Unfiltered Story #102215

, , | Unfiltered | December 31, 2017

I had a particularly nasty co-worker, John, once. His MO was bitching until he got what he wanted; it usually worked. One day he was phoning customer service for something. It’s on speakerphone. He calls, complains, they won’t help him, and he demands to talk with a supervisor. They put him on hold. A little while later someone comes on, “I’m the supervisor, how may I help you?” John, YELLING, “I’ve been on hold for over an hour waiting for you &*@# to #%@.” Supervisor (in a perfectly calm voice): “Funny, my call timer shows you called six minutes ago.” John (defeated): “Well, it felt like hours…” Caught at his own game… A true happening.

Return Of The Returner: The Buyback

, , , , , | Right | December 2, 2017

(My store prides itself in a no-time-limit return policy.)

Customer #1: “I want to make multiple returns.”

(She has all the receipts and the tags are still on the clothing; however, I have to do each separately. I attempt to scan the first receipt, only to find it’s not in the system, so I check the date. It’s from over a year and a half ago. Because it’s not in the system, it takes longer to do, and I continuously have to call my coworker over to do overrides. My line starts building. I attempt to send customers to other tills; however, everyone wants to do returns. By the time I start her second return, which is about 15 months old, I have a line of five people waiting to do returns. My customer has five receipts in total, all over a year old, and it takes a good 20 minutes. We finally finish.)

Me: “Anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer #1: “Yes. I would like to buy them all back, now.”

(It takes all my strength not to start screaming at her. I smile and grab the clothing and sell them back to her. Since we no longer carry them in our store, each item is a dollar, plus tax! She returns about $60 to buy it back for $5. The customer leaves, and I am screaming internally.)

Customer #2: “Wow, you have a lot of self control; I would have jumped across the counter and strangled her!”

(Thankfully, the rest of the returns go quickly; however, everyone who witnessed the other woman can’t resist commenting.)

Customer #2: “Don’t worry; I bought this last week.”

Customer #3: *joking* “This is from five years ago; can I return it?”

(I also had one jokingly ask to buy her item back. Thank you, customers, for seeing how stressed I was and, despite being annoyed, making it your goal to make me feel better.)



Return Of The Returner: The Return

Return Of The Returner

Certifiably Bad Service

, , , , , | Working | November 29, 2017

(My car insurance is due for renewal, and I’ve received a letter that tells me that not only will it be £200 more than last year, but they’ve taken the business coverage off, which I need occasionally to drive to meetings, etc, for work. I double-check last year’s documents, then call the renewals helpline. I get through to a customer service representative who confirms my details, then asks how she can help.)

Me: “I need to add business coverage back on, and I’m wondering why the premium has increased so much, particularly as I have an extra year of No Claims Bonus now.”

Representative: “I’m looking at your account now, sir, and you didn’t have business coverage last year; that’s why we haven’t quoted for it this year.”

Me: “Yes, I did. I’ve got last year’s policy documents in front of me. It’s on there.”

Representative: “No, your policy didn’t have that coverage last year.”

Me: “It did. I have the certificate here.”

Representative: “I can see your policy from last year, sir, and it’s not on there.”

Me: “Well, it is, because I have the certificate. Can you see the certificate?”

Representative: “I can see on my system that you didn’t have it.”

Me: “Can you look at the certificate, please? It’s definitely on there.”

Representative: “I don’t know what to tell you, sir; you didn’t have that coverage.”

Me: “So, you can’t see my current certificate on your system? The one that’s still valid until the fifth?”

Representative: “Sir, arguing with me isn’t going to help if it wasn’t on there.”

Me: “This is ridiculous. Do you want me to send you a picture of the certificate I have here?”

Representative: “That won’t be necessary; I can see it on my system.”

Me: “OH, MY GOD!”

Representative: “Oh, yes, I can see that it shows you had business coverage last year.”

Me: “I know.”

Representative: “That’s weird, because it’s not on the system.”

Me: “So, can you add it to my coverage for next year?”

Representative: “No. The underwriter doesn’t offer business insurance any more.”

Me: “OH, MY GOD!”

Representative: “Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?”

Me: “No, I guess I’ll go with the quote I got online that was half the price you were quoting, then.”

Representative: “Would it be okay if I put you through to an automated survey where you can rate your satisfaction with my service today, please?”

Me: “I don’t think you want to do that.”

Blindly Ignoring Customers

, , , , | Working | November 27, 2017

(The product I am after has two sizes: 1.25 and 1.5 ml. The packaging is identical in coloration and shape. There’s a slight size difference, but unless you have the two sizes right next to each other, you can’t tell. There is a voucher discount on the larger size, so I go in to pick some up with the voucher, I am shown to the shelf, and the rep picks the items. It isn’t until I’ve paid that I realise there is a problem and go to customer services.)

Me: “Hi, I think I’ve been overcharged for this.”

Customer Services: *sounding bored* “The discount is on the 1.5 ml. You’ve bought the wrong one.”

Me: “Oh. Your helper picked them up for me. Can I exchange them, then?”

Customer Services: *bored* “No, no exchanges. The price and size are printed quite clearly.”

Me: “Yes, but it’s not in Braille.”

(The man behind me cracked up. He said that the customer service rep hadn’t bothered to look up until that point. The look on her face when she saw the white cane was classic. I got my exchange.)

Making Them See In New Directions

, , , | Right | November 27, 2017

(I work in the information centre of a shopping centre. A colleague next to me has been on a call while I’m assisting shoppers. After they leave, my colleague hands the phone over to me saying the caller needs directions.)

Me: “Hello? I believe you’re looking for directions to [Shopping Centre]?”

Caller: “Yes. That other girl is useless.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Are you local?”

Caller: “Umm, yes. I think so.”

Me: “Can you give me a vague description of where you are?”

Caller: “That’s what the other girl asked for! Why are you wanting to know where I am?”

Me: “I can’t give you directions unless I know where to start from.”

Caller: “No. You cannot know where I am. Just give me directions and stay out of my personal life!”

Me: “Can I ask if you know where [Restaurant in City Centre] is?”

Caller: “Yes?”

Me: “Would you mind giving me directions?”

Caller: “Umm, sure. You’re at [Shopping Centre]. Where is that?”

Me: “Why do you need to know? Just give me directions.”

Caller: “How else am I meant to get you there?”

Me: “Just give me the directions.”

Caller: “But, Jesus f****** Christ! How can I give you directions if…” *hangs up*

Colleague: “Doesn’t sound like you were able to help him, either.”

Me: “Oh, I helped him. He may never get here, but I certainly helped him.”

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