I’m hard of hearing, so when I was hired, I was given a separate name tag that is pinned on the left side of my chest. Sometimes my hair covers it, but I’m mindful to make sure it doesn’t. The name tag in question is bright yellow (against a somewhat dark-blue apron) saying, “I’m Hearing Impaired,” in big, bold letters. Along with this, I also have a transcribe app on my phone that I used to keep out to talk to customers, but now I keep it away from customers and in front of my coworker who can relay requests to me.

I am a courtesy clerk, so unfortunately, I do have to interact with customers. I love doing so! It’s just, well, difficult. On top of that, masks are currently mandatory.

I have had too many customers whose interactions end up like this.

Customer: “Excuse me, can you help me find [unintelligible].”

Me: “I’m sorry, what did you ask?”

Customer: *Intelligible request and vague hand movements*

Me: “Sorry, give me one minute. I am hard of hearing…”

At this point, I move aside my hair to show the name tag if I have to.

Me: “I have a transcribe app that will help me understand what you are asking.”

However, when I get the app opened, the customer will stare at it and then roll their eyes, or scoff, and march off. I’m left standing there confused, wondering why they keep walking off. Do they think my app is recording them? I can only imagine!

Me: “Have you had a PCR test?”

Colleague: “Yes, I’m negative.”

Me: “Are you sure about that?”

Colleague: “Yes, I’m positive.”

Me: “…”

Coworker: “I hate that we all have to wear masks! I got a fake vaccine card from eBay so I can stop wearing one. I’d never use an experimental vaccine!”

I told my direct manager I was concerned about this because, while I’m vaccinated, I’d rather not catch any variants from some mouthbreather. 

He brought it up to our upper management. It turns out one of them is immunocompromised, and they fired her on the spot. I honestly feel kind of bad, because we are already short-staffed, and she was a hard worker, just apparently an idiot.

Our town has had a curfew set to 10:00 pm due to the health crisis, which expanded until 11:00 pm yesterday.

Every single day, as soon as we close the doors, there are at least five cars passing in our drive-thru lane asking if we’re open, why we’re closed, and why can’t they order anyway since they are already here. I usually greet them via the mic and inform them that we’re closed. Then, it’s this lady’s turn.

Customer: “But I want ice cream.”

Me: “I understand, madam, but we’re closed.”

Customer: “It’s just ice cream, not a whole meal!”

Me: “Again, we’re closed. The cash desk is not active, and the ice cream machine was cleaned twenty minutes ago. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “BUT I’M PREGNANT!”

Me: “Well, congrats… but we’re still closed. Goodbye.”

And then, they almost ran over me with their SUV while I was taking out the trash, cussing at me for being rude to a pregnant woman who was illegally outside twenty minutes after curfew with her husband and a whole bunch of already-born kids in the car.

I’m waiting to order a coffee at a big chain coffee shop. Social distancing and limits mean that there is a long queue of people now standing in the rain. Many of the more complicated drinks are off the menu and staff is reduced.

It’s a long wait, made longer by a woman in her twenties trying to order things clearly showing as not available.

Customer: “I don’t understand why you can’t make me a [drink]. It takes no longer than anything else and you have all the ingredients there!”

Barista: “I’m sorry, but we are running a limited menu at the moment.”

Customer: “But I don’t like plain coffee.”

Barista: “We have a range of cold drinks if you prefer?”

Customer: “I don’t want that; I want coffee.”

Barista: “We still have a range of syrups if you wanted a flavoured coffee.”

Customer: *Dramatic sigh* “I suppose I could. Can you make me an [obscure rainbow something] coffee?”

Barista: “I don’t know what that is.”

Customer: “Oh, come on! It’s on the secret menu; how could you not know? You’re being stupid.”

Barista: “We… don’t have a secret menu. We have what’s on the board behind me.”

Customer: “I… don’t… want… what’s… on… the… board. I want my [obscure] coffee. God, why are you being so difficult?!

Barista: “Please order something from the board or leave.”

She sighed, muttered something, and, thankfully, left. Curiosity got the better of me and I Googled the rainbow coffee. I couldn’t find anything matching what she said, so the poor barista really never stood a chance.