Log In Before You Speak

, , , | Working | April 10, 2018

(I have an issue with not being able to log into my account. I also can’t change the password. I call customer support. During the exchange the representative is clearly not thinking her words through.)

Representative: “You were unable to log into your account; are you still logged in now?”

(I barely managed to refrain from making a smarta** comment.)

Work For The Company For A Spell

, , , , | Right | March 31, 2018

(I work in a help desk environment, and the majority of the calls we get are for password reset.)

Me: “Help desk. [My Name] speaking.”

Caller: “Yes, I need my password reset, please. I can’t remember it.”

(I take the user’s details and provide her with a new password.)

Me: “The password is the name of the company you work for.”

Caller: “How do I spell that?”

Not Playing With Google Play

, , , | Working | March 23, 2018

(For reasons unknown, the renewal of my subscription to a very popular streaming company through Google Play does not work. I am billed for the monthly fee, but I am unable to use the streaming services. This is my second call to the customer support of the streaming company.)

Me: “Hi there. This is [My Name]. I have a problem with my account. I renewed my subscription through Google Play, and I am unable to—”

Customer Support: “I have to cut you off right there. Any payment through Google Play is no concern of ours, and you have to talk to their customer support.”

Me: “Yes, I just called their customer support, and they cannot do anything, because they already transferred the money to your company. They directed my concerns back to you.”

Customer Support: “I already told you: we cannot help you unless you put up a payment plan directly with us.”

(I get a little agitated because of his obvious unwillingness to even listen to me.)

Me: “Excuse me? As I said, you already got my money, so it is now your obligation to transfer the money back to me, or at least renew my account.”

Customer Support: “This is a free hotline; do you really expect us to deal with this?”

(I am taken aback by his crude answer and now get really upset.)

Me: “Are you kidding me right now? You have my money, and don’t provide me with the services you advertise. Do you really expect me to play ping-pong with two different support hotlines so no one is actually dealing with this issue? This is unbelievable!”

Customer Support: “You have to deal with their customer support!”

Me: “I told you, I did! They even sent me an email confirming that the payment was transferred and that I should address my concerns to you.”

(He is now talking over me.)

Customer Support: “Hey, if you find any support guy here dealing with this, I will personally pay you the money out of my wallet.”

Me: “I talked to a colleague of yours 30 minutes ago; he actually tried to help me and at least looked up my account.”

Customer Support: “Yeah, sure. Again, call their customer support.” *click*

(Yep. The guy hung up on me. I immediately called a third time and got a lady on the line. After 45 minutes of retracing every step, talking to supervisors, and trying to figure out what went wrong, the only guess she came up with was that there has been some strange technical issue that prevented the payment from being tied to my account. After two hours of dealing with customer support, I never received my money back, or got the services I paid for.)

It Finally Clicked

, , , , | Right | March 7, 2018

(I work client support for a software company that has a mobile app. The following conversation happens with a client:)

Client: “How do I reset my password? The email has a link that says, ‘Click here to reset your password.’ I don’t know what I am supposed to do.”

Me: “Click on the link that says, ‘Click here to reset your password.'”

Client: “That worked! Great!”

A Failed Delivery

, , , | Working | February 27, 2018

(I work in customer service for a big online store. Since the store is only online, we get a lot of customers calling or emailing us on a daily basis, and because we pay and do all the shipping, we also have to call [Delivery Company] daily. I absentmindedly answer a call:)

Me: “Welcome to [Delivery Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

(A coworker looks toward me in wonder, notices what I said, and tells it to the others. They all start laughing.)

Customer: *on phone, in wonder and amusement* “[Delivery Company]?! I thought I had called [Online Store]!”

Me: *noticing what I had said* “Sorry, it’s been a long day. Welcome to [Online Store]. How may I help you?”

(Not my proudest moment, but at least we were too busy for my coworkers to start teasing me about it.)

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