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If The Masses Can Use Google To Disprove Vaccines It’s Good Enough For You

, , , | Right | October 9, 2020

I work in customer service at a government authority. We can, of course, only answer questions regarding our work area. A woman my age calls. She is worried about health care for her partner.

Me: “Well, it is not part of our area of expertise, but I do know that your partner could look into something called the European Health Insurance Card. You could Google it.”

Caller: “Google it?! How unprofessional of you to suggest such a thing! You do not take this seriously!”

Me: “Well, I am sorry you feel that way. As I said, this is not something we administer, but rather a little advice.”

Caller: “I demand to speak with a professional case officer who will take matters seriously! Someone who actually works there!”

Me: “What I can help you with are questions concerning our actual line of work. Do you have any further questions regarding [reason for calling]?”

I had to restate my response to her initial question in order for her to understand I actually, well, work there. She kept muttering “unserious, unprofessional” for the remainder of the conversation.

Our Fingers, Much Like Their Wires, Are Crossed

, , , , , , | Working | September 30, 2020

I recently signed up for cheap Internet service, and when I receive the modem for self-installation, I see that the ethernet cord doesn’t fit the telephone line jack I have at my home. I see in the installation manual that there is a converter that would allow me to not use an ethernet cord which, therefore, is probably the only way I can use the modem at my house.

I call them and realize I am getting what I paid for: not a whole lot.

They can’t find my account for half an hour, and I see they have put the wrong phone number on the sheet that came with the modem. They don’t have my email on file and they can’t find it with my name or address, despite me having a modem at my house with my name and, obviously, my address on the label. Thankfully, I wrote down the confirmation code and it only takes me suggesting it a couple of times before the rep accepts it and is able to find my account.

Then, I spent another hour and a half trying to get the poor gentleman on the phone to understand that the ethernet cable doesn’t fit at my home and that sending another one to me isn’t going to work.

Seriously, after being on the call for an hour and a half, I ask to talk to his manager who then takes half an hour to get on the phone. When he finally does, I am hoping for the best, but he listens to my problem and confidently suggests that he send out another ethernet cord. A part of me dies inside at that moment 

That was yesterday. Today, I am waiting for a call from them because they had an issue with my account and still couldn’t find two IQ points to rub together and get me the converter I needed for my Internet modem. Wish me luck!

You’ll Be Sorry You Asked For Sorry

, , , , , | Working | September 22, 2020

I am working customer service when a customer comes up to complain about a policy issue, something I have no control over and can do nothing about.

Me: *Smiling politely* “I’m so sorry, but that is the store policy—”

Customer: *Interrupting me* “You don’t look very sorry with that smile!”

I instantly lose the smile, put a devastated expression on my face, and start speaking with a shaky, trembling voice, as if I’m about to burst out crying.

Me: “I… I am so terribly, terribly, sorry, sir. I wish there was something I could do. I feel utterly dreadful that I am forced to treat you this way… but I have no power in this situation.”

The customer stares at me in complete shock, jaw-dropping open.

I can’t keep a straight face and start laughing. Fortunately for me, the customer joins in.

Customer: “Wow, you should be an actress!”

Me: “Did I look sorry enough for you?” *Smiles brightly* “It’s true, though; I really don’t have any control of the situation. If you want to complain to the head office, I’ll give you the number.”

Customer: “No, but thanks for the laugh!” *Leaves with a smile*

If you can make them laugh, they can’t stay mad at you.

Cash Back Attack, Part 12

, , , , | Right | September 18, 2020

I am the only associate on the service desk one very busy check-cashing day and nearly run out of cash in my till. I put in a request for a loan from the cash office and call to the next customer in line.

Me: “Sir, are you doing a return?”

Customer: “Yes! What took you so long?”

Me: “I don’t have cash in my drawer. I can do your return if you want the money back on your bank card or a store card.”

Customer: “Uh… what?”

I repeat myself.

Customer: “Oh. Okay, cool.”

I’m afraid he’s going to have a cash return anyway.

Me: “Can I see your receipt?”

Customer: “Yeah, here.”

Me: “Okay, you paid with debit. But a card is okay?”

Customer: “Mmhmm.”

I process his return and we get to the payment option.

Me: “Do you have your debit card with you?”

Customer: “Oh, it was my friend’s card. Just gimme the cash.”

Me: *Pause* “Sir, I don’t have this much cash in my drawer.”

Customer: “Well, why not?”

Me: “We’ve been cashing paychecks all day and I’m waiting on a manager to bring me more money.”

Customer: “You should have said that earlier! Now I’ve wasted all this time with you and you can’t even do your job!”

Me: “I did start by saying I had no cash.”

Customer: “No, you didn’t.”

I’m in no mood, seeing the line behind him.

Me: “I did. I can put this on a store card or cancel the whole thing.”

Customer: “I’m not taking a store card. Just gimme the cash!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I told you already that I didn’t have cash and—”

Customer: “NO, YOU F****** DID NOT!”

Next Customer: “Bro! She told you!”

The man whips around to see a line of angry people glaring at him. He grabs his return and receipt and leaves.

Me: “Okay. Well. How can I help you?”

Next Customer: “I need to send some money, so I’ll be giving you cash. Okay?”

Me: “Absolutely okay!”

It took another ten minutes for management to get to the cash office and give me more cash. There were some unhappy customers, but they understood and handled it much better than that man.

Related:
Cash Back Attack, Part 11
Cash Back Attack, Part 10
Cash Back Attack, Part 9
Cash Back Attack, Part 8
Cash Back Attack, Part 7

An Exhausting Tale Of Poor Customer Service

, , , , , , , , | Working | September 17, 2020

This might be a bit long, but I hope it’s entertaining in an “awed horror” sort of way.

I love banking with my small, local bank. I like the fact that the tellers and I know each other by name, and that when my wallet was stolen and the thief tried to come in and write one of my checks for cash, the employees instantly knew she wasn’t me and called the police, instead.

However, it does have its drawbacks. For instance, my bank does not have a twenty-four-seven customer service line; they can only be reached between 8:00 am and 6:00 pm. That would be fine, except what they do have — as I found out a few months ago — is a very sensitive automatic anti-fraud system.

I was planning to be out of the country for nearly three weeks. I go out of the country fairly regularly, and I did all of the things I was supposed to: contacting my bank and advising them of my travel schedule and where I would be and when. I was all packed and ready. My flight left at 5:30 am and I was planning to leave for the airport about 2:30, since it can take close to an hour to get there and I like to have plenty of time to grab a snack, etc.

Around 2:00 am, I took care of my very last chore — paying my electric bill. I pay this bill through an automated phone service every single month the same way. However, I guess that doing so in the middle of the night triggered my bank’s anti-fraud system, and they froze my card. When I tried to call a rideshare at 2:20, it was rejected. After several tries, it was clear that something was wrong.

Slightly panicked, I walked about 100 feet to the mini-mart next door to try my luck at the ATM, thinking I could call a cab. I had $50 on me, but I knew it would cost about $75 to take a taxi that distance. The ATM would not give me cash, and that’s when I knew my card was frozen. I tried calling the number on the back of my card on my cell phone, but I just got a voice recording telling me that they opened at 8:00 am.

The overnight employee of the mini-mart, with whom I had become friendly from being a frequent customer, saw my distress and asked what was up. Near frustrated tears, I explained my situation. The worker nodded at the guy next to him, who I had assumed was another customer, and said, “He’s a taxi driver; he’s just off right now.” He looked at his buddy, who was actually just there to hang around and chat. “Hey, man, want to earn some cash?”

I was hesitant, but the guy took out his license and allowed me to take a photo of it with my phone and text it to a friend, and the employee said that they’d known each other since boot camp. He also promised that if he didn’t hear from me in two hours, he’d call the police. Feeling much better about it, I let the off-duty taxi driver take me next door to my apartment to grab my luggage and then to the airport.

Unfortunately, [Major Airline #1] had decided to start charging for the first checked bag even on international flights. This was a recent decision, and I hadn’t heard anything about it. The kiosk worker explained that I couldn’t check my bag until I paid the $30 fee. I did start to cry then, and I explained the situation. The worker tried to be comforting and said, “Let’s just see if it will go through!” It wouldn’t. I begged her to waive it. I couldn’t use my card and I had given the off-duty cab driver all of my cash. She was sympathetic but explained that only the manager could make that call, and he wouldn’t be in until 6:00 am. If he decided that they could waive the fee, he would put me on another flight to Chicago at no charge so that I could make my connection to the UK.

I sat on a bench near the kiosk for two and a half hours until the manager came over to talk to me. I explained my entire situation, but he would not be moved. I paid the $30 or I didn’t fly. In the end, I missed my flight and had to wait until 8:00 am when I could call my bank and have the block on my card lifted. I then had to purchase a $400 ticket from Oklahoma City to Chicago, though it gave me a bit of grim satisfaction that [Major Airline #2] were the only ones who had a flight that would get me on the ground in time for my connection. When their worker heard what I’d been through that morning, she bumped me up to first class, gratis.

There is a happy ending, though. When I returned home, I went into my bank branch to complain, and the manager helped me fill out a report to request reimbursement of my $400. He said it would also help encourage the bank to get a twenty-four-seven customer service line, as they were collecting such complaints for that purpose. A couple of months later, I got an email that I could now reach my bank anytime regarding “security concerns.”

Further, I’ve been fortunate through circumstances to form strong friendships with several people who are “Someone.” While I didn’t go around complaining about what happened, I did mention it to one friend, and it apparently got around. Several of them took to social media to complain about [Major Airline #1], since they hadn’t made any sort of announcement about their baggage fee change and hadn’t even updated the information on their website yet.

Apparently, this made the Powers That Be at [Major Airline #1] realize how bad they looked, and they contacted me in response to my complaint to offer me a credit for the unused portion of my original ticket. I explained that my bank had refunded the cost of my replacement ticket and I wasn’t looking to get anything for free, but the airline insisted, so I came out ahead. However, it will probably remain my most dramatic travel tale for a very long time.