I work in the Member Service Department in a call center. So, naturally, when a certain health crisis hits, my company immediately decides to move everyone who was able to work from home, including our entire department.

Cut to a couple of weeks later. My cat has gotten used to me being home all the time but not quite that I have to work and I am not there to pet and give her attention at all times. Today, I am finishing up a call with an older member. The call is difficult and I have been on the phone with her for about a half-hour now. I think I have managed to save the situation by being a model of professionalism. Then, this happens.

Me: “Once again, thank you for your patience, Mrs. [Caller], and for allowing me to assist you. Again, I apologize that this has occurred.”

Caller: *Still agitated* “I am still not very happy! But you at least sound like you know what you’re doing, so I believe you did everything you could.“

I heave a sigh of relief. My cat chooses this exact moment to jump onto my desk… and meow as loudly as she can into the mic.

Cat: “Mreow!”

Cue about five seconds of silence.

Caller: *Laughing* “Oh, my! Is that your cat? Oh, that is just the cutest! You’ve made my day! Oh, my.”

She is still laughing as she hangs up.

Cat: “Mreow?“

Me: “Really?“

It’s been almost two years now. She still interrupts my calls, but I have become much quicker at hitting the mute button.

It’s spring 2022 and everyone is back at the office. We’re having a meeting in one of the conference rooms. The person doing the presentation puts their slideshow up on the large smart monitor. This monitor is — I cannot stress this enough — in the same physical conference room where everyone else is.

Presenter: *Points at the screen* “Okay, can everyone see this?”

Everyone: “…Yes?”

Presenter: “Good. Now, I called this meeting to…”

The penny drops.

Presenter: “Oh. Sorry. It’s been two years of Zoom meetings.”

I am delivering groceries with an app during the early part of the health crisis, and I take a well-paying order for a warehouse store. I groan when I realize it is, among other things for pets, over a hundred pounds of dog food, but it pays well, so I quickly get everything and drive to the house.

Since people are minimizing contacts, I plan to leave everything on the porch and not actually see anyone. I enter a large property via a gate, and five dogs come whipping around to chase my car.

I slow down to a crawl so as not to hit the dogs, and I do my best to unload everything while they greet and jump on me. Fortunately, I like pets and help with an animal rescue; I’m not nervous.

Me: “Did you guys order all this food and stuff? You must be hungry! Good dogs!”

I briefly enjoyed five minutes of fluffy heaven before leaving, but I never saw a human. I still laugh when I think of that delivery and get a mental image of the dogs trying to use an app!

I have pretty terrible eyesight, and due to ongoing mask mandates, I usually can’t wear my glasses because wearing a mask causes them to fog up.

I am walking to the cafeteria in my work building, and in the distance, I can see that someone has placed a traffic cone from outside in the hallway. Something has been written on it, but I can’t read it.

I draw closer but still can’t read the cone. I assume it is the hospital name and maybe “Facilities,” referring to our maintenance team.

I draw even closer but still can’t make out the writing. Then, my foot slides out from under me and I slam into the floor. 

Coworker: “Oh, my God, [My Name], didn’t you see the wet floor cone?” 

Sigh…

I’m at the pharmacy. A customer comes in and talks to the pharmacist.

Customer: “Do you have masks made in France? Here there are only made in China masks.”

Pharmacist: “I’ll look in the storeroom.”

She does and comes back.

Pharmacist: “No, I only have masks made in China. But you can buy them if you want. We use them here.”

Customer: “Well, don’t be surprised if your eyes get slanted!”