An Absence Of Favors

| MN, USA | Working | March 9, 2015

(I work at a child care center and am the lead teacher for the younger toddlers. Every day my room has around 12 children between 16 and 24 months and is staffed with only two teachers. As such it can be incredibly chaotic much of the time. I am off one Friday due to a wedding and I am in the office when my coworker realizes she has been placed in my classroom in my absence.)

Coworker: “What?! Why am I in young toddlers on Friday?”

Me: “Oh, because I’m off on Friday, probably.”

Director: “I know [Coworker’s Older Toddler Son] can drive you crazy when you’re in his room, so I switched you into young toddlers that day to do you a favor.”

Me: “[Director], when is it EVER a favor to put someone in my room? That is the opposite of a favor.”

A Hiya Power

| England, UK | Working | May 10, 2014

(I am talking to a colleague, who works with a different group in the nursery, about behaviour.)

Me: “… so if any child in our room says ‘hiya’ we always have to be suspicious. It usually means they’re up to something!”

(At this point, I turn around. A plastic table in one corner of the room has been turned upside down, and there is a child standing in the middle of it.)

Child: “Hiya!”

Hide And Speak

, | White Plains, NY, USA | Learning | April 9, 2014

(I have stepped briefly out of the classroom, and as I’m walking back I hear my four-year-olds saying:)

Four-Year Olds: “She’s coming! Quick! Hide!”

(I have no idea what has brought this on, but the other teacher seems fine with it. As I re-enter I can OBVIOUSLY see them in corners and under tables and their giggling is quite evident. One boy suddenly appears in front of me. I have no idea where he came from.)

Four-Year-Old Boy: “I’m nowhere to be found!”

Hiss-terical

| FL, USA | Related | September 30, 2013

(I am picking up my three-year-old daughter from day care one afternoon. We cross the parking lot to my car.)

Me: “How was school today, sweetie?”

Daughter: “I found a snack!”

Me: “You did? Was it yummy?”

Daughter: “Mommmmmyyyyyy! You don’t eat snacks!”

Me: “What are you talking about, [daughter’s name]?”

(My daughter stops walking, sets her backpack down, opens it up and pulls out her ‘snack,’ which happens to be a dead snake.)

Me: “AAAAAHHHHHH!”

(I scream so loud that two policemen eating lunch in the sandwich shop across the street hear me and come running. Later, one of them said it sounded like someone was having their legs pulled off.)

In Need Of Better High-ring Standards

| UK | Working | December 21, 2012

(I’m the room leader and am talking to a coworker. This happens during shift when we are in the room with the children.)

Me: “Did you have a good weekend, [coworker]?”

Coworker: “Yeah, I went out drinking with some friends last night. I was wasted!”

Me: “You were drinking last night?”

Coworker: “Yeah. I also didn’t feel like I was buzzing enough, so I mixed my alcohol with some [strong painkillers] and THEN I had a good time!”

Me: *stunned* “…And now you’re in work, responsible for other peoples’ children when there’s a chance you’re not only still drunk but high, too?!”

Coworker: “I feel fine! You worry too much.”

(I reported her that day and she was put on report. However, she handed her notice in the next week stating we were “too strict.”)

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