I work in a daycare. Our little four-year-old girls are playing on the floor, lying on their bellies and moving some stuffed animals and dolls around. When I move a little closer, I hear them softly singing.

Girl #1: “Here’s a bear! He’s in love with the princess, but he’s just a bear, so what if the princess doesn’t love him back? Buuuuut he’s so big and strong and very, very soooooooft…”

Girl #2: “Theeeeeeeeeee princess doesn’t know the bear is so in looooooooove with her because she is so buuuuusyyyyyy making a new dreeeeesssss… buuuut she loves the bear because he is so soooooooooft… buuuuut she also has a cat who is soooooooft… What are they going to dooooooo?”

Girl #3: “Theeee caaaat was going for a waaaaaaaaalk and then he saw the beaeaear… and the bear was cryyyyyyyyyying and the cat was sooooorry for him, so the cat bumped its head into the bear to tell him that he liiiiiiiiiiked him. Now the bear stopped cryyyyying.”

Girl #2: “And the bear was cuuuuuddling the caaaaaaat…”

Girl #1: “And the princess saaaaaaw them and she went ooooover to them and she wanted to cuddle boooooth of them…”

Girl #2: “And then there was a very nice priiiince who wanted to cuddle them alllll.”

All Three Girls: “They were all so haaaappyyyyyyy!”

Too cute!

It’s my birthday and I’m at the daycare where I work. I give the children each a little box of raisins.

Six-Year-Old Boy: “I will not be eating all the raisins. How about I eat half of them now and then I get to eat all those other raisins another time? Now that is a very good idea I have.”

Two minutes later:

Six-Year-Old Boy: “It didn’t exactly work. I did eat all the raisins after all. They are very good raisins, you know. Very good indeed. That’s what made it so hard, of course. I got to eat a lot of raisins now. That was lovely. I enjoyed that very much. I’m all out of raisins now. That’s too bad because maybe I’ll want to eat more raisins later and I won’t be able to now. Oh! You know what, [My Name]? I’ll keep the box! Now isn’t that just the best idea, [My Name]? That way I’ll have the box and I can think about the wonderful raisins I liked so much!”

About two hours later:

Six-Year-Old Boy: “[MY NAME]! I FOUND ONE MORE RAISIN IN THE BOX! I GOT TO EAT ANOTHER RAISIN AFTER ALL!”

That kind of joy for life is my new goal in life now.

I am a pre-k teacher and it is picture day. I have a set of identical twin girls in my classroom. Their mom asks me if I mind asking the photographer to get a picture of the two of them together. The school has used this photographer in the past and I know he’s usually willing to take a photo of siblings together. His assistant comes into the room, and one of the children she asks for, by first and last name, is one of the twins.

Me: “Would it be okay if [Other Twin’s First And Last Name] came, as well? They’re sisters and their mom would like to get a picture of the girls together.”

Mind you, I have both girls standing next to me. The only difference is that one wears glasses, but without the glasses or personally knowing the girls, you wouldn’t be able to tell them apart.

Assistant: *Rolls her eyes* “Are they siblings? Because we don’t do friends.”

There’s a very long pause before I respond.

Me: “They’re identical twins.”

She blushed and muttered an apology and took both girls. The girls thought it was very funny that the lady didn’t see that they were identical.

My colleague is singing songs with a group of two-year-olds. She is asking them to think of actions they could do for the song “If You’re Happy And You Know It.” Most of the ideas up to this point have been sensible — jump, wave, etc.

Colleague: “If you’re happy and you know it…”

Two-Year-Old: “POO!”

I work in a childcare facility offered free to gym members. We have three rooms: one for babies, one for toddlers, and one for school-age kids. The baby room closes at noon so that we can stay within ratio. A mother comes in wanting to register her six-week-old child.

Mom: “So, she’ll be in the baby room, right?”

Me: “Actually, not at this time. We close the baby room at noon, as we have two staffers clocking out and we have to stay in ratio. She will be completely safe, though. A staffer will be with her at all times to make sure she doesn’t get hurt.” 

Mom: “But she can’t be around these older kids! She’s not vaccinated!”

Me: *Pause* “Then why did you bring her to a daycare?”

Mom: “She’s supposed to be in the baby room!”

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t take her by herself into the baby room; it’s against the rules to have one staff member alone with a child.”

Mom: “Then put two in there! Just open it! I don’t want her getting sick!”

Me: “If we put two staff members in with her that will leave two staff members in the toddler room with over fifty kids. That’s double our required ratio and we can’t do that—”

Mom: “You can and you will! This is unfair to my child!”

Even though the mother has interrupted me I am still talking.

Me: “—and besides, we can’t accept an unvaccinated child. That is in our policies. And if you’re worried about her getting sick from the kids, you shouldn’t want her around adults, or anyone, really.”

Mom: “I’m going to work out! Just take her and do whatever you want!”

She holds the baby out to me.

Me: “No. We cannot take her.”

Mom: “Fine!”

She storms out.

Another Parent: “Why… why would she…?”

Me: *Shrugs* “I’m clocking out.”

I leave, and as I am walking out, I encounter the mom again, this time yelling at the manager on duty about my refusing to take her child. The manager is not the childcare manager and has no idea of our policies, so he grabs me and asks what he should tell her.

Me: “Show her the policies about vaccinations. Have fun! She loves her child enough to put her in danger; I don’t think she cares about what happens to you.”

The mom didn’t hear that, but a coworker and I laughed our way out of work.