persisted, however, and I ended up telling them several times that if the calls continued, I would never buy from that dealership again anyway. The calls continued. Finally, fed up, I agreed to make an appointment to come in and have my car appraised. Of course, when the day and time came, I had better things to do. After the appointment time has come and gone, I receive a call from one of the salesmen at the dealership.)

Sales Guy: “Hi! I was calling to remind you that you had an appointment today for an appraisal of your [car]. Did you have an emergency that kept you from coming in?”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I know I had an appointment. I just didn’t come.”

Sales Guy: “Um, you just didn’t come?”

Me: “No. I’ve asked you guys over and over to stop calling, and you kept calling, so I just decided to make an appointment whenever you call.”

Sales Guy: “So, you had no intention of coming in?”

Me: “Nope.”

Sales Guy: “So, you made an appointment knowing you wouldn’t come in?!”

Me: “Yep.”

Sales Guy: “You can’t do that!”

Me: “I can and I did and I will every time one of your guys calls me again.”

Sales Guy: “But you’re wasting our time!”

Me: “Then stop calling me. When a paying customer tells you they don’t want any more of your solicitation calls, especially when the calls are coming multiple times per week, maybe listen?!”

(The calls stopped after that, and my next car was a different brand.)

Losing The Daddy Of All Sales

, , , , | Working | August 21, 2019

(When I am 26, in the 80s, I go to buy my first new car. I have researched the value of the car using Consumer Reports and other car-buying magazines and I know what I want to pay for it. I take my father with me; he is in his 50s at the time. At the first dealer, the transaction goes something like this — boiled down from a 30-minute conversation.) 

Me: *to the dealer* “I’d like to look at your inventory of [year] [Model]s in blue or silver with very few extras, like no moonroof.”

Dealer: *to my father* “What kind of car are you interested in today, sir?”

Father: *pointing to me* “She’s buying the car. Don’t ask me.”

Dealer: *to my father* “Would you be interested in taking out a loan?”

Me: *to dealer* “I’d like to discuss the price of the car first and take a test drive.”

Dealer: *to my father* “Would you like to go on a test drive? I need a copy of your driver’s license.”

Father: “She’s buying the car and wants a test drive, after you answer her questions.”

Dealer: *to my father* “I think we can get you set up in a test drive, if you’ll come this way.”

Me: *to the dealer, holding my checkbook above my head and waving it like a flag* “I’m buying the car and I’d like to ask some questions.”

Dealer: *to my father* “Sir, come right this way for a test drive.”

(I got up, still waving my checkbook and walked out the door. My father got up and followed me.)

Dealer: *to my father* “Sir! Where are you going?”

Father: *shrugging at the dealer* “I’m with her.”

(I glanced back to an astounded look on dealer’s face as his guaranteed car sale drove away.)

Driving Below The Speed Limit Is For Babies

, , , , , , , , | Right | June 18, 2019

I work for a luxury car company. It’s my job to be on the sales floor and take people on test drives, etc.

One day, a man comes into the dealership whose English isn’t the best. He has booked a test drive via the online feature.

When we walk towards the car he will be test driving, he stops me with a wave of his hands and rushes off to get something out of his car. I think, at first, that he’s getting his glasses or something, but he comes back with a tiny baby in a car seat. Not unusual, but worth mentioning.

We start driving down the dual carriageway, and I mention that if he wants to test the sixth gear, he can, as the speed limit is 70.

Instead, the man’s speed starts to edge towards 100 mph, and every time I try and ask him to slow down, it becomes clear that he can’t understand what I am saying.

Finally, through wild hand movements, we manage to get back onto the smaller roads to drive back to the dealership. The man starts driving on the wrong side of the road.

I have to grab the steering wheel to move us out of the oncoming path of a lorry, whilst I am being berated in German by the man.

I pull the handbrake — when it’s safe to do so — and drive us back to the dealership.

When we get back, the driver gets into his car and drives off without a word…

…leaving me with his infant daughter in the test car.

The phone number provided doesn’t work and in the end, we have to phone the police because we don’t know what to do. They come with social services and take the baby into their care.

The police eventually reunite the daughter with her mother. It turns out that the man was her father, who has visitation every other weekend.

The man submits such a poor feedback form about the test drive that I could lose my job and I am subjected to an internal review. Luckily, the camera and audio footage from the car show what actually happened.

The speeding ticket we receive from the test drive, with his photo driving, also helps me keep my job.

We’ll see if the ticket gets paid or not…