Account Witholder

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Right | May 18, 2017

(I work in customer service for a telecommunications company. Part of my job is to sell people new phones and phone contracts. In doing so we have to gather a lot of the customers’ personal information, such as address, date of birth, etc. One afternoon before close, a very tall middle-aged man enters the shop. I am the only female in store; there are two other male coworkers on with me. The customer gestures to me for assistance and I go over to him.)

Customer: “You guys keep a lot of people’s information on file, don’t you?”

Me: “Is there something I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yeah, can you check my details are up to date?”

Me: “Sure, I’ll just need a few details from you first, starting with your phone number.”

(I then go behind the desk and put the phone number he gives me into the system. He cannot see my screen. The account of the number he gave me belongs to a woman. Following procedure, I then ask him to verify his identity before I can access the account. He starts getting agitated.)

Customer: “Look, I just need to check you have the correct address!”

Me: “I’m happy to help you do that but first I’ll need you to verify you are the account holder.”

Customer: “So you’re refusing to help me? I’ve come all the way down here and I’m being refused service!”

(I repeat exactly the same thing. By now my coworkers are sensing a difficult customer and are hovering near me.)

Customer: *yelling* “B****! You’re all b****es! She f***ing stole everything I have and I just need to find out where she’s gone!”

(Then my coworkers stepped in, one calling security while the other told the customer to leave. They were prepared because that kind of thing was pretty regular.)

This Is The Last (Day) Straw

| Northampton, England, UK | Right | May 9, 2017

(I work in customer services for a small finance company. We get a lot of basic queries from customers about their accounts.)

Me: *answers phone* “Good morning, [Company]. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I want to know why you took my Direct Debit earlier than usual? It made me go overdrawn!”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir; let me just take a look at your account.” *pulls up account info* “It looks like your Direct Debits are set up to go on the last day of every month.”

Customer: “Yes, the 31st! In September you took it early!”

Me: “…that’s because September only has 30 days.”

(Later:)

Coworker: *after I’ve told her the story* “God help us when he gets to February.”

Explaining It Eurover And Over

| Portugal | Working | March 30, 2017

(I have just moved from Portugal to Sweden and want to transfer some money from my Portuguese bank account to my new Swedish bank account. I go to the Portuguese online bank but can not make the transfer as it is not recognizing the Swedish currency. (Portugal uses Euro and Sweden uses Swedish Kronor). So I call the bank’s online customer service:)

Me: “Hi. I wanted to transfer money from Portugal to Sweden but the website is not allowing me as the information for Swedish currency is not showing.”

Representative: “Oh. That is because Sweden uses Euro.”

Me: “No. Sweden belongs to European Union but has never adopted the Euro. It uses Swedish Kronor.”

Representative: “No! Sweden is part of Europe so it uses Euro.”

(This goes back and forth until I get annoyed enough.)

Me: “Miss, I’m sorry but I’m living in Sweden. I think I know what currency is being used. Trust me it is not Euro. It is Swedish Kronor!”

Representative: “Oh. Just use Euro anyway.” *hangs up*

(In the end, they charged me 75€ for the call and I had to ask my parents in Portugal to go to the bank agency and take care of it. And yes, they also complained about the customer service representative.)

Now They’re Reply-All Knowing

| TX, USA | Right | March 18, 2017

(I’m the stupid one in this story. This is from a few years ago, before I knew not to send credit card info by email at all, but this took it a bit further. I’m on the phone with my credit card company’s customer support line:)

Agent: “Thank you for calling [Credit Card Company]. This is [Agent]. May I have your account number?”

(We exchange the account info and I answer the appropriate security questions.)

Agent: “And how may I assist you today?”

Me: “I need to deactivate my card and have a new one issued.”

Agent: “I can certainly help you with that. Was the card lost or stolen?”

Me: “Not exactly…”

Agent: “…?”

Me: “I sent my credit card info by email, but I accidentally hit ‘Reply All.’ So my credit card number, expiration date, and security code got sent to about 150 people.”

Agent: *after ten seconds of silence* “I see. Okay, I have deactivated your card and ordered a replacement. It should arrive in 3-5 business days. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Me: “No, that’s it. Thank you. And thank you for not laughing.”

Agent: “You’re welcome, sir.”

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| Bentonville, AR, USA | Right | December 14, 2016

(I get this call my first week after being promoted to customer service, and I don’t think it’s going to be an easy one to top.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: *it’s obviously an old man by the voice* “I got a complaint for ya!”

Me: “All right, how can I help?”

Customer: “I was out driving the other week, and my truck broke down. I brought it to [Store] to get it fixed. You know what they told me?”

Me: “What did they tell you, sir?”

Customer: “They told me I needed a new car battery! I told them I didn’t want a new car battery. I’ve had this one for SIXTY YEARS, and I want to keep it! Well, they fixed up the truck, I brought it home, popped the hood, and do you know what I found?”

Me: “What, sir?”

Customer: “A new car battery! They STOLE my old one, and I want it back!”

Me: “Um, okay, sir. I can file a complaint for you. What store was this at?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Do you remember what city it was in?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, was it close to where you live?”

Customer: Yes.”

Me: “Great! What’s your zip code?”

(Silence.)

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “I FOUGHT IN VIETNAM!”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “I may be old and tired, but I’m not stupid! I figure, if I can’t do anything good for other people, I may as well not have come home at all!”

Me: “Okay. Can I have your zip code, please?”

Customer: “I DO NOT LIKE DONALD TRUMP!”

Me: “…What?”

Customer: “What’s your direct supervisor’s name?”

Me: “Mine? Her name is [Manager #1].”

Customer: “Is she voting for Trump?”

Me: “I don’t know, sir. Can I have your zip code?”

Customer: “What about you?”

Me: “Sir, I am trying to help you, but I can’t help you if you don’t answer my questions! What is your zip code?”

(Silence.)

Customer: “Now, son, don’t you go acting spoiled with me.”

Me: “Please give me your zip code.”

Customer: “It’s [zip code].”

Me: “Okay, so you live in [City #1, State]? You’ve got two stores in that area. Was the one you went to in [City #2] or [City #3]?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Fine… you went to the one in [City #2]. I’ll get the complaint sent to them. You’ll get a call back in three days. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Well… there is one thing. My neighbor bought a TV, but it doesn’t work. I want to get him a refund.”

Me: “I can’t negotiate a refund with you, sir. He’ll have to call in himself.”

Customer: “He can’t.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I still can’t talk about it with you.

Customer: “Son, the Bible says to honor and to help your neighbor, and I intend to do that!”

Me: “Sorry, sir, it goes against company policy for me to discuss another customer’s money with you.”

Customer: “What’s your name?”

Me: “I’m [My Name].”

Customer: “That name’s in the Bible! Do you know why you don’t deserve that name?”

Me: *sigh* “Because you don’t like me, sir?”

(Silence.)

Customer: “Get me your manager right now.”

Me: “Not a problem, sir. Please hold.”

(I put him on hold and dial the manager line. A manager who is not my direct supervisor picks up. I fill her in on what’s happening and she agrees to take over the call.)

Me: “Sir, are you still there? I have [Manager #2] on the line with me.”

Customer: “I THOUGHT YOU SAID HER NAME WAS–”

(And then I hung up on him.)

 

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