Dancing Through The Worst Of It

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Working | December 27, 2016

(I am taking ballroom dance classes, and have just shown up rather early to the first session of the New Year. My dad just passed away on December 14, so obviously I had a difficult Christmas. Because I’m so early, I’m making small talk with the manager of the dance club, who is the only other person there.)

Manager: “So, how was your Christmas?”

Me: *cautiously* “Oh… it wasn’t that great really.”

Manager: “What? But it’s Christmas! Come on. It couldn’t have been that bad.”

Me: “Actually, it was probably the worst Christmas I’ve ever had.”

Manager: “Wow, what happened?”

Me: *not wanting to be one of those people who overshares personal information* “Umm, family stuff.”

Manager: “Oh, come on. Look at it this way: at least you HAVE a family!”

(At this point I can’t stay quiet anymore, as I have a morbid sense of humour and he’s given me a perfect set-up.)

Me: *deadpan* “Actually, my dad died.”

(He splutters about how sorry he is, and I feel a bit bad for him. Just then another girl walks up to us. The manager turns to her quickly to save face.)

Manager: “You! How was your Christmas?”

Girl: “Pretty sucky. My house burned down.”

Manager: *shocked and speechless*

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. My dad died this Christmas.”

Girl: “I’m so sorry! At least we’re pushing through it though, right?” *we high-five each other*

Me: “So, [Manager], how was YOUR Christmas?”

Manager: “IT WAS FINE. PERFECTLY FINE. NO REASON TO COMPLAIN.”

(We all had a good laugh about it. That was the first time I’d laughed since before my dad passed, and it was also the moment I realized I would be okay!)

Do The Muffin Top!

| MA, USA | Learning | August 4, 2016

(I am a dance teacher assistant. The teacher was teaching a tap step called a scuffle to a group of kindergarten age kids.)

Teacher: “What other tap step rhymes with this?”

Student #1: “Muffle!”

Student #2: “Muffin!”

(The real answer was shuffle.)

The Mother Of All Thieves

| TX, USA | Right | May 27, 2016

(I work part-time at a dance studio and notice that I can’t find my iPad. After some detective work with security footage, I see a woman, Customer, clearly swipe it off the bench in a practice room and walk out with her daughter, who was taking lessons. My boss looks the woman up in the system and calls the number on file.)

Boss: “Hi, Mrs. [Customer], this is [Boss] from [Studio]. I’m calling about a misunderstanding that occurred during your daughter’s lesson on [date]. After reviewing security footage, we’ve determined that you may have accidentally ended up with my employee’s personal property. Give me call back and we can clear this right up!”

(Several days go by. They hear nothing. He calls again, stressing that he’s SURE it was an accident and all he wants is for me to get my property back. Still nothing. Then he tries a different tactic: the woman’s father, who lives in the same town, is the emergency contact. He calls the father and again explains the situation.)

Father: “Oh, did she? I’ll ask her about that. She’ll call you tomorrow.”

(The next day, this is the first thing out of her mouth:)

Customer: “I have to say, I am really disappointed in the way that you’re handling this. I can’t bring it in this week so you’ll have to wait until my daughter’s next lesson.”

Boss: “That’s fine, ma’am. As long as everyone ends up with everything that belongs to them at the end of the day.”

(The next lesson, the woman doesn’t even go into the building. She sends her six-year-old daughter to the front desk with the iPad.)

Daughter: “My mom asked me to give you this. She said she thought it was a book.”

(That lady better hope I never run into her. Way to involve your child in THEFT.)

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Customers To Keep You On Your Toes

| Dallas, TX, USA | Learning | March 12, 2013

(My husband and I inherited a dance studio from his mother and we’re both full-time teachers there. Naturally, our five-year-old spends a lot of time with us at the studio. Her father and I were playing "Swan Lake" with her one day in one of the dance studios after all the classes were over when a mother and her daughter came in.)

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Can I help you? Classes are over for the day.”

Customer: “I would like to organize one-on-one private lessons with you for my daughter.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t do private lessons.”

Customer: “So why is he teaching that little girl how to do a lift?”

Me: “That’s our daughter. He’s not teaching her anything, he’s just picking her up. We were playing a game.”

Customer: “I demand you give my child private lessons!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve just told you, we don’t do that here.”

Customer: “She’s been in your class for two years!”

Me: “Yes, I know.”

Customer: “That little girl isn’t even old enough to be in your class.”

Me: “No, she’s not, but she’s my daughter. She’s been exposed to ballet since she was a baby.”

Customer: “So has my child! She knows culture!”

Me: “I understand, ma’am, but I just can’t give her private lessons.”

Customer: “Why are you letting her do it, then?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve told you already, she’s my daughter. She gets private lessons with me whether she likes it or not. We live together.”

Customer: “So if I send my daughter to live with you, will you teach her?”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t send your daughter to live with us.”

My Daughter: “Mommy! Look at me!”

Customer: “Oh, she really is your daughter? I thought you were lying. See you tomorrow for class!”

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Customers To Keep You On Your Toes

| Dallas, TX, USA | Right | November 4, 2010

(My husband and I inherited a dance studio from his mother and we’re both full-time teachers there. Naturally, our five-year-old spends a lot of time with us at the studio. Her father and I were playing "Swan Lake" with her one day in one of the dance studios after all the classes were over when a mother and her daughter came in.)

Customer: “Excuse me!”

Me: “Can I help you? Classes are over for the day.”

Customer: “I would like to organize one-on-one private lessons with you for my daughter.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t do private lessons.”

Customer: “So why is he teaching that little girl how to do a lift?”

Me: “That’s our daughter. He’s not teaching her anything, he’s just picking her up. We were playing a game.”

Customer: “I demand you give my child private lessons!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve just told you, we don’t do that here.”

Customer: “She’s been in your class for two years!”

Me: “Yes, I know.”

Customer: “That little girl isn’t even old enough to be in your class.”

Me: “No, she’s not, but she’s my daughter. She’s been exposed to ballet since she was a baby.”

Customer: “So has my child! She knows culture!”

Me: “I understand, ma’am, but I just can’t give her private lessons.”

Customer: “Why are you letting her do it, then?”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve told you already, she’s my daughter. She gets private lessons with me whether she likes it or not. We live together.”

Customer: “So if I send my daughter to live with you, will you teach her?”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t send your daughter to live with us.”

My Daughter: “Mommy! Look at me!”

Customer: “Oh, she really is your daughter? I thought you were lying. See you tomorrow for class!”

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