Children Are A Stressing

| Right | November 1, 2012

(At the day care where I work, I have one kid who screams for absolutely no reason. He also has been known to become violent in a short amount of time. In this particular instance, a parent has arrived to pick up her own child while the kid is livid.)

Parent: *walks in smiling* “How’s your day going?”

Me: *smiles back* “Not too bad! Yours?”

Parent: *glances at child* “I’m just glad it’s almost Friday.”

Me: “Yeah, me too.”

(Suddenly, the kid picks up a chair, and throws it against the wall while letting out a monstrous scream, scaring not only this parent, but two other parents, the rest of the children, and myself.)

Parent: *stares at the kid and looks back at me* “God bless you!”

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Pretty Bad Behavior

, , , , | Related | October 16, 2012

(I am playing a game with a little girl, when a five-year-old boy comes up to me with another game.)

Boy: “Will you play this with me?”

Me: “I’m playing this game with [Little Girl] right now, but as soon as I’m done I’ll play that one with you, okay?

Boy: “You’re pretty.”

Me: “Thanks, but you’re still going to have to wait until I’m done. Nice try, though.”

Boy: “Aw. That always works when Daddy says it!”

(We had a chat with his father about role-modelling healthy, non-manipulative behavior.)

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We All Half Our Favorites

| Right | October 1, 2012

(My friend and I both volunteer at a daycare for school credit. Although we try to act like we don’t while we’re on the clock, we both do have our favorite students.)

My Friend: “So, who are your favorites?”

Me: “[Little Girl] and [Little Boy].”

My Friend: “I’ve met [Little Girl]. She’s a good kid.”

Me: “Yeah, she’s a sweetie. It took awhile for me and [Little Boy] to warm up to one another, though.”

My Friend: “Oh, yeah?”

Me: *laughs* “On my first day, he drew a picture and gave it to me.”

My Friend: “Aw, that’s so sweet!”

Me: “It was of him karate-chopping me in half.”

My Friend: “…”

Me: “Sometimes, I don’t know if I want to hug that kid or smack him.”

(This was almost two years ago. The picture hangs on my bedroom wall to this day.)

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He’s A Hair Too Sensitive

| Right | August 9, 2012

(I am picking up my 4-year-old cousin from daycare. I see a man dragging his daughter behind him; he walks straight to an employee.)

Father: “I demand to know who was with my daughter earlier!”

Employee: “Sir, what is the problem?”

Daughter: “Daddy, nothing was wrong. She just didn’t know.”

Father: “No! That lady was rude.”

Employee: “Sir? What lady?”

Father: “My daughter drew a picture of her family, wrote ‘dad’ above a long haired figure and ‘mom’ above a short haired figure. And that rude lady said she must have it backwards.”

Employee: “Oh, that. It was just a plain misunderstanding. Pamela saw it and went, ‘Did you write mom and dad on the wrong people?’ Your daughter explained that you did have long hair and mom had short hair. And she was like, ‘Oh,’ but she wasn’t in any way rude.”

Father: “That’s IT! Your employee assumed that was an error. What is the matter with long haired men and short haired women?”

Employee: “Sir, nothing is wrong. It was simply a misunderstanding and Pamela meant no harm by it. I can ask her to come out here right now.”

Father: “Forget it! We’re leaving and not ever coming back. Let’s go!”

Daughter: “Daddy, you’re being rude!” *to employee* “Sorry!”

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Gangsta Day-Care

| Related | June 16, 2012

(We have just finished listening to a song in the car with questionable lyrics.)

Day-care teacher: “Good morning, how was your weekend?”

Three-year-old son: “La Policia’s askin’ questions. Say you don’t know nothin’, and you ain’t seen a thing!”

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