(I am talking to a colleague, who works with a different group in the nursery, about behaviour.)
Me: “… so if any child in our room says ‘hiya’ we always have to be suspicious. It usually means they’re up to something!”
(At this point, I turn around. A plastic table in one corner of the room has been turned upside down, and there is a child standing in the middle of it.)
Child: “Hiya!”
(I have stepped briefly out of the classroom, and as I’m walking back I hear my four-year-olds saying:)
Four-Year Olds: “She’s coming! Quick! Hide!”
(I have no idea what has brought this on, but the other teacher seems fine with it. As I re-enter I can OBVIOUSLY see them in corners and under tables and their giggling is quite evident. One boy suddenly appears in front of me. I have no idea where he came from.)
Four-Year-Old Boy: “I’m nowhere to be found!”
(I work at a daycare run by an organization that originates from India. Most of my coworkers are international. I am in the office when the phone rings.)
Me: “[Daycare], this is [Name].”
Caller: “Hello, namaskar! Is [Boss’s Name] there?”
Me: “She’s not here right now. Can I give her a message?”
Caller: “Please have her call me back.”
(I write down the message. Later, my boss returns…)
Me: “[Boss’s name], Namaskar called for you.”
(My boss starts laughing, and at first I don’t know why.)
Boss: “‘Namaskar’ is a greeting!”
(I work in a daycare which caters to infants through to 12 years of age. A middle-aged man once approaches me.)
Customer: “Hi.”
Me: “Hello. How can I help you?”
Customer: “I want to be cared for.”
Me: “How old are you?”
Customer: “46.”
Me: “This is a daycare that only caters to young children.”
Customer: “Oh… do you know where I can find a daycare that caters to adults?”
Me: “Yes I do. The nearest hospital is right down the road.”
Customer: “Thanks! I can’t wait to play with the toys!”
(I am 17 years old, and I volunteer at a local daycare center. It is part of my job to interview people if they want to send their children here.)
Me: “Hello and welcome to [Daycare]. I understand you want to send [Child] here?”
Mother: “Yes, I’m thinking about doing so, if you can meet my standards.”
Me: “Okay, then—”
Mother: “Well, don’t be useless, child! Show me around!”
Me: “Well, here is the main playroom where the children—”
Mother: “What cleaning supplies do you use?”
Me: “I’m sorry, what?”
Mother: “Don’t be daft, child! What cleaning supplies do you use here?”
Me: “We use [Brand #1].”
Mother: “Oh, I don’t like them. I demand that you use [Brand #2].”
Me: “Okay, I’ll tell my boss to see if she can ask the janitors to use [Brand #2] next time.”
Mother: “You had better, child!”
(At this point, her child begins climbing over the nap-time cribs.)
Me: “Oh, don’t do that, [Child]. You could fall and get hurt!”
Mother: “No, it’s okay, sweetie. I say you can.”
Me: “What? No, ma’am, she isn’t allowed to do that here.”
Mother: “You can’t tell someone else’s child what to do!”
Me: “When we’re watching her we get to set and enforce rules.”
Mother: “Well, if [Child] comes here, she will be allowed to climb over the couch.”
Me: “No, I’m sorry, ma’am. If [Child] comes here, she will be receiving no special treatment, and will not be climbing over the couch.”
Mother: “Yes, she will.”
Me: “No, she won’t.”
Mother: “YES, SHE WILL, BECAUSE I SAID SO!”
(The mother stamps her foot hard on ground. I am speechless.)
Mother: “Now, stupid child, give me the papers so that [Child] can be signed up. I request that you stay in another room from my little girl at all times!”
Me: “But, ma’am! It’s all one room!”
(My boss, who has been watching our exchange, comes over.)
Boss: “That’s okay, because you’re fired.”
Me: “Why? I’m really good with the kids! They like me! They do! And I work for $2.50 for every two hours without complaining! This job means everything to me! Please! I’ll work at $0.50 for every three hours! I need this job so much!”
Mother: “Serves you right for being a senseless b**** to these children.”
Boss: “No, [My Name], you are not fired. [Mother], you are.”
(The mother just stops and stands in awe.)
Boss: “[My Name] was being very helpful to you, and you kept cutting her off. Then, she enforced a big rule, and you told the child to continue to do so anyway. Then you called her a senseless b****, and laughed at her for begging to stay with these children. Now, get out before I call the police.”
Mother: “Fine! I don’t need this place! It sucks anyway!”
(The mother grabs her child and leaves. My boss turns to me.)
Boss: “Your next lunch break is on me, you’ve been promoted to $20 for every two hours, and you can go home now.”
