(I am temporarily relieving a coworker in the toddler room of our daycare so she can go to the restroom. A father arrives to pick up his child, who is familiar with me as the toddler room is next to the one I work in.)

Father: *on cellphone, very loudly* “No, I know, the delivery should have come in by now.”

Me: “Sir, here’s [Child]’s report and his coat.”

(He waves at me to be quiet. I keep trying to get his attention as I need his signature on some documents, but he waves me off even more with a huge frown. I give up and start putting the child’s coat on as the father taps his foot loudly.)

Child: “DADDY! Miss is talking!”

(The father finally gets off the phone long enough to sign the papers I need him to, although he does not hang up the call and speak to me. As they are leaving, the child turns round.)

Child: “Bye, miss!” *to his father* “Dada mean!”

(I’m gay. My boyfriend has come in to pick me up after work.)

My Boyfriend: “Hey baby, ready to go?”

Mother: “How dare you flaunt that in front of my child! Who do you think you are? How dare you!”

Her Daughter: “But mommy! They’re in love!”

(At the day care where I work, I have one kid who screams for absolutely no reason. He also has been known to become violent in a short amount of time. In this particular instance, a parent has arrived to pick up her own child while the kid is livid.)

Parent: *walks in smiling* “How’s your day going?”

Me: *smiles back* “Not too bad! Yours?”

Parent: *glances at child* “I’m just glad it’s almost Friday.”

Me: “Yeah, me too.”

(Suddenly, the kid picks up a chair, and throws it against the wall while letting out a monstrous scream, scaring not only this parent, but two other parents, the rest of the children, and myself.)

Parent: *stares at the kid and looks back at me* “God bless you!”

(I am playing a game with a little girl, when a five-year-old boy comes up to me with another game.)

Boy: “Will you play this with me?”

Me: “I’m playing this game with [Little Girl] right now, but as soon as I’m done I’ll play that one with you, okay?

Boy: “You’re pretty.”

Me: “Thanks, but you’re still going to have to wait until I’m done. Nice try, though.”

Boy: “Aw. That always works when Daddy says it!”

(We had a chat with his father about role-modelling healthy, non-manipulative behavior.)

(My friend and I both volunteer at a daycare for school credit. Although we try to act like we don’t while we’re on the clock, we both do have our favorite students.)

My Friend: “So, who are your favorites?”

Me: “[Little Girl] and [Little Boy].”

My Friend: “I’ve met [Little Girl]. She’s a good kid.”

Me: “Yeah, she’s a sweetie. It took awhile for me and [Little Boy] to warm up to one another, though.”

My Friend: “Oh, yeah?”

Me: *laughs* “On my first day, he drew a picture and gave it to me.”

My Friend: “Aw, that’s so sweet!”

Me: “It was of him karate-chopping me in half.”

My Friend: “…”

Me: “Sometimes, I don’t know if I want to hug that kid or smack him.”

(This was almost two years ago. The picture hangs on my bedroom wall to this day.)