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Losing The Name Game

| Romantic | June 21, 2012

(My fiancé and I have signed up for ballroom dancing classes. When we arrive, there is a sign-in sheet. My fiancé grabs the pen, writes his name, and then pauses before writing mine.)

Me: *jokingly* “You forgot how to spell my name?”

Fiancé: “Worse.”

Me: “You forgot my name?”

Fiancé: “Um, yes?”

Me: “Well, here’s a hint. It starts with ‘L’, and it rhymes with ‘sorry’!”

When Push Comes To Shove, Don’t

| Right | March 14, 2012

(We are holding an audition for our company’s new season. We will often take dancers who aren’t as technically trained if they are easy to work with.)

Dancer: “Hello? Can you please take my forms? I’m ready to audition.”

Me: “I’m sorry, you’re number 256 and we’re only calling numbers 110-114 right now. You’ll have to wait.”

Dancer: “Are you f***ing kidding me? I’ve already been here an hour!”

(She tries to shove her papers in my hand.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’ll have to wait with the rest of the dancers.”

(She tries to shover her papers in my hand again.)

Me: “I’m sorry—”

(Suddenly, she storms into the audition out of turn and complains about how I won’t let her dance to our casting director. They let her dance only because she refuses to leave. After her “audition”…)

Dancer: “Do you think I made it?”

Customers To Keep You On Your Toes

, , , , , , | Right | November 4, 2010

(My husband and I inherited a dance studio from his mother and we’re both full-time teachers there. Naturally, our five-year-old spends a lot of time with us at the studio. Her father and I were playing “Swan Lake” with her one day in one of the dance studios after all the classes were over when a mother and her daughter came in.)

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Can I help you? Classes are over for the day.”

Customer: “I would like to organize one-on-one private lessons with you for my daughter.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t do private lessons.”

Customer: “So why is he teaching that little girl how to do a lift?”

Me: “That’s our daughter. He’s not teaching her anything; he’s just picking her up. We were playing a game.”

Customer: “I demand you give my child private lessons!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve just told you, we don’t do that here.”

Customer: “She’s been in your class for two years!”

Me: “Yes, I know.”

Customer: “That little girl isn’t even old enough to be in your class.”

Me: “No, she’s not, but she’s my daughter. She’s been exposed to ballet since she was a baby.”

Customer: “So has my child! She knows culture!”

Me: “I understand, ma’am, but I just can’t give her private lessons.”

Customer: “Why are you letting her do it, then?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve told you already, she’s my daughter. She gets private lessons with me whether she likes it or not. We live together.”

Customer: “So, if I send my daughter to live with you, will you teach her?”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t send your daughter to live with us.”

My Daughter: “Mommy! Look at me!”

Customer: “Oh, she really is your daughter? I thought you were lying. See you tomorrow for class!”


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This Teacher Will Keep You On Your Toes

, , , | Right | March 29, 2010

(I’m nineteen, and I look fairly younger than that. I teach at a dance studio. I’m standing at the receptionist’s desk when a woman walks in.)

Customer: “Hi, I missed registration yesterday and I need to register my daughter for a beginning ballet class.”

Coworker: “Okay, you actually lucked out; we have a space open in [Other Coworker]’s class.”

Customer: “Yeah, but I really want her in [My Name]’s class. Can you arrange that?”

Coworker: “Well, okay. Let me

Customer: “Hang on.” *turns to me* “Sweetie, what are you doing here? It’s incredibly rude to eavesdrop.”

Me: “Well, I

Customer: “Where are your parents? And why didn’t they teach you any manners? You think you can just stand here, eating up this lady’s time? I have a job! I have better things to do than watch you listen to me!”

Me: “Hi, I’m actually [My Name]. You wanted to get into my class?”


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