Masks are required for customers in our store. I have a compromised immune system as well as asthma. If a person comes through my line without a mask, I offer them one, and if they still refuse, I politely tell them that I am unable to ring them up. Most just take a mask or leave, but there are a few who throw temper tantrums.

There is a coworker who goes out of her way to insult and emotionally hurt people, but I just ignore her usually.

Coworker: “Hey, is it true that you’re refusing to ring up people without a mask on?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Coworker: “You can’t do that! You’ll get fired!”

Me: “No, you are allowed to refuse customer service to someone if you feel threatened. We’re in the middle of a health crisis, I have pretty much no immune system, and I have asthma. If you refuse to wear a mask, then I am being threatened.”

Coworker: “Well, they’re writing horrible things about you on the [Next Town] Facebook page and the city’s home page!”

Me: “So?”

Coworker: “But… they’re writing bad things about you on—”

Me: “I don’t care. I don’t live in that town, for one. And two, if they are the type to write about me for following the mandate, so what? They boycott the store. Then I won’t have to worry about them coming back in and getting me sick.”

She was very annoyed that I wouldn’t get angry over the fact that people supposedly were writing bad things about me online. Things no other person was able to find.

This takes place during the early part of the lockdowns in my area. In-store shopping is banned except for grocery stores, and other “essential” retailers such as hardware stores are limited to taking orders over the phone or through the Internet and having customers pick them up outside. Social gatherings are also banned.

With everyone staying home, they all decide to do those household projects they never seem to have time for, and we are quickly swamped with a backlog of thousands of orders. Our normal guarantee of having online orders ready in two hours goes out the window, and it can take three days or more to have an order ready. It says so on our website.

This conversation takes place over the phone.

Customer: “Help! It’s an emergency! I’ve been trying to get through to you, but I’ve been on hold for half an hour!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that! Our phone system isn’t set up for the volume of calls we’re receiving; we can only answer one call at a time. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I know you’re closed, but I placed an order an hour ago and I haven’t gotten a response! I’m desperate!”

Even under normal circumstances, we often can’t get orders ready within an hour, and she got on the phone when her order had only been in for half an hour.

Me: “Could I get your order number? If it’s an emergency, I may be able to assist.”

In emergency situations, such as flooding, loss of power, or other safety issues, we allow customers to jump the queue and we will pull their order as soon as we know about the issue.

Customer: “Oh, thank you!”

She provides the order information.

Me: “I have your order pulled up here. I see this is an order for… floor wax?”

Customer: “It’s an emergency! I need it for Mother’s Day!”

It’s currently Tuesday. Mother’s Day isn’t until Sunday. Also, we aren’t supposed to be having any sort of social gatherings.

Me: “Ma’am, floor wax is not an emergency item. Our associates will pull your order in the order in which it was received. I’m afraid I can’t see exactly where your order is in our queue, but as there are over 2,000 orders ahead of you, we will need some time.”

Customer: “So, I can’t get that today?”

Me: “I’m afraid not.”

I have a few friends that work on a television show, and this woman I know said that she would do anything to get into the audience of said show. My mate rang me and offered me tickets to said show and I jumped at the chance to go.

Me: “There will be two others besides me. Will that be an issue?”

Friend: “Nope, no issue. Can’t wait to see you.”

[Woman] was given two weeks’ notice of this and kept telling me that she couldn’t wait as this happened to be one of her favourite shows.

The day of the taping arrived and we were doing the compulsory [health crisis] check-ins. [Woman] proceeded to go ballistic.

Woman: “Why do I have to check in? This is all bulls***! Why do I have to do this?!”

Me: “You’d do this anywhere else. It’s just precautionary.”

We finally got past that section, with security giving us “Calm down” looks.

Next, we had to be checked to make sure that we had no weapons. [Woman] erupted again, as loud as she possibly could.

Woman: “F****** h***, this is bulls***!”

Finally, we got closer to the studio. We were asked politely for our ID as they were serving alcohol, and [Woman] was asked to leave her bag in a secure locker as it was a hazard in case of a fire, etc.; you don’t want to be tripping over bags and such.

This was the last straw for her. She began screaming at the poor girl.

Woman: “This is completely f***ed! It’s a massive inconvenience and you’ve ruined my day!”

She then stormed off back into the lift and went home.

This, folks, was the last step before entering the studio. Sadly, my mate rang me later to tell me that [Woman] has now been issued with a lifetime ban and is unable to attend any studio tapings of any show at the network.

I am working at home while trying to manage my young children during the health crisis. I hear the doorbell ring and look through the peephole to see a salesman who has ignored the “No Soliciting” sign as well as our local Stay At Home orders. He sees movement and begins to knock as well as ring the doorbell. I sigh and begin to look for a mask when my three-year-old, already masked, opens the door by himself.

Three-Year-Old: “Are you Amazon?”

Salesman: “No.”

My three-year-old slammed the door, and the salesman walked away!

My immune system is busted, but I can’t tell if it’s reacting too much or not enough, so to stay safe, I’m steering clear of people for now. I’m also steering clear of the smoke so thick it looks like fog, which is enveloping half the West Coast as of August 2021 and, apparently, for the rest of our existence.

Part of avoiding people involves getting my groceries by ordering online and coming to pick them up. I do my thing, order my groceries, go to pick them up, present my card for the purchase… and it doesn’t work with the mobile card reader.

The young employee tries again. And again. Still busted. This is annoying, but whatever; clearly their Wi-Fi is kicking a fit, and it’s not like I don’t know how computer problems go.

Employee: “Okay, let me just take down your card number so I can run it in the store.”

I’m thinking, naively, that this means the number on the front of the card.

Me: “Oh, here.”

I hand my card over.

Employee: “Uh… No, the number.”

I suddenly have a horrible suspicion.

Me: “Do you mean my PIN?“

He responds as if this is totally normal.

Employee: “Yes.”

My soul leaves my body at about this point.

Me: “Sir, I am not giving you my PIN.”

Employee: “Uh. Sure.”

Somewhere in our wrestling match with the mobile card unit, the employee explained that some customers had been insisting that he take their PINs to avoid having to get out of the car. When we eventually had to go in, I let the manager know EXACTLY what some jerks were bullying a poor high schooler into, and that the poor kid was going to end up giving his own PIN away and not have any money after that.

Eventually, I was able to pay and leave, and hopefully, that manager has just learned why we say “no” to problem customers.