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If The Stuff In Your Mask Is Like The Stuff In Diapers, You’ve Got PROBLEMS

, , , , , , | Right | March 23, 2022

I live in Western Australia, and we haven’t had to mask up much compared to other places. I worked in a very busy cafe in a very rich suburb from 2019 to 2021.

I would see people put their masks on at the door, come to the counter, and complain about wearing a mask, and then they would sit down and take their masks off.

Meanwhile, I was stuck serving, talking, and breathing in a mask for ten hours.

One day, a man came in without a mask.

Customer: “I don’t wear chin diapers.”

Me: “This is Australia; we call them nappies here. You’ve been watching too much South Park.”

I refused him service and never saw him again.

Just a tip, don’t go up to workers who have to wear masks all day and complain about them.

It Would Be Less Effort Just To Wear The Dang Thing

, , , | Right | March 22, 2022

Since my store started requiring masks, we’ve seen a lot of interesting choices. My favorite was the customer who wore a plastic face shield like a sun visor, with a message on it on a piece of masking tape.

Message: “OBEY, SERF — WORN BY FORCE, NOT BY CHOICE”

The runner-up was the guy who taped one layer of cheesecloth to his face with a piece of masking tape labeled, “PLACEBO”.

Freedom Isn’t Free, But Being Decent Is

, , , | Right | March 21, 2022

A man entered our store recently without a mask. When we asked him to put one on, he began ranting.

Man: “You’re violating my rights! And you’re taking away my freedom!”

And so on.

I calmly told him about my experiences serving in the Army, which included a tour in Germany while the Berlin Wall was still up.

Me: “That is what ‘not having freedom’ looks like. If you think being asked to wear a mask while inside a store is ‘taking your freedom,’ then perhaps your life has been a little too sheltered.”

The guy stood there with his mouth open, not having a clue what to say. I just smiled.

If Their Doors Suck, What Else Could Be Wrong?

, , , , , , | Working | March 17, 2022

Some family members that I live with come home with a certain contagious illness. I’m vaccinated, but I’m also pregnant, so I really do not want to risk catching it from them. My dad graciously agrees to pay for me to get a hotel room until the risk has passed. I find one that allows dogs (I have two chihuahuas with me), but my sister finds another that is supposed to be cheaper.

My boyfriend and I check out of the first hotel by 11:00 am and wait four hours to check into the second hotel. First, I find that while the price would be cheaper, the second hotel charges over $100 more for pet fees. As I don’t want Dad to have to pay the cancellation fee, we decide it’s fine.

We walk up to the room while I’m carrying both chihuahuas, and we lament that it’s really going to suck being three floors up and having to take the dogs in and out. We get to the door and it won’t open. The green light is on, but the door isn’t budging. After shoving into the door a couple of times, we decide to go back to the desk. No one is there. My arms are tired as one chihuahua is incredibly fat, so we put them in the car while we try to get the room dealt with. At the desk again, I explain the issue.

Me: “Our door won’t open. The light is coming on, so I don’t think it’s the key, but it’s like the door is blocked or something.”

Desk Lady: “Oh? Odd. I’ll send someone up to check on it.”

We decide to leave the dogs in the car and go back up. Eventually, someone from housekeeping wanders over.

Housekeeper: “Having problems with the door?”

Me: “Yes. The light is coming on, but it’s not opening.”

The housekeeper then proceeds to slam her entire body into the door! Finally, after the third try, steadily crashing into it with more and more force, she gets it open. I am in complete shock!

Housekeeper: “Yeah, this door sticks all the time. It’s really common here. You’ll just have to force it.” *Looks at my obviously pregnant belly* “Well, you probably shouldn’t, but he can.”

We go in and I tell my boyfriend I am uncomfortable staying here due to the likeliness of getting locked out, possibly with one of the dogs inside the room, and no way to get to them until he gets off work. We go back to the desk, and I tell the same desk lady that I want a refund.

Me: “I’m sorry, but being pregnant, I don’t think I’m capable of forcing that door open multiple times a day to let the dogs in and out.”

Desk Lady: “Oh, no problem. A lot of the doors have that issue. Let me call the manager.”

She gets on the phone, talks for a minute, and hangs up.

Desk Lady: “Okay, here’s your refund. I don’t think it was even taken off your card yet.”

At that moment, another guy walks up and I presume he’s the manager.

Manager: “You don’t want to stay here because the door sticks?!”

Me: “No. I don’t want to stay here because the door is impossible for me to open.”

The manager responds condescendingly while seemingly trying to intimidate me by standing over me in my personal space.

Manager: “Well, I’m sure if you just apply a little force, it’ll open. That’s no excuse for a refund.” 

Me: “Look. I’m pregnant and would have to let my dogs out to go potty pretty frequently. I’m not risking harming my unborn child to force the door open, nor will I let my dogs go potty in your hotel room. Thanks, but no, thanks. It’s not worth it to stay here.”

I walked out. I noticed afterward that Dad did not get charged the cancellation fee and we went back to the first hotel. I only wish we hadn’t wasted four hours waiting in the car, but while the two workers were nice, the manager seemed like a complete jerk.

They’re Allergic To Your Nonsense

, , , , , | Right | March 17, 2022

We asked a customer to put on a mask in the store. He instantly went irate and started screaming.

Customer: “You’re violating my constitutional rights!”

And blah, blah, blah.

Just as he was starting to throw F-bombs, I had one of my allergy-induced coughing fits. They are very loud and sound like I have bronchitis. I cannot feel them coming on, nor can I stop them once they start. I just have to stand there and cough until I stop. This usually lasts anywhere from ten seconds to a full minute.

My coworkers know this cough well and tend to just ignore it or explain to customers that it’s just allergies. Not this time, though. To their credit, they all just stared at me wide-eyed while I coughed up a lung.

The man’s tirade quickly faded away and he backed away slowly and then just silently left the store.

My coughing fit ended shortly after he left, and my coworkers and I had a good laugh.