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Valentine’s Daze

, , | Romantic | February 15, 2013

(We have only been dating for about two months when our first Valentine’s Day rolls around. We’ve made plans to eat out and go bowling.)

Boyfriend: *at the restaurant* “You don’t like Italian?”

Me: *poking at food* “I do, but… not chain restaurant style apparently. I’m sorry!”

Boyfriend: “It’s okay. The bowling alley is right around the corner. They’ll have something to eat there.”

(Later, at the bowling alley…)

Attendant: “You should have made a reservation. There’s a three hour wait.”

Boyfriend: “Dangit.”

Me: “Let’s catch a movie. Isn’t that gamer movie out?”

(Later, after the movie…)

Me: “Well.”

Boyfriend: “Yeah.”

Me: “Why did I think that would be good? When are gamer movies ever good?! I am so sorry you spent money on that!”

Boyfriend: “It’s okay. We both had our hopes up.”

(Later, on the subway back to my dorm…)

Me: *panicking* “We need to get off. Now.”

Boyfriend: “But we’re nowhere near your stop…”

(I get off the train, run to the nearest trashcan, and thankfully get there in time to vomit into it.)

Boyfriend: “Oh.”

(Later, at my dorm…)

Me: “So…”

Boyfriend: “Yup…”

Me: “You know, despite absolutely everything today, I really enjoyed myself!”

Boyfriend: “I did too. We’re brain-damaged, aren’t we?”

Me: “I love you, too!”

(We never made plans beyond ‘see each other in person’ for a Valentine’s Day since.)

How Modern Relationships Are Like(d)

, | Romantic | February 13, 2013

(I’ve been casually seeing this guy for about six months, and while everyone around us considers us in a relationship, he doesn’t want to put a title on us. I often joke with him that as soon as he calls me his girlfriend, I’m making it Facebook official. We are in love, but he rarely says it. For a combination Valentine’s Day and birthday gift, I am buying him an [Expensive New Phone] which he has been drooling over for a couple of months.)

Guy: “I freaking love you. Like, seriously, I mean that. I love you.”

Me: *grinning* “So that’s all it took for you to tell me you love, me sans alcohol?”

Guy: “No! Yes… I guess I should change our Facebook status now.”

Me: “Are you… did you… OH, MY GOD!”

Guy: *sighs* “Yes. You bought me a $500 phone, so I suppose I can call you my girlfriend now.”

(We changed our status that night.)

I Love You More Than Pi

, , , | Romantic | February 28, 2012

(My long distance boyfriend and I are texting each other. He sent me flowers for Valentine’s Day.)

Me: “My flowers are beautiful! <4”

Me: *fixing error* “<3 ^^^”

Boyfriend: “I <4 you, too.”

Me: “I don’t know if I <4 you… but I <3 you very much. So, I guess more of a <3.97?”

Who’s Dating Who

, , , , | Right | February 22, 2012

(I work as a server in a popular restaurant. This happens on the toughest day of the restaurant year: Valentine’s Day. A couple in their 20s has just been served their meal.)

Me: “How are you both doing this evening? Can I bring you anything else?”

Customer: “We aren’t doing very well at all! You aren’t doing nearly as much as you can to make my lady feel special!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I was trying to make you both feel special this evening. I thought you might want to be the one to make your lady feel extra special.”

Customer: “It’s not my job to make her feel special. It’s your job!”

Customer’s Date: *looks like she wants to die of embarrassment*


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Lucky In Love

, , , , | Romantic | January 9, 2012

(My girlfriend and I have been together long enough where I feel it is appropriate and necessary to open up about some rough spots and baggage in my past. Some of the things are fairly severe, and I expect her to break up with me. We have reached the end of the discussion.)

Me: “I guess, basically, what I’m saying is that I tend to have really bad luck. If you’d be more comfortable staying as friends from this point on, I can totally respect and understand that.”

Girlfriend: “Yeah, well, guess what? We’re still on. I’m not going anywhere, and I have great luck, so, we can balance each other out. Because, well, because I love you! So there! I love you, and I have good luck. You’re lucky you found me!”

(This is the first time either one of us has said we love one another. I am slightly taken aback.)

Me: “Wow. I mean. Um. You know, I’m touched. That means a lot to me, and I love you! And, you’re right, I’m lucky to have found you.”

Girlfriend: “Oh, well. I mean, I’m lucky to have you and all that stuff. But, you know, you’re luckier!”