My parents booked a trip to the UK, but unfortunately, due to the current crisis, they can’t go. I am taking care of getting the different bookings cancelled and refunded. The first and second leg of their journey were easily taken care of. My dad himself mailed the company of the third leg on April second. He did get a confirmation but no answer after that. When he received a survey about how his trip had been, the trip he never went on, he asked me to check up on it.

To start off with, the company had closed its phone lines and all questions had to be done online. They had a live chat function, which I decided to use as I don’t like giving out my social media to companies. The conversation started off fine. I was completely honest, telling the employee that I was speaking on behalf of my parents.

Then, the employee asked a strange question. Well, for us, it was a strange question. They asked if I was the account holder. Normally, it should not be an issue if you’re not the account holder, but you have all the other documentation. I answered honestly, a bit baffled, that I was not and I thought my father was most likely. Then, the employee immediately said that they could do nothing for me and that I should get the account holder to talk to them. 

Now, I got curious. My dad speaks relatively good English — not as good as me, but my English is at C2 level which is a rare thing here — but he tends to take out any small frustration on the employees and he does not always clearly say what he wants, so I personally didn’t think it was a good idea to let him speak to the employee. As I’m quite sure this is a problem they encounter often, I decided to tell the employee that my dad’s English was not good enough to handle these situations.

To my surprise, the employee said that they still could not do anything for me. They gave me tips on how to find refund options on the website, but now I was mad — not at the employee, as I still at this point thought it was just a bad company policy, having never dealt with this particular train company before. I asked that if my dad gives his permission, I could then arrange things. No, that was not an option through live chat, apparently. 

I ended the chat by saying that this was punishing honest people, as I was quite aware that if I had lied and just said I was my dad, the employee would not have known the difference. I fumed for a bit and then went to the place where all frustrated people go: Twitter. I complained on my personal Twitter, politely but linking the company Twitter page, about the discrimination against people who do not speak English. 

Within minutes, I got an answer from a different employee, saying that if I had proof that I had permission, I should be able to get things sorted. I replied that I did have all the documentation and that my dad was sitting next to me — even though he was not, but I would have been able to get him there within seconds — but that the employee I spoke to had just completely blocked it. The other employee then told me to go into direct messages with him, and after a little while, I got an answer.

The proof this employee needed was very simple and very standard for the industry. Within minutes, my dad had a confirmation for a refund in his email. 

I really hope that the first employee gets a lesson in their company policies, as a lot of trouble could have been avoided if he had just asked for these standard things.

When moving to my new apartment, I am also going to change from satellite to cable TV. This means my old router does not meet my new requirements, so I decide to take advantage of a promotion and get the to-rent model of my new ISP for free, as I’m too lazy to get a newer router myself, despite being a general IT and network admin at work.

After moving, I plug in the company-provided router, connect my main computer, and set everything up, which just works fine. I take a look at the manual, which says I have to connect the cable from the socket to a three-way switch/converter; one outgoing cable connects to the phone, one cable to the router, and the last cable to the TV. Despite the cable between the switch and TV, there is a regular ethernet cable that connects the TV and the router. I install all that and check on my PC and my notebook; Wi-Fi and Internet work.

To my confusion, in the following days, the Internet randomly stops working, so I do the usual troubleshooting and figure out that I cannot even connect to the router from my wired PC, as the settings seemed to have changed. Everything starts to work again later that day.

As I can’t figure out why and can’t find anything online, I call tech support.

Support: “[Company Support], how can I help you?”

Me: “Hi. I’m having trouble with your router, which seems to randomly stops working.”

I give them detailed information about the problem, all the steps I’ve taken, and the data I’ve collected.

The employee seems to ignore all I just said.

Support: “Okay, well, let’s see… Did you check whether the router is properly plugged in and the lights are all on?”

Me: “Yes. As I said, having worked IT myself, I already did basic troubleshooting, which did not work, and then…”

I give all my taken steps and collected data again.

Support: “So, hmph, well…”

There’s a very awkward long pause.

Me: “Did you have any reports about similar issues? Or any idea as to why my network settings seem to change and even change back to the correct settings later?”

Support: “Ah, network settings? I’m sorry, sir, I can’t quite follow you?”

Me: “Well, I already checked…” 

I give my results a third time.

Support: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know what all that is supposed to mean. But my scheme tells me to ask you to restart the router, please.”

Me: “Okay, so do you have any deeper knowledge of network configuration and your [brand router]? If not, I would like to talk to some tech person who is able to do more than read from some paper.”

Support: “I’m very sorry, but there is no one in our call center who is qualified for much more than our standard spiel given by the company.”

Me: “I see. So, is there any way you might set me up with someone who can help me?”

Support: “Again, I’m very sorry. All I could do is to set you up with an appointment with an external service, who will send someone to your house.”

Me: “Well, I guess I have to, eh?”

I get the typical appointment which is like: sometime between rise and dawn, better take the whole week off, just to be sure.

The cable guy arrives around noon without any info or documentation, so I tell him what’s wrong.

He speaks without even looking at my setup.

Cable Guy: “You followed the instructions and connected the switch with your TV, didn’t you?”

Me: “Yes, of course. That’s why the instructions were printed?”

Cable Guy: “Well, yeah, unfortunately, the instructions in this case are wrong. See, the cable from that switch to the TV is configured in such a way that your TV is supposed to work as a second router. Therefore, your settings on the real router get overridden; for some crazy reasons, the TV’s network settings are given priority. Please don’t ask me why; it’s crazy. So, if you turn on your TV, and later on your PC the settings won’t work, if you do it the other way round you stay connected with the router and everything is fine.”

The cable guy simply pulls out the cable between the switch and the TV.

Cable Guy: “There you go. That’s it.”

Me: “Your kidding, right?”

Cable Guy: “Nope, that’s it.”

Me: “Oh, good God, and nobody on the tech support line is able to give that information?”

Cable Guy: “Seems like that, huh? That’s what happens when you try to outsource everything possible. And it happens so often, I have done this fix seven times already today.”

Me: “Well, sounds like time for a break. Come on. I know some nice and fast Italian around the corner; I’ll buy us some pizza.”

Needless to say, I canceled the contract shortly after and am already looking for my new ISP in a few months, hopefully without such utter nonsense.

My wife is currently sick and we need to contract with a specialized nursing service that is not cheap. Thankfully, during their first visit, they explain that we will be able to spread the payments out over the entire year so we won’t need to pay everything up front, and we sign up.

I am very surprised when I get a bill for a year’s worth of services in the mail a week later. I call up to get it sorted out.

Me: “Hi. I just got a bill for an entire year’s worth of services but I signed up to pay monthly. Can you help me get this fixed?”

Billing Rep: “Oh, that’s not a mistake. We aren’t able to make personalized bills for everyone, so you’ll just need to log in online and make your payment.”

Me: “But my bill is annual. I should have a monthly bill.”

Billing Rep: “Yes, but you still need to pay now.”

Me: “How can I pay for something if I don’t get a bill that tells me the right amount?”

Billing Rep: “I understand your frustration, but we can’t make personalized bills for everyone.”

Me: “Sorry, I know you’re not the one who makes this policy, but are you telling me that you are the only business in the world that can’t make bills that actually reflect what your customers owe?”

Billing Rep: *Chuckles* “You have no idea how many times I need to explain this. I’m sorry. It is a very old system.”

Me: “That’s okay. But how exactly do I pay when I don’t know how much I actually owe right now?”

Billing Rep: “Well, I can tell you that. It would be [amount]. You can just edit the amount online and that will take care of it.”

Me: “Okay, I just input the amount online and processed the payment. Can you take a note to your manager that you were great but this system is insane?”

Billing Rep: “Right away!”

Our company provides fraud prevention tools for e-commerce sites. I provide chat support on our site, which occasionally brings in some… interesting… characters.

Visitor: “I need to get an SMS by Phone Number USA for verify my account in the site. Can you help me?”

Me: “You want to do SMS verification for accounts on your site?”

SMS verification is when the site sends a text message to you with a passcode that you need to enter back into the site to continue. It confirms that you own the phone number you are providing.

Visitor: “It’s site [website]. Help me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m having some trouble understanding what sort of help you’re looking for.”

Visitor: “One SMS for verify by USA phone number.”

Me: “You need to have your account on [sitename].com verified?”

Visitor: “Yes.”

Me: “Sorry, that’s not something I can help with.”

Visitor: “One Amazon gift card $5 for you. Just one SMS.”

Me: “We’re in the business of preventing the exact sort of fraud you’re asking me to help with. Why do you think a $5 gift card is going to change my mind? Have a nice day.”

This story is part of our crazy-online-shoppers roundup!

Read the next crazy-online-shoppers roundup story!

Read the crazy-online-shoppers roundup!

I work for a local council. We have a regular landlord who comes in to complain about his tenants’ Council Tax. We have seen the tenancy agreements he writes up and some of them have ridiculous conditions for the tenants to sign.

Landlord: “I have been sent the Council Tax bill for [address] in my name, but I am not liable. The tenancy for [Tenant] hasn’t ended yet; therefore, he is liable.”

After checking notes on the system:

Me: “Sir, sadly, this customer has passed away. He does not have any living relatives or executors. As this property belongs to you, you are liable for the Council Tax.”

Landlord: “Well, his tenancy agreement is on your system, so you will be able to see that he signed it for until [date], making him liable.”

He made a ninety-six-year-old man sign a four-year tenancy.

Me: “Sir, he didn’t know he was going to die, did he?”

Landlord: *Arrogant* “No.”

Me: “Sir, do you know when you are going to die?”

Landlord: *Scoffs* “No, of course not.”

Me: “So, how do you expect him to pay if he is dead? How would you like it if I made you pay the Council Tax after you died?”

Landlord: *Again all arrogant* “You can’t because I’d be dead!”

Me: “Exactly.”

He walked away mumbling, “But he signed a four-year tenancy!”

Related:
Death And Taxes